Dedicated to the HATRED of all things trOJan


I bet the car that this plate is on gets vandalized once a week (and will again on Saturday night).

Bruin fans should already be thankful, for a better season than last year;  Spanking the stuffing out of those Gutterball Turkeys would just be gravy

You know what sucked?  When you would have to go see all your relatives for the big Thanksgiving Day celebration, right after your team had lost the big Rivalry game the weekend before.  Undoubtedly, some of your relatives were the typically obnoxious and arrogant fans of your rival, and as soon as they saw you, they went off on you.

Unfortunately, you don’t get to pick your relatives (just one you pick; you inherit the rest).  Many people dread these extended-family get-togethers already, and that’s without the classless taunting.  At least this year, the feast comes before the famine (20 carries for 30 yards, 10 penalties for 85 yards), so the tryptophans will go down a little easier.

With the fans of the favored team slightly lower on confidence than usual, it will be interesting to see if they are as conceited and cocky around the dinner table as what you are used to. 

Hopefully, you have picked up a few items from this website over the last year that you can share with them.  In fact, here are three more:  First of all, it appears that the #1 Hero of trojan football fans, O.J. Simpson, who will be spending his first Turkey Day in jail, is now — get this — COUNSELING other inmates in Race Relations and… ANGER MANAGEMENT.  David Letterman asked, just how bad does your temper have to be if you go to O.J. to settle you down?   Dave added that going to O.J. for Anger Management was like going to Bernie Madoff for Money Management… or to usc for an education?  How long before O.J. starts teaching classes on what he really knows best? 

“Stealing Satellite TV for Dummies 101”

“Hiding Finances in Bogus Foundations named after your Daughter 110”

“Bragging about Double-Murders in Print 135”

“Doing Time for the Wrong Crime  3-2-9”

“Being a trOJan for (20 to) Life 420”

And O.J. wasn’t the only trojan Heisman winner taking heat in the Media this week.  Thanks to “Salil” for sending in this link to a article, about Heisman-winning, “Where-are-they-now” Losers, in an article titled:  “Top 10 Heisman Winners Who Failed at Life.”  The list is bookended by trojans.

Of course, O.J. is #1, but surprisingly, #10 is Matt Leinart.  Leinart, they say, is still languishing on the Arizona bench behind former grocery store bagger Kurt Warner, has an illegitimate child, dates a star of a high school reality show, and spends more time in diseased hot tubs with beer bongs than on the girdiron (or something like that – check the link).  They also skewer southern cal, mentioning Leinart’s “sc signing bonus.”  Nice to know that Spike doesn’t fear sc the same way the NCAA does.  And while we’re on the subject of ex-troy QB’s, Mark Sanchez has gone from “San-chise” to San-cheese” in New York, as the Jets freefall behind the QB with the worst Quarterback Rating of any Starter in the NFL. 

Okay, so talking point #1 was O.J. becoming Dr. Phil, and #2 was Leinart, and to a lesser extent Sanchez, becoming “Fail” posterboys.  #3 is for all those trojan fans who think that Taylor “The Headhunter” Mays is the best DB in the Country.  Apparently, the experts don’t agree, as Mays, who stayed at sc this year for no apparent reason, was LEFT OFF the finalist list for the Jim Thorpe Award.  Maybe the voters were sick of late hits and concussions… and players who were proud of delivering both.

As a matter of fact, NOT ONE TROJAN was among the fianlists on ANY of the late-season Award lists.  To rub it in even further, make sure your trojan dinner guests know that even the UCLA Bruins got someone on the lists — Kai Forbath is on the fianl Lou Groza list, for best Kicker.  In fact, you could say he was a “shoe-in.”

On that (sole-less) note, here is the second batch of photos from the BeatSC Bonfire and Rally Monday night, complete with mouse-over, hidden pop-up captions.  Also, the photos ENLARGE if you click on them.  This is especially handy for the Dance/Cheer shots below, that DESREVE to completely fill your screens.  If you are reading on an iPhone or Blackberry, you’ll never quite know what you’re missing.

  Look at all the cellphones glowing.  Did you older folks know that instead of lighters, THIS is how fans call for encores at rock concerts now?

 Look how loose they are, dancing arm in arm, laughing.  Maybe it is THIS camraderie that will bring them the Bell on Saturday.

Neuheisel passed Go (SD St, Tenn, KSU), bought Baltic Avenue (Wash, WSU), and put a hotel on Marvin Gardens (ASU), and is now thinking about Boardwalk (sc) and Park Place (Pointsettia Bowl).

Okay, so now do what the Yankees just did, and win the big one.

Neuheisel implored Bruin fans to wear their colors proudly, but he didn’t mean just at the game, he meant ALL THIS WEEK at work.

Alterraun Verner was “on,” as usual, which is good, because his name is Alterraun, not Alterauf.

Okay, everybody rub Alterraun’s head for good luck.

It’s Alterraun and the Altar Boy.

Hey, Verner!

Reggie Carter:  “I’m going to throw punches until my knuckles bleed.”

Too bad Neuheisel stopped Carter before he could tell us about what Taylor Mays said about UCLA at their bonfire.  Was it that Taylor is jealous of Rahim Moore?

“How to Strangle a trojan” — As told to Brian Price by Reggie Carter.

Terrence Austin needs a Punt or Kickoff Return for a Touchdown on Saturday, as part of a Bruin victory, in order to keep people in the future from complaining that he was better in 2008 than in 2009.

Who woulda thunk 3 years ago that Chane the Train Moline might be the key to beating usc?

I’m surprised that Chancellor Gene Block doesn’t feel “too dignified” or “above” appearing at a raucous and sometimes raunchy ceremony all about hating the rival… but I love that he doesn’t.

I hope the Chancellor and his wife enjoyed the Bruin Dancers.

…I know I did.

… but not nearly as much as I enjoyed who came next.

The Bonfire Fire Safety Officers almost had to stop this show due to intense heat (from the stage, not from the fire).

A regular Thanksgiving Cornucopia of Beauty.

It’s time to get up in arms, Bruin fans.

Last one until after the Holiday…  Happy Thanksgiving, Bruins.  You know what to do with the Wishbone.

"HAPPY SPANKSGIVING" was published on November 26th, 2009 and is listed in Blue & Gold News, UCLA/usc/Cheerleader Photos, UCLA/usc/Sports Photos.

Comments on "HAPPY SPANKSGIVING": 2 Comments

  1. Ken wrote,

    I love your site, but I fail to see why you’re taking a shot at Kurt Warner. Warner’s a great QB and one that Whinert will never be. So what if Kurt used to be a grocery-store stocker? It made for a great human interest story and besides he DID get a college degree and didn’t have to take ball room dancing to do it. I’d rather be a stockboy than a U$C dancing queen.

    [T-H’s Note: I don’t like Warner. I don’t like Warner’s Wife. I might like him more if he BLAMED the Almighty for the 5-Interception days, to balance out what he says when he wins. That being said, the only reason why I call him the grocery store bagger HERE, is to show just how unlikely, bizarre, and pathetic Leinart’s current situation is.]

  2. tswenson wrote,

    Pom Pom Pete is a classless jerk.

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