TROJANS HIT THE HEAD

After stalling for a while, usc finally cans Mike Garrett, whose cocky stance flushed his Title and his trojans down the troylet;  sc will try to wipe away the stain by pinching Pat Haden from the booth to take the throne

Even the City Dump has Trash Day.  For the cesspool commonly known as usc, they will be taking out the trash on August 3rd, when Figueroa Tech Athletic Director of 17 years Mike Garrett will “retire” (ala Helen Thomas and maybe Mel Gibson).  Garrett, of course, was in charge of overseeing usc’s Sports Programs, while they became a haven for violent criminals, rule-breaking Agents, scrotum-shrinking Steroids, and illegal inducements including blatant cash payoffs in broad daylight, AND houses, cars, and trips, for a Showcase that would make Bob Barker blush.  And by the way, Barker doesn’t endorse usc’s alleged Steroid Abuse, despite being a big believer in neutering mangy mongrels.

Most people believed that Garrett’s days had been numbered ever since the NCAA Sanctions came down.  The only surprise is how long it took.  Some people believe that the final nail in Garrett’s coffin was his absurd and childish diatribe after the Sanctions were announced, about how the NCAA was just jealous of usc.  Doubtful, because the new President-elect was going to clean house regardless of Garrett’s laughable smugness in the face of the indictment.  Some other people believe that they got rid of him now, to hopefully curry favor with the NCAA as they consider sc’s Appeal.  But if that really was the reason, it would be indicative of sheer trojan ignorance:  The NCAA is not allowed to consider any “new evidence” as it ponders the Appeal — They can act only based on what happened prior to the end of the investigation.

A more likely explanation is that Garrett was always a dead man walking, and it just took a month to find a replacement who will LOOK clean, but who was really raised by wolves.  On August 3rd, former trojan QB Pat Haden will take over for Garrett.  Haden, a TV announcer for sc-Rival Notre Dame (Traitor!) ,was the Quarterback for Troy during the 70’s, when the sc Coaches and alums were running rampant, breaking NCAA rules and showering the players with luxuries, like room and board in Beverly Hills mansions.  Haden may be a Rhodes Scholar, but he learned how to be a trojan from Head Coach John McKay.  Haden’s favorite target was J.K. McKay, the Coach’s Son, who will probably be Haden’s right-hand man in Heritage Hall.  When they were attending usc, the trojans were at the height of their arrogance, and just because the new President-elect and Haden are claiming to be dedicated to a New Era of Compliance, don’t swallow it.  Don’t forget:  Haden was a key figure on sc’s Board of Trustees DURING Bushgate, Mayogate, and all the other sordid affairs, and never did a thing to change the culture of cheating.

In his initial phone-in interview with ESPN, Haden slipped up not once but TWICE, while trying to put up a facade of caring about Ethics.  First, he tried to buy some sympathy for embattled Coach Lane Kiffin, by saying what a tough task lies ahead of him.  True, but Haden then implied that the REASON it would be tough is the 4-year Probation.  Now think about that:  Why would being on Probation make things difficult, unless you usually RELIED on violating the rules?  Probation would not affect a Recruit’s decision to attend, and it would not affect the performance of the players or coaches.  All it does is provide for more severe penalties, IF THEY ARE CAUGHT CHEATING AGAIN!!  So basically, Haden is stating that having the deterrent of more severe penalties for cheating will make it hard on Kiffin, which is the same as admitting that sc needs to cheat to compete.

If you really feel the need to give Haden the benefit of the doubt, then you could say that he MEANT that the SANCTIONS — not the Probation — would make it hard.  And of course, that is true… IF that’s what he meant to say.  But given another chance to prove his sincerity and integrity, he put his foot in his Rhodes Scholar-mouth AGAIN.  He was asked if graduation rates and total compliance would make him happy, regardless of what happens on the field.  Haden couldn’t even bring himself to pretend like he or anyone else besides the President-elect cares nearly as much about education as about winning.  He stammered for a second, then said something akin to:  Let’s be honest — You HAVE to WIN at a place like this to survive.

SO — Don’t expect the trojans to suddenly turn over a new leaf.  Despite their claims of adding staff to their joke of a Compliance Department, nothing is going to change in South Central, except how sneaky they will be when they cheat.  The trojan Torch of Arrogance will still be held high.  Haden said that he has succeeded at everything he has ever done.  Really? 

What an obnoxious. lying SCumbag.  He obviously doesn’t remember sucking as the QB for the Rams.  Nice selective memory, which must have come in handy as he gratuitously PRAISED Garrett (while Garrett is trying to make sure the doorknob doesn’t hit him in the ass while he’s leaving).  He talked about what a great Program Garrett oversaw for 17 years, and what a terrific legacy Garrett has left behind.  Nothing about tarnishing the entire University with their blatant and intentional Lack of Institutional Control.

But then Haden goes on to talk about waking up with Compliance for breakfast, and going to bed with Compliance at the end of the night (or some cutesy homily like that).  Obviously, he is signaling a huge CHANGE in sc’s modus operandi, but he refused to hold the Head Guy responsible.  Maybe he is hoping for his successor to extend him the same courtesy a few years down the line.

Another supposedly big part of this story is that usc announced that they will be taking down their murals of Reggie Bush and O.J. Mayo, and giving back Heritage Hall’s “school copy” of Bush’s Heisman.  Haden said that he was not in on the decision, but that he agrees with it completely.  This is NOT a big story, nor a revelation.  The NCAA punishment included the edict that sc had to completely sever ties with Bush and Mayo, and that includes taking down any tributes, trophies, or commemorative jerseys.  Of course Haden “agrees” — He has NO CHOICE!!   Reggie Bush and O.J. Mayo can’t even roam the sidelines with all their Agent buddies.  But don’t worry:  O.J. Simpson still can, and HIS jersey will still be displayed proudly at the Coliseum.  The trojans think that they are being anti-authority and cool by still worshipping him, but really, they are just cementing the connection between their institution and a vicious double-murderer, and they are confirming the fact that to sc fans, Simpson’s gridiron exploits outweigh his taking of two innocent human lives.

Apparently, a school can get a duplicate Heisman Trophy when one of their “student-athletes” wins one.  So big deal:  They have been forced to give that one up, and they are complying.  But excuse me for not celebrating this development, and for not making it the thrust of this article — I will wait until Bush has to give the ORIGINAL back, and that will probably never happen.   At least Pete Carroll’s Book Signings this week were total failures.