BRUINS ARE SMOKIN’, PART 2

Thank You For Smoking:  The tailgate grills and Alterraun (“The Burner”) Verner won’t be the only ones smoking on Monday night

Man can not live on Hickory-smoked meats alone.

Man needs Football, and man needs beautiful Bruin co-eds.  At least THIS man does.  The off-season has lasted an eternity, but the smoke is finally about to clear, and you UCLA fans are about to immerse yourselves in your most-beloved Sport.

But with a dreary outlook for an injured and undermanned Football team, the joy this year may come only from the one element of UCLA on which you can always rely:  The Bruin Spirit Squad.

As the Football Team re-builds, the Spirit Squad reloads, already retaining an All-American-caliber core from last season.   Despite what you might have seen on ABC yesterday afternoon, the only Dynasty in town is UCLA Spirit.

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The Doak Walker Watch List came out recently, and through a classic snafu, included the name of Marc Dellins, UCLA’s Sports Information Director.  Once Dellins’ name was removed — and replaced by UCLA’ Kahlil Bell’s — the list properly represented the Country’s best Running Backs.  Noticeably absent was the name of ANY trojan, due to their stable of supposedly stellar Tailbacks.  That should be a prominent talking point for Rick Neuheisel, as he recruits the position next year.

Another anti-trojan recruiting “tool” was the premiere appearance of ex-trojan Brandon Hancock as a Channel 7 Sports Analyst.  He and his partner Rob Fukuzaki must have been really excited, because Rob said “play cock” instead of “play clock,” and then complimented Hancock’s notoriously-‘roided-out physique.  Hancock, the worst sportscaster this side of Papadakas, spent most of his on-air time ripping UCLA, and drooling over his fellow Fig Tech lab experiments, and drooling over his former employer, Pete Carroll.  There is a time and place for drooling…