Trojan Hero O.J. Simpson denied bail while awaiting Appeal, due to risk of flight, as the slow, white Bronco comes back to bite him in the ass
A Nevada High Court (not “high” as in O.J. Mayojuana) has DENIED O.J. Simpson’s desperate request for a release from prison until his Appeal is heard. For some wacky reason, the Court felt that The Juice might try to STAY loose, even when his court date arrives. Now from WHERE would they get THAT idea? Does the 405 Freeway ring a bell?
Al “A.C.” Cowlings will remember. After O.J. killed two people, A.C. and O.J. took a little joyride that took the Nation by storm. The whole Country watched as O.J. tried in vain to escape capture for his heinous acts. But Cowlings drove too slowly, and O.J. got caught. Of course, the trial was blown, and O.J. got off, but Justice righted itself, when O.J. was nailed for Kidnapping.
Now O.J. is appealing his Guilty verdict, and apparently, he doesn’t enjoy Assrape City, so he asked politely to be let out. After the High Court stopped laughing (for 3 hours), they issued a statement, which called O.J.’s (more recent) crimes violent and serious, and called O.J. a Flight Risk, which has to be the most glaring understatement ever made.
So it looks like the Bronco chase, and Simpson’s complete lack of integrity, are forcing him to stay in his cell in the Greybar Hotel, instead of basking in luxury in a Miami mansion that should by all rights belong to the Goldmans and Browns by now.
You know what that means: A whole shipload of trojans will go out and buy new Simpson usc jerseys this weekend. And maybe O.J.’s cellmate will try Simpson on for size too.