GONNA WASH THAT ‘JAN RIGHT OUTTA MY ‘AIR

Orkin should fumigate 70% of the Rose Bowl and try to remove the residue of Classlessness from the trOJans’ sideline/dancefloor

Why can’t people who have “been there before” ACT like they have been there before?  Thanks to the trojans’ annual choke during the Pac-10 season, they keep winding up in a consolation game in Pasadena, against an overrated Midwestern team that always comes out to LaLaLand and is overwhelmed by its surroundings.  Yet, the trojans still manage to act like buffoons in front of a National audience.

With nothing else going on, on New Year’s Day afternoon, and everyone watching, the trojans started out even with Penn State, until the Nittany Lions’ Star Tailback injured his knee.  That just signalled the beginning of the end, as sc took a 7-7 game and made it 31-7 at the Half.  PSU’s Defensive Secondary was a joke, leaving more than one Receiver wide open on every play, including on obvious passing downs.  Sanchez was good enough to hit his open targets — the hardest part was deciding WHICH open Receiver to deliver the ball to.  His numbers were impressive, but it doesn’t mean that he’s going Pro — Anyone could see that even Kevin Craft could have gotten the ball to those wide open Receivers.

As the trojans were starting to pull away in their 24-0 2nd quarter, they took full advantage of the moment to demonstrate for the World what trojan football is all about.  The trojan players all started dancing around, in an outbreak of a group hip-hop disco nation, totally showing up the players on Penn State.  It was still the first half, and the trojans were virtually pouring Gatorade on Pete Carroll, and symbolically dancing on Joe Paterno’s grave.  “Act like you’ve been there before?”  Yeah, right.

Don’t ask about anything that happened after Halftime.  “Dancing with the Stars — Trojan Style” just couldn’t keep the dial on ABC.  Not with the Volume already muted thanks to the shrill sound of the announcers repeatedly kissing Pom Pom’s ass.  The Dark Side was replaced by “The Dark Knight,” actually.  Apparently, Joe Pa’s guys didn’t quit on him.  But as not-so-boldly predicted here a month ago, it was never any contest, and for gamblers, this was the DEFINITION of “Easy Money.”

And for those FEW Bruin fans who DIDN’T follow the wagering tip (most of you said “Duh!” to the prediction of a blowout), there IS some solace:  The Pac-10 went 5-0 in Bowls, which should shut up the East Coast-biased Media, at least for a little while.  [T-H’s Note:  I had no faith in the Pac-10 either — As it is, I’m winning my 40-person, 28-Bowl “Confidence” Pool right now, but if I had taken all 5 Pac-10 teams, I would have already clinched the whole enchilada].

And speaking of hitting the jackpot (and not quitting on his guys), even though this has not exactly been a Happy New Year so far, here is a little pictorial to make it a little happier.  Hopefully, it will make you break one of your New Year’s Resolutions, just 36 hours into 2009.