Author: ucladavid
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AFLACking for Nothing…
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… except #1 Billing (but they’re still pretty Duckin’ hot) Sometimes finishing second can be depressing. Just ask the Lakers. Before the season, the Lakers were expected to barely make the Playoffs, and then peter out again with an early exit. And that’s IF Kobe stayed and played. Then came the…
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BOSTON SUCKS (CHAMPAGNE)
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L.A. Phil-anthropists: Lakers generously donate Game 6 to un-taxed Celtics with 19 Turnovers (and it was written off at Halftime) De-cay on the Parquet. Just like Rocco Mediate, the Lakers missed the fairway on the most important shot. L.A. suddenly forgot how to take care of the ball, and how to…
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MBAH HUMBUG!
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Luc’s a Ghost (of Final Fours Past): Why in the Dickens would Mbah a Moute make his NBA Future his Present, when, without a guarantee, he could get Scrooged? Luc-haters got an early Christmas gift yesterday, when the player that they think is an instant turnover left his name in…
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CAPTAIN CRUNCHTIME
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With Farmar at the helm for the entire 4th Quarter, L.A. avoids another Titanic shipwreck and drydocks Boston’s parade floats Pierce and Posey’s Posse Party was pre-emptively put on hold for at least a couple of days, as the Lakers overcame another huge collapse to take Game 5 103-98, and send…
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CAPTAINS CRUNCH
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The Totals are in: Chex in the boxes of Paulsen and Harwell will have the two Life-time Wheaties-eaters milking the serial killer instinct out of the Bruins, to make opponents snap, crackle, & pop, and to turn trojan Fruit Loops into Shredded Wheat The 2008 UCLA Football team is off to a Smart Start, because…
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OLD-TIMERS SCOLD TIMES’ SIMERS
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With support of “Scully,” “Wooden” teaches T.J. Simers a thing or two about disrespect Even when T.J. Simers is doing something nice for charity, he still can make people hate him. Last night at the Nokia Theater in Downtown L.A., the L.A. Times Columnist T.J. Simers “moderated” a discussion with…
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FRIG-O-RAMA ON FIGUEROA
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Mayo/Fig. Tech probe deepens, like hole Lakers are in after blowing 24-point lead in Game 4 to go down to Celtics 1-3 in Finals (Virgin Territory for an eventual NBA Champ) Figueroa Constrictor — And the noose tightens… Usc and the Lakers have both just screwed themselves, because of complacency. Southern Cal is embroiled in a multi-agency…
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BLOCK HISTORY MONTH
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It’s a Block thing: To Immovable Object Jonathan Ogden, Retirement is an Irresistible Force, after personally pancaking “Left Tackle” into a big-money NFL glamour position The sun will come out, tomorrow… …because the guy who has been blocking out the Sun — and everything under the Sun — for the last…
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FLYING SASHA CONTAINS BELITTLED GREEN MEN
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The breathtaking Vu is out of this World: (Legal) Alien Sasha Vujacic floats in 20 and takes One Giant Shot for Laker-kind, Celtic Stars are Marooned, and Phil Jackson Phones Home to get NINE points from Bruins to win SIX-point Close Encounter of the Third Game with Brittle Green Men from…
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POWE SMOKERS
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Paulie & the Powe-boys lay down 31 dimes to take Credence from the Lakers’ Record Revival, and take a 2-0 choke-hold on Finals Too LA-git to quit. Sure, the Lakers lost Game 2 in Boston 108-102 to fall behind 0-2 in the Series… but it is the Lakers who carry momentum back to Los…
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FLY-BY OVER THE ‘HOOD
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It’s not ALWAYS about beautiful girls; Sometimes it’s about cool cars Despite what you’ve learned from years of Whitesnake videos, nice cars can look pretty good even WITHOUT a leggy supermodel stretched across the hood. And stretching across our ‘hood on Sunday was the GM Car Show, so we trucked…
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DA’ TARA’D AND FEATHERED
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Clowns bet down Big Brown in Triple Crown, but drown with frowns when Da’ Tara goes to town A horse walks into a Bar, and the Bartender says, “Why the long face?” Usually, that would be the whole joke, but today, there’s more — The long-faced horse is named Big…