Who’ll Stop the Pain? — For the first time ever, the audition results explode my heart like a Barstow meth lab, as FOUR girls I know and love are edged out by an infusion of new talent

Wow.  Just… wow.  I never in a million years ever thought that the UCLA Spirit Squad Auditions would cause me more emotional pain than a 50-0 loss to u$c.  I’ve been attending this annual event for about a decade, and everyone I’ve ever been “friends” with from the squad who attempted to return for another year has been retained.  Until now.  And I can’t deal with the pain.

This turn of events really changes my outlook on this whole process.  I always just assumed that the people I know who have already proven worthy would be “automatically” renewed.  Now, I will be nervous as hell along with the participants, practically PRAYING for the outcome I want.  I feel HORRIBLE for these girls.  I hope they are dealing with it better than I am.  I will really miss them.  I am not going to mention their names, because I don’t think that would be appropriate at this time.  But I will say there were two from the Cheer Squad, one from the Dance Team, and one girl who I had met at the tryouts, and online, who wasn’t on the team last year, but she made the Finals this year, and she is so nice, and I was pulling for her too.

Of these four fallen angels, there is one that I will miss the most.  Again, I’m not going to mention any names, but she came up to me out of the blue last year at a Football game, told me that she (and her teammates) LOVE my photos and sincerely appreciate my support.  That unsolicited comment made me happy for weeks.  She was (is) so sweet, and, imo, one of the cutest, most beautiful girls the squad has ever had.  I simply cannot believe that she will not be returning.  I’m not calling for a recount or anything — I just can’t believe the Judges made other selections.

Ok — I am depressed about this, yes.  However, I still respect the Selection Committee and Mollie and her staff.  I don’t think “the fix was in,” or that they “screwed up.”  I realize that my opinions are just opinions.  I also realize that beauty is subjective, and that I am not the ultimate expert on stunting or dance.  So maybe there were some incoming Freshmen who were more deserving.  I accept that possibility.  But it doesn’t stop me from being driven to tears with sympathy for these four students.

Nor did it stop me from taking a personal record SIXTEEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY photos at the event.  1,620.  That’s one thousand, six hundred and twenty.  OMG.  Am I insane?  Unfortunately, the light is low in the Student Activity Center, so the 1000 photos I took with no flash came out way too dark.  Why, you ask, did I not ALWAYS use the flash?  Because it takes ten seconds to recharge, and if I wait, I miss SOOOOOO many great shots!!  Of course, after looking at the 1000-pic collection of a dark abyss, I will change.  Next time, I will wait for the flash, but only get about 500 shots.  At least they will be good ones… like the EIGHTY pics that I am sharing with you today.

But first, I have one other thing I am compelled to discuss.  At today’s Auditions, there was a MALE who was trying out for the DANCE TEAM.  Before I continue, I NEED to tell you that I am undeniably PRO-EQUALITY.  Pro Gay Marriage, Pro LGBT, ANTI-North Carolina bathroom laws, etc.  In general, pretty socially liberal.  So I understand why it’s not necessarily proper to deny ANYONE the right to try out.  That being said…

I will flip out if a male is ever added to the UCLA Dance Team.  It is just WRONG to me.  This is an ICONIC group, with an iconic LOOK, that would be decimated by having a male involved.  The Spirit Squad has two other divisions that would — and does –gladly accept males.  But NOT the Dance Team.  Call me old fashioned, call me a sexist if you must, but I think Hooters should be allowed to hire only females to wait their tables, and I think UCLA should be allowed to have an exclusively female dance troupe.

If this convention is broken, I think I would stop supporting the Spirit Squad, stop donating/attending fundraisers, and (god help me) stop taking photos.  Do I sound like a White Male PIG/Trump voter?  I’m not, but on this one issue, I can’t help myself.  I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I would consider it blasphemy.  To give you another example of something similar that really disturbs me:  Daniel Craig did something recently — for a GREAT CAUSE — that I think was disrespectful to another icon: James Bond.  007 is the ultimate hero.  All my life, he has been the epitome of manliness and COOL.  But Craig basically invoked the Bond image and then dressed in drag.  James Bond in full women’s make-up, and women’s clothing.  Please don’t hate me.  I have no issue with transvestites, or drag queens, or anything like that.  If Daniel Craig wants to be Daniela Craig, that’s fine too, But the trademarked iconic James Bond character shouldn’t be — in my humble opinion — subjected to that kind of twist.  I support women’s equality whole-heartedly, and that was the cause he was helping — I just wish he did it as himself and not as my beloved he-man hero.  🙂  And I hope that the UCLA Dance Team, which has for decades represented the pinnacle of feminine beauty and grace, continues to do just that.

Anyway, I’m truly sorry if these views bother you.  I hardly ever get “political” here — This site is supposed to be light-hearted comedy and satire, plus Rivalry-motivated venom.  But with the heartache I experienced last night, I was feeling a little more serious.  I hope you can forgive me.

And now, finally… 80 shots of the outstanding students who tried out for the UCLA Spirit Squad.




4 responses to “MY HEART IS BREAKING BAD”

  1. JP Avatar

    Omg, my jaw is on the floor. No Carly, or Julia or Dana! This is heartbreaking.

    And I agree. The Dance Team should be all girls.

  2. Gen Avatar

    @JP I don’t think Carley or Jane tried out this year.
    This is a silly reason but, the main reason I couldn’t see a male on the dance team is because of the uniforms. I’d assume the football uniform would be similar to the male cheer leaders, which are alright for cheer because the males primarily stunt and perform arm motions, but dance is constantly moving and if the male dancers had a uniform similar to the male cheerleaders I really, really don’t think that uniform would suit the dances. I can’t even imagine what they would do for the basketball uniforms either.

  3. DG Avatar

    Not seeing Lona on the cheer list for next year. She was really nice and will be missed!

    [T-H’s Note: D-: ]

  4. UCLADave Avatar

    As a former judge of the Spiriit Squad tryouts .. back in the early 90’s …i get that you develop favorites during the whole process and are disappointed when one of ” my ” girls didnt make it …but it is a competition ..not everyone can win …back in my day any member of the spirit squad could be on the squad only two years and no member was guaranteed a spot trying out for that second year .. i like this because it gives everyone a chance to be on the squad ..but you not revealing the names of those that didnt be asked back be cause you think it would be inappropriate …all we have to do is go to the spirit squad website and see the names of the students who made the squad and compare to last years squad snd see who is back and who is not …im sure some graduated out of the system or for whatever reason chose not to try out again but to not reveal the names of those and give her or him a last photo montage i think would BE appropriate

    [T-H’s Note: Thank you for the feedback. I truly appreciate it. Yes I know that people can do the research and figure out who was cut, but since there were so many that DIDN’T ATTEMPT to return, it wasn’t obviously apparent. Therefore, I allowed that uncertainty to linger a bit. I didn’t want to embarrass anyone, or “highlight” the fact that they were cut. I actually received an incredibly sweet communique from one of them, so my effort to be respectful was appreciated, I think. And I definitely included photos of all three of them in the article. As for doing a farewell tribute pictorial, I love that idea, but I’m not sure it would be appreciated by the powers that be. Instead, I could do one for all the girls that aren’t back this year, without specifying which ones tried and which ones didn’t. I will consider doing that in the near future. And finally, I understand and agree that no one, including returnees, are guaranteed a roster spot, or should be. It should be open, and fair, and based on merit, as it is. Anyway, thanks again for your input. I welcome more from you in the future as well.]