“Kiss your Asst. goodbye!”  Is that what Lane Kiffin’s voicemail spewed at the Titans’ Head Coach, AFTER Kiffin had already stolen Assistant Kennedy Pola without so much as a heads up?

Smokin’ Pola!  Who knew that ex-trojan Kennedy Pola would be such a smokin’-hot commodity?  How hot?  Hot enough to cause a rift between the current Head Football Coach of usc, and ex-trojan Jeff Fisher, the current and long-time Head Coach of the Tennessee Titans.

Fisher complained to the Media that Kiffin pulled an unprofessional stunt yesterday, by hi-jacking Titans’ Running Back Coach Kennedy Pola without the courtesy of a pre-snatch phone call.  Pola will be the new Offensive Coordinator for usc, while the Titans are left searching to fill an important hole, just days before Training Camp starts.

The usual protocol for such a snatch would be to call the Head Coach from whom you are poaching, PRIOR to the pitch.  Kiffin admits that he talked to Pola on Friday, then called Fisher on Saturday, AFTER Pola had already gotten back to Kiffin.  At least he didn’t try to DENY his sleazy maneuver.  I guess there was just no way to keep Kiffin “off the Pola” (as Chirs Rock might say).  But Fisher says Kiffin shouldn’t have touched Pola with a 10-foot Pola, until after speaking to Fisher.   And by the way, there is NO truth to the rumor that Pola, in honor of his return to usc, will be changing his name to “Pola-roid.”

The good news of the day is that Pola has no experience as an Offensive Coordinator.  If you were a High School QB, who would you rather play for, Pola, or Norm Chow?  The good news for usc?  Matt Barkley-to-Kyle Prater might make a Coordinator superfluous.  If Prater lives up to his hype, Pola can just yell “Go Deep!” and Barkley can just heave it as far as he can, and if it’s up for grabs, Prater will come down with it.  Of course, it’s a lot to expect from a Freshman, but with a green Pola suddenly “in charge,” there won’t be enough time to install a lot of complex schemes, leaving the simple Bomb to Prater as an extraordinarily viable option.

Speaking of options, Kiffin seems to be running out of them.  It has been reported that trojan recruit Glenn Stanley wants OUT of his commitment, but Kiffin is REFUSING to grant him his release.  At this point, I consider this story to be “alleged,” since it comes from a non-National web source, and because it appears that Stanley may have “issues” himself.   He started at a Junior College, then transferred to UCF,  but had problems with admissions there, so he went to Tennessee.  But Kiffin had just left, so Stanley followed Kiffin to usc, where admissions wouldn’t be an issue.

After all that, Stanley doesn’t want to be a Kiffinite anymore?  And Kiffin doesn’t want him to leave?  Is Kiffin that desperate?  A source in Boulder says to expect SEVERAL more trojans to defect to the Buffaloes in the coming weeks.  If true, that would explain Kiffin’s desire to hold captive a kid who has NO DESIRE to become a “trojan for life,” or for even one minute.

By the way, one minute would be 60 seconds TOO LONG.

So in one day (if the Stanley reports are accurate), Kiffin has alienated a respected and successful trojan alum (and a member of the NFL “fraternity”), AND committed the recruiting sin of, in essence, kidnapping a teenager and forcing him to become a trojan against his will.  Do you think Kiffin will be able to get 110% out of this kid, if the kid’s heart isn’t in it?  And do you think any other NFL Coaches (besides Pete Carroll) are going to be Kiffin’s allies in the years ahead?  The usc-NFL connection that Carroll and all the Agents worked so hard to establish is now on life-support, and Dr. Kiffvorkian is on the case.

Speaking of Mercy Killing, let’s talk about Dr. Jerry Buss.  This is difficult for me to write, being a serious Laker fan (and former season-ticket holder), but let’s just say I’m eagerly looking forward to the day that Jeannie takes over.  In Saturday’s L.A. Times, there is a letter that Buss wrote, KISSING THE ASS OF MIKE GARRETT.  

Jerry first proclaims his 50 proud years of being a trojan, then slobbers all over himself while smooching Garrett’s fired and disgraced ass.  Buss, in a complete waste of ink, praises Garrett for his accomplishments and National Championships, but doesn’t even come CLOSE to mentioning all the CHEATING, CRIMINAL-CODDLING, AND non-COMPLIANCE that made Garrett a National JOKE.  It just makes you wonder how much of BUSS’ money was funnelled to O.J. Mayo et al.  Maybe Jerry’s fingerprints were all over that $1000 in the infamous envelope that helped bring the curtain down. 

At least the Lakers can’t get in as much trouble as the trojans did, if Buss does something immoral, stupid, and Garrett-like in their name.  Hopefully, Jeannie will assume control soon, and then immediately marry Phil Jackson, giving the Lakers the first-ever Owner/Zenmaster.  Jackson might have 20 rings before he’s done.