Author: ucladavid
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DIRTY LAUNDRY
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Desperate Peter pulls a Siegfried & Roy, turning Zebras into (SCape)goats, but fails to WISK away Stain-ford, or SHOUT out ALL his rivals’ CHEERs over the turning TIDE It takes unmitigated gall to blame the fall of troy on bad officiating. Enter Pete Carroll. Carroll has apparently filed a formal complaint with the Pac-10…
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CRAZY ‘VICH
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“Yeah, you’re Crazy, ‘Vich, but your luck’s so good you’re on top of it…” — Ex-trojan and repeat-offender Todd Marijuanovich BUCKs the odds and lands a CHERRY Laguna Beach “sentence” after he pleads Guilty to Evading Police and Possession of a Syringe and methamphetamines “THE WICKED (SAND) ‘VICH OF THE…
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REGGIE SUED, REGGIE SUED, REGGIE REGGIE REGGIE REGGIE, REGGIE SUED
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It takes the cake that Lake the Flake will make or break “Mr. Quake, Shake, & Bake,” with a wake at stake, for Pete’s sake If it sounds too good to be true, that’s probably because it is. So don’t get your hopes up yet, but…REGGIE BUSH HAS FINALLY BEEN SUED, for…
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BELL’S HELL
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A familiar ring: Bruins will find out if Kahlil is irreplacea-BELL, as his suffering of a knee injury rings up his season, has Dorrell caught in the wringer, and has fans wringing their hands Go ahead and keep believing that injuries shouldn’t change a team’s overall performance. Bruin Starting Running Back Kahlil…
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EUGENE REPLACEMENT THERAPY
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The trojans NEED therapy, because there’s no Ducking the fact that they are no longer the Conference’s elite team after Oregon beats them, 24-17 Yeah, yeah, we saw the Bruin game too, but if you want to hear about that, go somewhere else, where they are more than happy to…
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You don’t HAVE to be full of it to be a usc Wide Receiver, but it doesn’t hurt
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Erik Affholter bolts from his Head Coaching job after being accused of running up the score, while alleged Steroid-abuser Johnnie Morton returns to sc and is welcomed back with open veins Even though usc’s Most Famous SCumbag was a Running Back, they also have a long and rich tradition of troubled Wide Receivers,…
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YIPPEE-KAI-YAY, MOTHER-F…
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A Rebus Puzzle for DIE HARD Bruin fans, celebrating (among other things) Alterraun Verner and Kai Forbath winning Player of the Week Awards It’s gotta be the most famous Movie Catchphrase of our time that you CAN’T say on TV, or print on a “family” web site, but we think that…
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SELF-COPYING PAGE JAMS UP TROY CANNON, AGAIN
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For the second year in a row, Bruin/Chief Jarrad Page snags a Game-Saving Interception against Al Davis’ Oakland trojans Al Davis and Lane Kiffin must be having recurring nightmares about UCLA Defensive Backs. The Owner of the Oakland Raiders and his new Head Coach are both former trojan football coaches, so they…
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#1, IN AN ALTERRAUN UNIVERSE
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Verner saves the Bruin World by taking his 2nd Pick of the day 76 yards for the game-winning TD; With their 30-21 upset of almost-#1 Cal, the Bruins know that they could be 7-0 and #1 in the Country, but will focus on staying atop the Pac-10 You’ve heard of “alter egos?” …
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RATTLE-SNAKES ON A PLANE
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Like babies with rattles, rattled trojans scream and panic when their plane hits some turbulence on the way to South Bend And you thought they had hit some turbulence ON THE FIELD! To live up to a #1 Preseason Ranking, it takes Courage, and sometimes Heroism. And now you know…
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IT’S PAT
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Cowan will start against Cal with Bethel-Thompson as his back-up, but he won’t have the protective Red Jersey on Saturday (more like a bullseye) Karl Dorrell made it Official yesterday: Pat Cowan has survived a couple of days of practice, and will therefore be the Starter on Saturday versus…
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DEJA VU FOR O.J. 2
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A day after O.J. #1 gets fingered by his pals, O.J. #2 gets ratted out by his teammate, for purposely breaking another teammate’s jaw. The stoolie also says sc executed a Media cover-up to keep it quiet Which b!tch got the itch to snitch? We’ll probably never know, but…