Author: ucladavid
-
PLEASE DON’T HIRE CARRIER… OF S.C.-LIOSIS
•
Neuheisel is reportedly considering ex-trojan Mark Carrier for Defensive Coordinator — What part of “Rivalry” doesn’t Rick understand? To borrow a line from “King of the Hill” — I’M TRYING TO STOP AN OUTBREAK, AND NEUHEISEL IS DRIVING THE MONKEY TO THE AIRPORT!!!!!! And in this case, the “monkey” is…
-
MARK SANCHEZ: THE SHERIFF OF SNOTTINGHAM
•
The Epickome of Trojan Class: Before getting wiped out of the Playoffs in Picksburgh, ex-trojan Mark Sanchez gets caught on TV picking his nose, and wiping the snot on his back-up, Mark Brunell It’s either Trojan Class, or it’s snot. Not since “Caddyshack” has there been a louder “snot heard ’round…
-
UCLA WINS, TROJANS LOSE, SC SPINS, STAFON SUES
•
The Blue & Gold beat the Cardinal; The Golden Bears beat the Cardinal & Gold; Haden & Co. beg for Mercy, and Johnson wants some reimburse-y Talk about “Connect Four”… Four things happened yesterday that might be of interest to fans of The Rivalry, starting with the Bruins stringing together their fourth…
-
ESCAPE CLAWS
•
Bears claw back from 15 down with 9 minutes left (and 14 down with 4 minutes left, and 8 down with 1 minute left) to tie game with 10 seconds left, but Nelson’s right claw tips in game-winner with 2 seconds left, as Bruins barely escape with grisly 86-84 victory…
-
‘SON GASSES AT KNIGHT
•
Shades of Hart — After UCLA falls down by 12, Jerime Anderson hits the gas, and he and Malcolm Lee smoke the Ducks in Matthew Knight Arena, 67-59 The difference between the usual Jerime Anderson, and the Jerime Anderson who played against Oregon, was Knight & Day. The NEW Jerime…
-
NO CIALIS IN CORVALLIS
•
Bruins start out solid, but dysfunction and go limp against the Beavers, before coming back big to squeeze out a 62-57 victory, with Smith and Jones rising to the occasion to make the money shots If UCLA’s effort ever lasts for the entire 40 minutes, call a Doctor. At first,…
-
LIVE AND LET DYER
•
Auburn survives the SPECTRE of defeat and Cam Newton’s mis-Q’s to snip Oregon 22-19 for the BCS Title, thanks to Michael Dyer’s 134 yards rushing and last-minute heroic stunt For those of you who hate Heisman Trophy winner Cam Newton, take heart — The suspected cheater and thief did more…
-
GOING TO “L” IN A H(OWL)ANDBASKET
•
“L” Foldo: Lazeric, Lee, Lamb and Lane are Lame, as UCLA Loses Lead, to Log their 4th “L” in a row against $C — It’s time for Howland to change his approach of downplaying the Rivalry At least Lazeric Jones has an excuse: He really was “lame,” with his mangled finger. But Malcolm Lee, Tyler…
-
UP THE DOWN STEROID
•
Hall of Justice: Admitted cheating trojan Mark McGwire, infamous for getting shots in his ass, gets a shot in the mouth from Hall of Fame voters, who deny his Induction by 348 votes, an even larger amount than last year Roberto Alomar — a guy who spit on an Umpire — got in, but lying,…
-
MAYO K.O.
•
Flakes on a Plane: Turbulent former trojan O.J. Mayo gets pummelled by a teammate, in flight, after refusing to pay off a gambling debt The first O.J. couldn’t fess up. Now the second one couldn’t PONY up? Once again, an ex-trojan named O.J. has proven that people who lack brains often resort…
-
HEART SURGIN’ CAN’T STOP NEW YEAR’S GRIEVE
•
Never-Say-Die crippled Bruins rally from 17 down to gain new life, but can’t stop ball from dropping for Huskies in 74-63 year-ending loss What a Massive End-of-Year Sail for the Washington Huskies — First the Dawgs BeatSC in Overtime on Wednesday night, then their Football team upsets heavily-favored Nebraska in the Holiday…
-
THE NEW HEART SHOW
•
After Dick-ing around through a long-running series of Cougar hits, the Bruins Bob and weave to Shrink an 11-point deficit, then Louden the Inn with Heart, Lee, and three (laying-the-) Woodsmen, in 80-71 victory [Note: Sorry for the typo — Of course it was 80-71, not 80-51… 51 was the…