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Archive for September, 2011

  • NO REMORSE FROM THE HORSE FORCE, OF COURSE

    Mr. Ed Orgeron and Long-faced Lane Kiffin jockey for position away from the Garza scandal, Matt “Pick 6” Barkley gets whipped but climbs back in the saddle by repeating his “Burfict is dirty” claim, and T.J. McDonald goes to great lengths to glorify his Trifecta of low-class Personal Fouls that could have left three players handicapped When […]

  • DOWN N’ DIRTY

    Southern Cal falls hard at ASU 43-22, thanks to 3 Matt Barkley Turnovers and 3 Personal Fouls by T.J. McDonald (and this is after Barkley had called a SUN DEVIL player “dirty?”) It used to be that when someone said “TJ is dirty,” they were talking about Tijuana.  Now, they’re probably referring to trojan “impact […]

  • BEATING BEAVERS = DAM-AGE CONTROL

    Bruins still give a dam — UCLA turns the tide, by stuffing Oregon State on two key 4th quarter 4th down attempts, to pelt the Beavs 27-19, go to 1-0 in Conference play, and temporarily close the floodgates on fan disgust UCLA and Rick Neuheisel have been drowning in fan discontent this year, and the only thing that […]

  • INCREASE YOUR LEVELS OF SARAH TONIN’

    Que Sar-ah Sar-ah — For a normal person fighting Depression, the cure can be more serotonin;  For a Bruin Football fan fighting Depression, I prescribe more Sarah tonin’ Say “rah.” When you’re down and troubled, and you need a helping hand… leave it to your friends on the UCLA Spirit Squad to cheer you up.  […]

  • MAYA SWEET LORD!

    Maya Space — Today I was accused of discrimination, for not taking pictures of Maya.  That’s just not true, but maybe I haven’t been posting enough lately, so here’s my Maya Culpa Hey, hey, Maya, My… Spirit Squad will never die… I like to think that I am a man of discriminating tastes, but I have never […]

  • 2 COUP 4 SCHOOL

    Cool, a coup —  UCLA Basketball goes to school on the Spirit Squad’s success, adding another phenom to the next class The UCLA Spirit Squad has perennially been the Nation’s Best for a long time now, because they never have to rebuild — they just reLOAD every year, with top-caliber ammunition.  Meanwhile, the UCLA Basketball team has […]

  • ON THE DAUGHTERFRONT

    We coulda been a contender — While the Sons of Westwood get Brando’d as bums with one-way tickets to Palookaville, the Daughters of Westwood are driving a Streetcar Named Desire The Guys and Dolls of UCLA are going in different directions.  It seems to be Apocalypse Now for the boys, as Rick “The Godfather” Neuheisel is on […]

  • GET THE HOOK!

    The “Hook ’em Horns” team makes Neuheisel bring the hook early (to pull Prince after 3 1st Quarter Interceptions), and stampedes to a 49-20 blowout (as Tommy Lasorda’s pep talk falls flat), prompting UCLA fans to call for another hook Welcome to the Neuheisel Farewell Tour. UCLA got pummelled by Texas on Saturday, 49-20, and […]

  • TEX’S AND OHHHHH’S

    Horns and Plenty — Come to the Texas game, where the UCLA players will show their heart, and the Bruin Cheerleaders will steal yours This Saturday at 12:30pm, the #23 Longhorns, deep from the heart of Texas, will stampede through the heart of Pasadena, to battle the UCLA Bruins in a game between two underperforming teams looking to show who […]

  • DON’T THROW OUT THE BABES WITH THE BATHWATER

    Jilt by association — Disgruntled Bruin fans think that Neuheisel and the contents of his Passion Bucket are circling the drain, but the idea that the overflowing quality of the UCLA Spirit Squad is also drying up just doesn’t hold water Even after a win, the dissenting voices are the loudest.  UCLA is coming off a 27-17 win over San Jose […]

  • SPARTAN (GAME) IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

    To Be or Not To Be — Neuheisel barely avoids the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, as Bruins’ Shaky 27-17 victory over lowly San Jose St. brings more fears than cheers Friends, Bruins, Countrymen, lend me your ears… It didn’t take a legendary Bard to realize that when San Jose had the ball in the […]

  • COMFORTABLY ‘NUM

    Money — Houston’s Case Keenum puts Cougars in the Pink, cutting up the UCLA Defense into little pieces;  Bruins come back from 17 down, but don’t have Time to get over The Wall, in 38-34 season-opening loss All in all, it’s just another brick in the wall, that faces Rick Neuheisel in his attempt to save […]

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