Author: ucladavid
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“SHUNNING-RUNNING” CUNNING, GUNNING 4 STUNNING
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Not Funning –The last 3 Bruin games have turned out drastically different than I expected, and tonight it will take clever, creative coaching by Jim Mora and staff to break their losing streak to Stanford, thereby shocking me for the 4th time in a row After UCLA’s first two games…
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ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FORCED FIRES (BUT NOT IF YOU GO 3-2)
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Build a better souse trap — Trojans show no sympathy to disease-ridden Sarkisian, firing him on the very day he enters rehab for his alcoholism Sympathy from the Devils? Not quite. Just one day after expressing sorrow and concern for Head trojan Football Coach Steve Sarkisian, U$C Athletic Director Pat…
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LUSH HOUR 2
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Absolut Krusty — Just several weeks after drunkenly humiliating himself and his “school” at a rally, Clown College Coach Steve Sarkisian “allegedly” shows up drunk to practice, is escorted off campus, and forced to take an indefinite leave of absence from his beleaguered u$c Football team After the trojans’ embarrassing…
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sAArk’s 12-POINT PROGRAM
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Sarkiss him goodbye — u$c’s Offense is bottled up, dispensing only 12 points AT HOME against unranked, 17-point underdog Washington, in a 17-12 upset that plasters the loaded 3-2 trojans back out of the polls, as the talent at Sarkisian’s disposal remains un-tapped Someone must be hung over today… Is…
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GONE IN 60 MINUTES
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What a Drag — UCLA takes an offramp from the Freeway to the Playoffs, as the Offense sputters early, the Defense breaks down late, and the Special Teams idle throughout (except for Ka’imi Fairbairn’s career-long 53-yard Field Goal), leading to Arizona State pulling away 29-10 after three quarters, then surviving a…
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PURGIN’ TERRITORY
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There is a trap for that — As #7 UCLA gets ready to face 13-point underdog Arizona State and avoid a repeat of their surprise home “trap” loss to Utah last year, it’s time for me to post my last 100 shareable cheerleader photos from the BYU game Even if…
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BRUINS TREAT ‘CATS LIKE A MINNESOTA DENTIST
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No Lyin’ — Even without the “Mane” Pride of UCLA and King of the Jungle Myles Jack, the Bruins go to Arizona and lure the Wildcats out of their comfort zone, outscoring them 42-7 (after a first-drive U 0f A TD), on their way to a convincing 56-30 triumph, with…
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MYLES OF SCARS
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Lowered Expectations — Myles Jack injures his knee in practice and is out for the year. That makes the THREE BEST, most crucial Defensive Starters all lost for the season The news couldn’t be any more tragic without someone dying. The UCLA Bruins were devastated today by the news that…
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BACK-ISH
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Happy Returns –UCLA’s Ishmael Adams is re-instated; Meanwhile it’s a black week for u$c, which is in the news for some very dark reasons This past week, the Bruins’ Devin Fuller had some Kick Returns that helped UCLA achieve a miraculous victory over BYU. Fuller as a Returner is like…
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LOOKING DOWN ON THE CLOWNS
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Revolution #9 — For the moment, #9 UCLA can look down their noses at the Red-nosed Sarkisian and his Red-nosed Clown College trojans, who are the Nation’s Biggest Losers, dropping 13 spots to #19 after getting upset by an unranked Stanford squad; The Bruins also passed Florida State and Alabama…
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LEGS FOOL YOUNG
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Brigham Young is stunned by a double-digit 4th Quarter Comeback, achieved mostly on the legs of Paul Perkins and Nathan Starks (when the Cougars expected the Bruins to pass the ball to catch up), as #10 UCLA nips #19 BYU 24-23; Meanwhile, u$c loses to Stanford to go to 0-1…
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HEROINES REBORN
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The Next Generation — Everyone is impressed by the latest batch of Bruin Cheerleaders, whose superpowers include SUPER-SPEED (racing into our hearts faster than a speeding bullet), and SUPER-STRENGTH (lifting the spirits of 80,000 people at a time) As #10 UCLA gets ready to face off with #19 BYU at…