SIMIONE TO LOVE

Someone call Sports Illustrated — U$C Linebacker Simione Vehikite is arrested on FOUR FELONY charges:  Drunk driving, causing injury while drunk driving, leaving the scene of an injury accident, and identity theft (it’s a Superfecta!)

Where’s George Dohrmann when a REAL story comes up?  Forget smoking a little grass and peacefully attending a college party — Let’s talk about getting drunk, getting behind the wheel, crashing and injuring someone, and let’s tack on Identity Theft just for good measure.  Where’s the outrage?  Where’s the coverage?  This arrest happened last month, and it isn’t until today that the L.A. Times finally reports it… BURIED at the end of an article about Football practice in the “Quick Hits” afterthough/miscellania section.

It was back in July of last year when trojan Linebacker Simione Vehikite brought all this trouble on himself.  When I saw this guy’s name, I thought the story may be a hoax, planted by Bruins.  After all, his first name comes a little too close to “simian,” as in “the brain power of a chimp,” and his last name is a combination of “vehicle” and “high as a kite.”  Could this be for real?

First he gets drunk, then he drives drunk, perhaps takes a turn, and allegedly hits someone causing bodily injury.  That scenario is pretty bad all by itself.  But then it takes a turn for the worse when he inexcusably FLEES the scene of the accident, despite his victim potentially bleeding out?  And then the situation takes a turn for the bizarre, when he adds Identity Theft to the mix.  My guess:  He switched ID’s with someone to try to avoid being identified as a member of the usc football team, and/or avoid getting caught altogether?

Usc is under probation for their slew of NCAA violations, and now this incident is mysteriously swept under the rug.  Did the trojan athletic department have anything to do with that?  Is this another example of lack of institutional control?  Are the inmates still running the asylum?  Has nothing changed at usc?  Is it still a culture of “We own the Police,” and “We are above the law?”  Vehikite has been removed from all team activities for the time being, and it wouldn’t surprise me if they kick him off the team, but only because he isn’t a starter.  If it were Barkley, the payoffs would rival the GM bailout, and he’d be back on the practice field already, as if nothing ever happened.

Don’t hold your breath waiting for the National magazine expose:  “Not the U$C Way,” because getting wasted, breaking laws, injuring people, and trying to skate ARE the u$c way.