Category: News from the Dark Side
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TROJAN-HATING GONE VIRAL
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In a Poll for which usc IS eligible, trojans Spencer Pratt and O.J. Simpson are voted the #2 and #4 “Most Hated People in America” Due to rampant cheating and an arrogant lack of remorse, U$C is currently BANNED from the College Football National Rankings, i.e. The USA Today Coaches’…
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CON-SOLATION PRIZE
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Hugs, not thugs — UCLA gets barraged with bad news, tempered by a couple of pieces of good news, plus Kiffin getting busted again, and a 40-photo nostalgic look at fan-favorite Brianna [UPDATED, at 10:55am on Thursday, July 28th] Adding insult to injury… Just days after the Bruins’ Freshman phenom QB…
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THE JOKING GUN
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Another trojan admits that U$C pays its players (“USC, they breakin’ bread!”), but then insists he was just joking (“Dough!”) U$C Running Back Marc Tyler finally came clean this week (just like Lonnie White did last month), by telling TMZ that he gets lots of cash to play for the trojans. …
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Top TEN? How about Top ONE?
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U$C makes the Top Ten… list of “Most Crooked College Programs of All Time” There was a crooked school… Yesterday, the U$C trOJans were “immortalized,” by being inserted into the roster of Top Ten Most CROOKED Colleges in History (as compiled by an unbiased source completely UNaffiliated to BeatSC.com). They weren’t…
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THE KINGS’ PEACH
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SAC gets a pair of ballers — Bruin Tyler Honeycutt drops to the 2nd Round before being drafted #35 by the Sacramento Kings, where he will swing with Jimmer Fredette (but will be handled by an ex-trojan), and Bruin Malcolm Lee gets selected #43 by Chicago (but is expected to be traded to Minnesota, where he…
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NOT-SO-LITTLE WHITE LIE
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One White Makes a Wrong — Ex-trojan Lonnie White confesses to taking $14,000 in cash to play for U$C U$C had been cheating for a long time before Reggie Bush ever came to town, and now, more first-hand proof bears that out. Former trojan(-for-life?) and apparent Media Whore Lonnie White…
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CRASS CROWN
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Classless Owner and his wife-beating Point Guard are beneficiaries of another total choke by the NBA’s so-called Super Team, as over-rated choker LeBron James will now take his talents on vacation So much for the Miami Heat stacking the deck and buying an NBA Championship. For the 3rd game in a row,…
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TWO QUALITY ASSETS, ONE QUALIFIED ASSISTANT, ONE UNQUALIFIED ASS
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Three Men and a Baby — Bruin Pitching Assassins go #1 and #3 in the MLB Draft, highly-regarded Korey McCray ascends from AAU to Ben Howland’s staff, and whining SUC-up Bill Plaschke tries to assuage trojan guilt For the first time since 1978, two of the top three picks in…
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POLL STRIPPER
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Trojans get spanked again — The BCS votes to take u$c’s tainted 2004 Title away, making the “One-peat” a “No, Pete” Don’t look now, but the hated BCS finally got something right: They have VACATED the 2004 BCS Title, stripping cheating u$c of the honor. What took so long, you…
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DOES IT GET ANY “VILER” THAN TYLER?
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Trojan Marc Tyler gets busted for spitting on a woman and allegedly sexually assaulting another one For the first time ever, I am GLAD that Marc Tyler didn’t choose to attend his Father’s alma mater. It is now apparent that Wendell Tyler’s son is simply not Bruin material… but he…
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New t-shirt, made to order for a fellow trojan-hater
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Just a simple, straightforward design that says it all. Available now for under $20, at http://www.cafepress.com/beatsc.512848343
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RUBBERS BANNED, MAN
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The U$C Con-Dumbs get no protection from NCAA Bowl Ban, stiff scholarship reductions, or 4-year Probation, as the Appeal Rejection leaves Pat Haden “scratching his head” So — Pat Haden and the trojans “vehemently disagree” with the NCAA’s decision to UPHOLD all the sanctions against U$C in their entirety. They…