Category: News from the Dark Side
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ONE DAY MY PRINCE WILL COME
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Bye-Polar: A cold chill swept through Westwood during this bye week heatwave, as it was reported that Kevin Craft is expected to start one more time before Kevin Prince returns Earlier this week Bruin fans were happy, and it was written: Blame it on Three-O. Now some consternation is creeping in. …
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NO BAILOUT FOR CARROLL, CORP
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Huskies are rotten to the Corp, as Pete & Co. are exposed by his ex-assistants in Huskies’ 16-13 hostile takeover, and UCLA moves to 3-0 by investing in Franklin It happens every year like clockwork, but it’s still shocking every time it happens: USC has lost a game where they were huge…
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THE FLIGHT STUFF
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Trojan Hero O.J. Simpson denied bail while awaiting Appeal, due to risk of flight, as the slow, white Bronco comes back to bite him in the ass A Nevada High Court (not “high” as in O.J. Mayojuana) has DENIED O.J. Simpson’s desperate request for a release from prison until his Appeal is…
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SUGGESTION BOX
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Sir Editor: Great website. I love it. Especially the Cheer Pics. You make my day. Suggestion 1: Add Lil “package deal” Romeo to the list of Infamous TrOJans. He is taking up the scholarship from a “deserving” TrOJan. Suggestion 2: Add Al Cowlings to the list of Infamous…
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TROJAN COACHES THROW USC UNDER THE (SHORT) BUS
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Both Pom Pom and Tim-Tim imply that usc gave them special permission to ignore the rules (and common sense) Is this, or is this not, the very DEFINITION of “Lack of Institutional Control?” Yesterday, usc’s head football coach Pete Carroll AND disgraced former head basketball coach Tim Floyd both came out in the Press…
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PETE THE CHEAT AT IT AGAIN?
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Another day, another NCAA investigation into usc football — Now Carroll is accused of violating rules about hiring NFL consultants A day without Pom Pom Pete and his band of uber-thugs getting busted is like a day without sunshine. Luckily, the sun continues to shine brightly in Southern Cal. It…
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NOTHING TO HIDE
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The NCAA’s investigation of usc’s b.s. continues to stall, thanks to Bush’s payoffs and trojan stonewalling Okay, so does everyone understand? Go ahead and break every rule you can, and when you get caught (cardinal-)red-handed, just deny everything and buy off harmful witnesses. THAT, is the usc credo. The NCAA…
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BAN MIXED MARRIAGES!
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Another one bites the dust, as not all Bruin grads make the right decisions Poor kid. With Tommy trojan for a Dad and a woman with severely questionable taste in men for a Mom, it’s gonna be a tough life. No kid should have to go through the Hell that is Rivalry Week in a…
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DOES A BRUIN S*** ON THE WOODS?
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Was accused thug E.J. Woods sent packing by Neuheisel, or did he just realize that he was meant to be a trojan? We’ll never know the real reason, but UCLA Safety E.J. Woods is leaving UCLA. He is transferring to Santa Monica College for a year, and will then attempt a return…
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MAINTAINING THE STAIS QUO
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Ex-trojans still dominate… the Police blotter, as usc Basketballer Stais Boseman gets arrested in relation to a CARJACKING Maybe he was out celebrating the landmark hiring of Kevin O’Neill as new usc Basketball Coach? Chalk up one more STEAL for ex-usc Basketball player Stais Boseman. Actually, let’s wait for the Referees…
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FLOYD BAILS ON GARRETT, ORLANDO SAILS ON MERIT, FERRELL FAILS TO SCARE IT, AND CARROLL… MOLESTS YOUNG BOYS?
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SC’s Basketball Coach “resigns” (but leaves scandal behind); The Magic and Superman earn Game 3 win (but are still behind 2-1); Troy Superfan’s $100 Million dino flick tanks, earning less than $20 Mil (finishing miles behind “The Hangover”); And Pom Pom tries to screw Neuheisel’s kids (leaving no child behind),…
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BRUINS BOLDLY GO WHERE NO TROJAN WILL GO THIS YEAR
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As the prosperous new Star Trek warps past $100 Million, Ariza, Farmar, and the Lakers topple the Rockets to land in the Conference Finals, while Scalabrine, Pruitt, and the Celtics are beamed away Prime Directive #1: Eliminate all trojans. That’s exactly what Orlando did last night — They knocked out…