Category: News from the Dark Side
-
UCLA TEETERS, BUT BEATS ANT-EATERS
•
Not caught by Zots: Bruins almost blow another 15-point lead, committing 17 Turnovers and missing 9 of 13 Free Throws late, but deny Irvine 74-73 with game-saving Defensive stop Life without Tyler Honeycutt is not always sweet. With Honeycutt — their best all-around player — out with a shoulder injury,…
-
SATURDAY NIGHT FEEBLE
•
Despite UCLA’s impotent Offense, the Bruins were Stayin’ Alive in the 4th Quarter, until their Defense finally weakened, allowing Allen Bradford and sc to Boogie; Will this be the end of Rick Neuheisel and all his Jive-Talking? When you complete only 1 pass downfield in two hours, against the worst…
-
TEAGUE EGAN GETS CARTED OFF THE FIELD
•
The trojan Agent/student who got Dillon Baxter suspended with a golf cart ride, has been de-certified as an NFL Agent So much for being the NFL’s youngest Agent. Now Teague Egan isn’t an Agent at all. Thanks to the NFL Players Association showing some Integrity, a whole slew of trojan…
-
THREE ORDERS OF TROJAN EGOTISM, ALA CART
•
Ya gotta have cart: Arrogant trojan Agent/Student asks $150,000 for his cart; He then announces that he’ll rep several trojans next week, but doesn’t have any agreements in place (because that would be an NCAA violation); Meanwhile, a whole classroom of trojans watch a man collapse but do nothing to help…
-
THE PAIN OF LANE FALLS MAINLY ON MUSTAIN
•
In insane rain, the reign of the vain goes down the drain, when an inane INT shows Mustain’s untrained brain has much to gain… but Ronald Johnson can’t complain — He dropped a pass that would have slain Notre Dame Big disclaimer: Anything snarky I say about usc today should…
-
TROJANS BLAME IT ON ILLNESS AND FA-TEAGUE
•
u$c says student/Agent Teague Egan was warned that giving cart rides to players was a violation, but that didn’t stop him from picking up Dillon Baxter, who accepted only because he was sick and tired “Sick and tired,” indeed. Everyone in the Country is sick and tired of the unmitigated…
-
IT’S A GAME OF KATZ AND MOUSC
•
Wonderful World of ‘Quizzney: Mickey Mouse trojans get beaten Goofy by Beavers 36-7, as Ryan Katz and Jacquizz Rodgers make sure that Reser Stadium remains a Haunted House for usc It’s a smile world after all. The trojans lost another game on Saturday night, but they might be about to lose…
-
BAXTER PUTS THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE
•
Par for the horse: Trojan Dillon Baxter, doing his best Reggie Bush impression, gets busted for taking a free ride on campus, from an Agent in a golf cart (and I thought trojans only used golf carts when searching for the real killers) So Baxter says he didn’t know. Now where…
-
TACKLE-ME ELMO
•
Bruins aren’t tacklish at all in un-funny 29-21 loss to Wildcats, then big Birds toy with trojans before saying “Open Sesame” to floodgates, and teaching a lesson to (non-) tackling dummies in 53-32 laugher Usc is 2-3 in the Pac-10. That WOULD have been good for a chuckle, if the…
-
JUICE BOXED
•
This time, concentrating on the Race Card doesn’t hold water, as fruity Appeal gets tossed, and O. J. gets tossed back into the Deep Freeze, for at least another 7 years After the Bruins got beaten to a pulp on Thursday night, my fellow trojan-haters and I really needed a pick-me-up… and…
-
UNASSISTED SEAU-CIDE
•
Ex-trojan Junior Seau gets arrested for battering his girlfriend, then batters himself by driving off a cliff; He claims that he fell asleep at the wheel, but wouldn’t most people be amped up and UNABLE to sleep after getting busted for spousal abuse? What is it with trojans and denial? …
-
LUCK YOU (AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON)
•
The trojans are Lucked Up Beyond All Recognition, after Stanford’s Andrew Luck saddles them with their second straight last-second photo-finish loss Yeah, I know: UCLA sucks much worse than usc does, and usc is going to kill the Bruins in December. UCLA got absolutely destroyed by Cal on Saturday, 35-7…