Dedicated to the HATRED of all things trOJan


On the hundredth anniversary of u$c getting the name “Trojans,” we are reminded that the man who came up with it was a murderer

Before Los Angeles Times Writer Owen Bird went to Jail for shooting a guy in the face and killing him, he did something almost as bad:  He annointed the University of Southern California as “the Trojans.”  100 years ago today, he was the first to use that moniker.  It was in an L.A. Times article about a Track Meet, supplanting previous nicknames like “Methodists” and “Tirebiters,” and starting a sprint, to the school becoming a shrine to thuggery, drug abuse, cheating, rule-breaking, general criminality, and of course, murder.

Apparently, he chose the name from the LOSERS of the World’s most famous battle, because sc was a perennial Underdog in those days.  In other words, they LOST so much, that he named them after the World’s Biggest Losers.  And soon after this momentous occasion, he became a World Class Loser himself, by committing the World’s Worst Crime — Killing another human being.  And it wasn’t just some random dude — It was his BEST FRIEND.

Bird shot him 3 times, including once in the face, just because he saw the guy CONVERSING with Bird’s Wife.  NOT FORNICATING, just conversing.  I think we now know why O.J. Simpson decided to become a trojan. And just like Simpson, Bird didn’t go to Jail for Murder, technically — For Bird, the charge ended up as Manslaughter (while Simpson ended up in Prison for Kidnapping).  But the bottom line is that a KILLER named u$c the Trojans, and a Killer was their most famous player ever.  And for the 100 years that they have BEEN the Trojans, their history has been rife with criminals, thugs, and rule-breakers like Rey Maualuga, Todd Marinovich, Mark McGwire, Darrell Russell, Winston Justice, Junior Seau, Reggie Bush, and O.J. Mayo, not to mention non-athletes like William French Anderson (the u$c Professor/Child Molester).  And the beat goes on — Did you see the photo of the most recent infamous Child Molester — That teacher who force-fed spoonfuls of his own sperm to a slew of 8-year olds — proudly wearing a USC Trojans Football t-shirt?

Owen Bird never made a dime off his coming up with the trojan name, and after his jail term, his life spiraled downward into one of shame and disgrace, with his one dubious “contribution” to society now forever linked to O.J. Simpson and the Crime of the Century.  Talk about “foreshadowing.”  They should have stuck with “Methodists.”  At least it had “Meth” in it.

"THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING" was published on February 24th, 2012 and is listed in News from the Dark Side.

Comments on "THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING": 4 Comments

  1. Barnes2Stokes wrote,

    I don’t know why and its probably a bit unfair, but no grown man should have the middle name of “French.” Just doesn’t sound right.

  2. UCLADal wrote,

    I saw the article too and I cracked up!! “The Spirit Of Troy!”

  3. dswenson wrote,

    He should have come up with the name “Losers”.

  4. JosephineBruin wrote,

    beautiful, just beautiful writing as always. thanks you beat $c!

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