In-line SCating

Will it be bread & water for O.J., or SKate Mantellini?

Double JeoParty:  The Juice oozes back into Court today for the ultimate “do-over,” two days after overflowing Lake spills toxic evidence all over Bush, but hold the celebration — Trojan Tailbacks are harder to bring down OFF the field than on

[Emphasis on underlined syllables]

If you’re hating
That they’re skating
And you think they should stop mating,
It could be time to stop the waiting–
Drama could be escalating
Now it’s time for simply stating:
This week might be invigorating.

With outsiders investigating
The SC dirt under gold-plating
Instead of ment‘ly masturbating
While savoring their Nielsen Rating
With Paris and Matt Leinart dating
(Those e-gos don’t need inflating)

Now if you say this rhyme is grating
On your nerves, then you’re dictating
That we must be terminating
This po-em which is equating
The cha-rade of matriculating
At USC, to re-creating
Unique ways of compensating
For calls to be self-fornicating.

Today is the day when the Criminal Justice System gets its second crack at O.J.  The ex-trojan Tailback and current trojan Hero is expected to be in Las Vegas today for a hearing that will determine whether he needs to stand trial, for the Armed Robbery that he is said to have committed at the Palace Station.  The Judge will determine the credibility of O.J.’s accomplices, who are all testifying against Simpson.  If he buys their collective story, O.J. will need another miracle to avoid at least two years behind bars.  Not exactly Life Without Parole, but it’s a start.

And speaking of starts, the NCAA has finally got their Bushgate Investigation out of the Starting Blocks, by meeting with Lawsuit-bringer, Lloyd Lake.  Multitudes of trojan fans, including the resident know-nothing on Bruinzone, had insisted that Lake was bluffing, and would SETTLE with Bush before going to the NCAA.  As usual, multitudes of trojan fans were all wrong.

But even with O.J. and Reggie both facing hard evidence, don’t start popping the champagne just yet.  Trojans have eluded more damning circumstances before, and it’s never too late to bribe someone in power.  So as usual, we will take the skeptical perspective, and just assume that the trojan political machine will somehow save both of the Programs’ Leading Men from any further punishment.

Skating on thin ice.

We’ll flip out if either one of them really gets busted.




2 responses to “In-line SCating”

  1. Michael J. Walsh Avatar
    Michael J. Walsh

    Nice to see the cheer squad finally getting a few quality pics up on this (dance squad biased) site. :p

  2. admin Avatar

    Sorry —

    We really DON’T have a bias — It’s more about who we happen to be stationed in front of when the performances occur. We promise: We love them all equally. One thing though: The cheer squad does pyramids, two-level poses, and more quick moves, which are really hard to capture clearly in photos, so that may be why the Dance Squad is featured here more often.

    But now that you bring it to our attention, we’ll try to balance it out a little more. Just don’t ever expect the Male squadmembers to EVER get equal exposure!