Pom Pom Peter will NOT have to fall on his sword

Over a Barrel?  Pete “under oath” would be more fun than a Barrel of Clemens, SO, usc will make sure that there’ll never be a trial (and McNair’ll be a lucky dog)

A trial date has been set for the Bushgate Lawsuit, with Pete Carroll and Todd McNair both expected to be called as witnesses, but don’t hold your breath.

In addition to selecting March 13, 2009 as the trial date, the Judge also ordered the parties to attend a settlement conference, and that is when the bubble is going to burst for people still hoping for the walls to come crashing down on usc.

The Lloyd Lake team has apparently given up trying to pressure Reggie Bush into a cash settlement, so now they are targeting rich trojan alumni.  By announcing their intentions to call Head Coach Pete Carroll to the witness stand — along with Carroll’s dog-neglecting Assistant Coach Todd McNair — it looks like they want to turn the pressure on usc. 

If McNair reveals information proving that he and the staff were fully aware of Bush’s extra benefits, like the monthly cash payments from Lake and the tricked-out Impala, the usc Football Program could be facing sweeping renunciations and penalties.  And if Carroll himself takes the oath and then proceeds to perjure himself, or better yet, tell the truth about all the wrongdoing that he’s been privy to during his tenure, the damage to the Program will take YEARS to repair.

So here’s what’s going to transpire (or should we say “CONspire?”):

Some multi-millionaire trojan like the Pubic Storage guy, who likes his horses to defecate on soil from UCLA’s Football Field, will pull some strings, and filter some money — petty cash for him — to Lake , so that the case can be dropped, and announced as a “settlement.”  The transcripts and details will be sealed, and all the participants will be under a gag order after signing confidentiality agreements that is so IRON-CLAD, that even Robert Downey jr. will be envious.

Lake will get some cash, usc will come out completely unscathed, and Bush will get a free ride.  Bush — just like O.J. — said that he’d never pay a dime.  Assuring this nightmarish outcome was the Judges’ decision that the Trial transcripts would NOT be kept confidential.  But that shouldn’t keep the settlement details from staying private — all the more resaon that usc MUST avoid trial, at all costs.

What could have been the most entertaining trial since The Trial of the Century will never take place, depriving the World of an Insider’s View into the inner workings of Troy.  And it would have been a no-holds-barred trial:  Felon Lake versus Thug Bush, whose posse’s gunmen have now been banned from the courtroom, by a Judge who said that they should “knock a few heads around” to get some deposition dates set.  It would have been great to have a Judge who understands the criminally-violent mentality, but it’s not certain which side it would have helped more.

And speaking of the criminal mentality, O.J. Simpson owes California $1,527,925.92 in delinquent Taxes.  Maybe instead of a giant Tribute Jersey at the Coliseum, the trOJans should stick a giant Collection Plate up there.

And finally, speaking of Collection Plates, if ex-trojan Tight End Fred Davis doesn’t get his ship together, he may be passing around a Collection Plate of his own.  On only his THIRD DAY as a Pro, he was a “no-call, no-show” to the Washington Redskins’ Practice, and the panicked team sent out a Search Party to go find him.  Did they think that he had overdosed on Xtasy?  What exactly do they think goes on at usc, and why would they draft someone like that?  When the Search Party landed, they found Davis, who had absolutely no excuse.

Skins’ Head Coach Jim Zorn — Yes, the same one that you guys my age remember from the awesome Zorn-to-Largent connection — said that sometimes these things just happen unavoidably, and sometimes, it’s purely the player screwing up, and this was one of those cases where the player screwed up.  It might take only 3 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, but now we know that it takes only 3 days for a trojan to show his true colors to his new employers.

  The charismatic Carroll would have the Jury women showing up in bikinis.

Carroll brings ‘em out, and packs ‘em in.

In Pete We Trust

As her Tootsie Pops out of the water, she’s thinking that Petey’s no sucker.



  1. MICHAEL Avatar

    How did I know this was going to happen? Of course suc will find a way to squirm out of the situation…they’ve done it for years now so why should this change. What I don’t understand is how the NCAA will allow the case to be settled and not go into their own investigation. I think it’s pretty obvious that if Lake shuts up then he was obviously offered money in order to do so. Why would anyone involved with the case pay Lake to shut up if the Bush family wasn’t guilty of accepting cash?

    Do you think theres anything we can do as trojan-haters to make the NCAA react to the outcome of the case?

  2. UCLADal Avatar

    “I didn’t do anything wrong.” reggie bush

  3. Josephine Bruin Avatar
    Josephine Bruin

    3 licks – 3 days! lol!

  4. Gil Avatar

    Good ol’ reliable SC.

    Speaking of which… the NCAA revealed the schools to receive sanctions next year in athletics. Obviously, UCLA is not on this list, but guess who’s on the Basketball Sanctions list…

    OJ Mayo must not have been doing his homework…

    [T-H’s Note: Those penalties were absorbed during the past season, and were caused by Nick Young, Gabe Pruitt, and Loderick Stewart. If OJ Mayo and Davon Jefferson blow off their classes now, there will be additional penalties, on top of what has already been handed down.]