Category: News from the Dark Side
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AIR-BORNE SUPREMACY
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“Swim with Mike” charity soars to new heights and so do the new-identity Song Girls, as a Conspiracy is Born to send an Ultimatum to the UCLA Spirit Squad: The Chase is On — If you slow down, you’ll get caught Forget the celebrated Oregon Duck Cheerleaders — USC’s re-vamped song girls are the…
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WATCH YOUR SIX
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Six Bruin fighters are soaring into the NBA Playoffs, led by OKC’s high-flying pilot Russell Westbrook, who is Thundering back to L.A. to combat the Top Gun Lakers (who have been in Cruise Control for weeks, cooling their jets) Attention UCLA Basketball fans: There is still more Bruin Roundball to root for this year,…
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PITINO’S BOYS GET LICKED, BUT THIS TIME IT ISN’T CONSENSUAL
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Cal aborts Louisville’s season with a game-opening 22-4 assault, and a game-closing 15-2 spurt that headed off a comeback and sent the adulterous, extorted Coach and his Buckle-buddies packing, 77-62 Rick Pitino is a great, National Championship-winning Coach, who got falsely accused of Rape and later extorted for Abortion money…
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SLIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: BATTERED BY THE SMITHSONIAN
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O.J. donates his “Acquittal Suit” to the Smithsonian, but the Institute tells the institutionalized ex-trojan to keep his pants on (good advice where HE is) In the last few days, there has been a flurry of activity in O.J.’s camp, but things at the Smithsonian couldn’t have been Stiller. Despite…
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THE CHOKER AND THE THIEF
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Ex-trojan (sort of) O.J. Mayo chokes away the game-sealing Free Throws, Kobe’s 3 with 4.3 seconds left steals the lead away, and Mayo’s miss at the buzzer leaves Memphis in a Purple Haze If none of his games at sc actually counted, is he still an ex-trojan? You’re damn right he…
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PROBE OF McNAIR’S NOT SHORT-SHORT
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The NCAA Interrogation of Todd McNair and sc FOOTBALL gets legs and runs for two full days — kicking Floyd back — and in a close shave, a Bush deposition on March 5th WILL BE IN TIME to increase the severity of sc’s penalties, which really has trojan fans in a lather…
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FARCE OF NATURE
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A teary-eyed Garrett claims cheating is not in sc’s “nature,” in a desperate, 11th hour attempt to beg the NCAA for Mercy Somebody call The Guinness Book of World Records — Mike Garrett may have just told The World’s Biggest Lie. Just days before the NCAA convenes to determine the fate…
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ALL CHOKED UP OVER LOVE, HOLIDAY
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Valentine’s Day, 2010: Men shopped and cards were swapped, Nascars stopped and then were topped when All-Stars popped the shots that dropped, but Bruins flopped (‘cuz roster’s chopped and cropped by those who opt to hop) and the attitude was copped Valentine’s Day is always about avoiding potholes, but this year, more than…
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LITTLE DOUCHE COOP
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And we’ll have FUn, FUn, FUn, now the Bruins put the tro-gals away: UCLA stuffs a banana in Michael Coop De-vil’s filth-spewing tailpipe, with a Good Vibrations throttling of the southern California Girls Wouldn’t it be nice… …if JUSTICE always came this easily? A month after usc Women’s Basketball Coach…
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HONEYCUTTS DOWN THE TREES
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Is there nuttin’ Honeycutt can’t do? Tyler’s near triple-double leads UCLA past Stanford 77-73, and into a tie for First Place in the Pac-10 A Bit o’ Honeycutt was all the Bruins needed this year to turn it around. UCLA is suddenly in 1st Place in the Conference, after many…
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IT’S IN THE HOLT!
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Par for the Curse: O’Neill’s bench caddy Stan Holt has “trojan class” going for him (which is nice), and the sc Student Manager proves it in the rough loss to Oregon, by picking up a game-changing T(ee) for aiming coarse language at the Ref Blame it on the Ballboy. USC…
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CAPTAIN CRUNCH!
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Milking SIX “Captain & Cokes” sailed soggy Maualuga to near-double the legal limit when he crunched a teen girl’s car into another teen girl’s car, a parking meter, and another parked car; His “Not Guilty” plea could mean that sc plans on sugar-coating this whole thing Got a little Captain in you? Got…