Author: ucladavid
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THE ARTEST FINALLY KNOWN AS PRINCE
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Party like it’s (the 3 years after) 1999: In the final minute, after the Suns had Corved down an 18-point lead to almost nothing, Ron Artest misses 2 shots and gifts 20 seconds to Phoenix, but his putback at the buzzer is When Suns Cry, and it makes him the…
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WHERE HOLLYWOOD MEETS PINE
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L.A. Stars out-performed by Phoenix Extras: The Suns’ Stand-Ins score 54 off the Pine to steal the scene from Kobe & Co., 115-106, as the Phoenix producers once again pre-empt the long-awaited Series Finale There was no Hollywood ending scripted for the Celebrity-backed Los Angeles Lakers on Tuesday Night. Despite…
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PILLS BURY DOUGHBOY
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D’oh! Rich and (apparently) Flaky ex-trojan Kevin Ellison gets POPPED for Cooking through a School Zone, and ROLLED for having 100 Vicodin 99 Vicodin pills in the car, 99 Vicodin pills. You take one today, the pain goes away, 98 Vicodin pills in the car. Wow. What’s it been —…
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WHAT DO FOX AND/OR THE SIMPSONS KNOW ABOUT O.J. SIMPSON U., THAT YOU DON’T?
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It makes sense that Fox Owner Rupert Murdoch — who did a cameo in this episode of “The Simpsons” last night — would have the inside scoop on the impending NCAA sanctions, but “NO TEAM at the Coliseum??” “Best Banner Ever.” Last night on “The Simpsons,” the writers pointed their…
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ROBIN GOOD AND HIS ‘MAR’E MAN
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Not ready to Bow out: Lopez and Stoudemire combine for 62, and a Forest-like Zone has Phoenix Robin from the Rich 17 times (including 10 Steals), as the Suns Tuck and run out of the Friar, 118-109; It Sherwood be nice to get more than 9-for-32 from Odom and the…
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BOSTON GOES COMMANDO ON ORLANDO
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Brief Series: Balls Out Boston lets it all hang out to blow off limp Orlando’s bloomers 94-71 and go up 3-0, as they jockey for a flashy sweep before giving L.A. another crack The Moon is setting on Orlando, and the end is near… No buts about it. The Boston…
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KOBE FARMS IT OUT
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Bryant outsources the Laker Offense with a Playoff career-high 13 Dimes, and his Technical Support Staff answers the call, as Gasol and Artest combine for 47 Points, and Farmar’s 4th quarter long-distance connections help put the Suns’ upset plans on hold, 124-112 Oh, Calcutta! The Lakers made it 8 in a…
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THE MAGIC HASSLE
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It’s Amazingly Blaine to see, that Orlando has Copped out and Doug a hole, but they aren’t Angels yet — They could still join the exclusive club of 3 teams who have survived a mauling, by pulling a Houdini after getting Lanced in Games 1 & 2 in their own Penn Is the Magic about to disappear? …
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LAKES SHAKE PHOENIX FOUNDATION
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The Suns shoulda Duct: Kobe “Don’t call me Angus” Bryant Jacks up 40 Points and L.O. gets his Grube back with 19 & 19, as L.A. Clips Nemesis Nash’s wings, and Explodes all over the Challenger’s Club, Dismantling them 128-107… But once you Mullet over (if you’re on the Dean’s…
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DIO OR NO DIO
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Dio-A: On a very Black Sabbath, Ronnie James Dio is reported dead, then alive, then dead, as The Man on the Sivler Mountain is now at Last In Line to Rock Heaven with a little Hell (or vice versa) “The ending is just a beginner…” The End came too soon yesterday, for…
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KING JAMES BYE-BYE
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False Idol Thumped: LeBron is not God, or even the Savior of Cleveland, as he dispels all that fiction by plaguing his own people with NINE Turnovers and thirteen bricks, Numbers that were the Genesis of the Cavs’ epic-fail Playoff Exodus 27 Points, NINETEEN Rebounds, and 10 Assists: A Triple-Double Royale for…
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BRIAN CUSHING: THE MARION BARRY OF FOOTBALL
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Cushing The Envelope, Please: Just like the former D.C. Mayor, the former sc player is re-awarded by voters, AFTER getting busted for drugs — Moral of the Story? Just Say Yes to Drugs The AP Voters are Absolutely Pathetic. The Associated Press Voters sent a pointed message to America’s Youth…