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STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE, KIFFIN! [Article updated]

Alternate Headline, just by moving the comma:  “Stay in your own, Lane Kiffin.”  (That’s a reference to the rumor that Lane is delving into treasures other than his wife Layla.)

Before speeding off to sc, an ASLEEP-AT-THE-WHEEL Lane Kiffin TOTALED a Lexus, then fled the scene on foot before a DUI could be administered;  Insurance paid for the damage, but no Police Report can be located now

The rumors started just DAYS after Lane Kiffin screwed over Tennessee:  While in Knoxville, Kiffin ALLEGEDLY had a special love nest set up for getting drunk and nasty… not with his wife Layla, but with Volunteer co-eds.  And Kiffin  ALLEGEDLY had a car accident — with some of those co-eds in the car — because he passed out while driving.  And then the Tennessee Athletic Department ALLEGEDLY perpetrated a cover-up to protect their Coach.  And finally, a team of TMZ parasites ALLEGEDLY descended on Knoxville to investigate the cover-up.

Of course most people thought that the rumors were just sour grape-concoctions by disgruntled Tennessee fans.  But now it has finally come to light that there ABSOLUTELY WAS a car accident, and Kiffin now admits (to ESPN) that he was driving and “fell asleep.”

So if THOSE TWO parts of the rumor are true, maybe ALL of it is??

The accident happened in the early hours of the morning, on an “unspecified date.”  Kiffin said that he had been at a late-night meeting at the Athletic Department.  Sound fishy?  Well, he DOES have a witness that places him in the Athletic Department around Midnight, but that still — ACCORDING TO ESPN — leaves him unaccounted for, for a few hours.  Plenty of time to have met up with some student-hostesses at the love shack.  And if he had girls other than his wife in the car at the time of the accident, that would have given him a good reason to flee the scene like he did, even if he wasn’t drunk and trying to avoid a Breath-a-lyzer.

But HERE’S where it gets interesting:  Kiffin did not have to pay for the totaled Lexus.  It was leased for him from a local dealership, who took the car back, and the bill was paid by Insurance.  But there is no Police Report.  Would an Insurance Company pay out for a new Lexus, without a Police Report?  And is it LEGAL in Tennessee to leave the scene of a major accident?  And is it legal to crash and total a car, and NOT file a report with authorities?  One responsder to the ESPN article said that in HIS State, not filing a report is a Felony, punishable by ONE YEAR IN JAIL.  Can you imagine if the Head Football Coach at usc is swept off to a Tennessee Jail for a year??  I can just see his Dad on the trojan sidelines during a game, tapping on his headset, wondering why his son isn’t broadcasting… And then we CUT to the Prison, where Lane is lamenting:  “What we’ve got here, is, FAILURE to communicate.” 

And speaking of failure to communicate, usc says now that they and Kiffin will have NO COMMENT about the accident.  They claim that he has already dealt with the Media about it when it happened.  usc must know that there are still a lot of unanswered questions, and they don’t want them answered.  Fine.  Let’s see what TMZ can find out, from a harem of loose-lipped co-eds.

And speaking of loose lips, newly designated SCumbag Supreme Michael Cooper reportedly APOLOGIZED to Bruin Coach Nikki Caldwell, for saying “F*ck UCLA” at the beginning of his Press Conference on Sunday.  Hopefully, someone will make public the contents of that apology, and hopefully, the apology won’t protect Cooper from the punishment that he so richly deserves.  Will Mike Garrett even acknowledge that Cooper f*cked up?  Doubtful…  Garrett is more likely to reprimand him for apologizing.

***UPDATE*** — Here is the apology: 

“I want to offer my sincerest apology to you, your players and your university for the inappropriate comment I made after our game on Sunday,” Cooper wrote. “There is no excuse for it, and I realize it is outside the bounds of good sportsmanship.

“As a coach, I know I am a role model to student-athletes and my comment was certainly not a proper example for them. I will work hard to correct that.

“I realize how poorly my remarks reflect on me, my university as well as our conference. For that, I am truly sorry. I have great respect for all our opponents and especially UCLA as our crosstown rival. I wish you and your UCLA team the best of luck this season and look forward to our next game.”

[T-H’s Note:  Apology NOT accepted.]

"STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE, KIFFIN! [Article updated]" was published on January 20th, 2010 and is listed in News from the Dark Side.

Comments on "STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE, KIFFIN! [Article updated]": 4 Comments

  1. SCopper wrote,

    “A harem of loose-lipped co-eds.”

    Ha ha ha. Loose-lipped in more ways than one, wouldn’t you say? 😉

    I’m sorry. I had to say it. If you want to delete my post, no problems.

  2. SVCA to SCMO wrote,

    I notice that the sc women’s basketball team plays at Pauley on 2/13. But don’t boo Cooper, it sounds like “Coop” too much. Think of something else…

  3. Robert C. wrote,

    F**k Michael Cooper, that Piece of s**t.

  4. tswenson wrote,

    Another piece of trash at trashy $c. $c seems to get a lot of trashy people there – and they are the coaches. What a disgusting place.

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