NOT READY FOR “NOT READY FOR PRIMETIME PLAYERS”

Kevin (Nealon) Craft; Norm (McDonald) Chow; Chris (Farley) Forcier; Osaar(ah Silverman) Rasshan  

LIVE, FROM NEU-CHOW, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT! (Lite)  — ForLORN(E) and injured QB Blues Brothers (It’s Pat and Killer B) know it’ll be CURTINs  for the NEWMAN being CHASEd by DeWayne’s World Land Sharks

Do you like Defensive struggles?  If not, it’s going to be a struggle to be at the Rose Bowl on Saturday Night, when the UCLA Bruins face the UCLA Bruins in the Spring Football-ending Scrimmage.  With newly-injured 1st and 2nd-String Quarterbacks Pat Cowan and Ben Olson doubtful to participate, DeWayne Walker’s Defensive Unit is expected to dominate the Night.

In practice on Thursday, Pat Cowan’s bad knee, and a “pop” heard by Ben Olson from his foot, led to the other three Quarterbacks vying for playing time with the First Team offense.  Kevin Craft is currently in the lead, followed by Chris Forcier and then Osaar Rasshan.  Rasshan — the 5th Stringer — was quoted the day before yesterday as saying that he is NOT interested in switching positions any more, and that he would eventually start again as the Bruin QB.  His words look much less wacky after 48 hours and two injuries.

The well-documented struggles of the Offensive Line in the Spring ultimately led to Cowan getting the Starting nod over the less-mobile Olson.  And because of the still-developing O-Line, even with Cowan at the helm, the Offense wasn’t expected to light up the Rose Bowl scoreboard this weekend.  But NOW, Rasshan will once again be the most electrifying player on the Practice Field.  Since missed assignments lead to broken plays, Rasshan – assuming that he gets a chance to play, behind Craft and Forcier — will really be in his element.  Also, the Defense hasn’t seen too much of the Scrambler ’til this point, so they won’t be well-versed in adjusting on-the-fly to his creative improvisations.

Too bad those improv dashes don’t compensate for an inaccurate throwing arm, and a lack of sound decision-making.  Of course, with Norm Chow and a simplified system in place, Osaar could improve markedly, in a hurry.  ATTENTION:  We are NOT blaming the previous regime for Osaar’s lack of production.  In fact, we think it’s quite noticeable that all the KD-haters who were constantly holding Karl accountable for the injuries that his team sustained are NOT putting that same blame anywhere near the Neu Man.  We’re not saying that the Head Coach SHOULD be called out for injuries — They shouldn’t.  But last year, they were.  If a makeshift, rag-tag band of 2nd and 3rd-String Bruins scrape together an under-.500 season this year, will a knee-jerk venom start getting spewed again?  We just wish that all Bruin venom were directed across town.

Below are 13 more photos, of “2nd-string” QB’s, and “2nd-String” Spirit Squad pics (just proving that the Bruins’ Talent runs Deep).

 “Hey Ben — Can you point out the Starter?”    

Those two may spend a lot of time this year learning the craft… BY WATCHING CRAFT.

You have to be Crafty if you want to be the Big Cheese (or the Mac Daddy).

Forcier could get the gig just by being “The Last Man Standing.”

Every breath you take, every move you make, Norm will be watching you.

Hey Kevin — Is it IN you?

Why is everyone checking their knees?  Is there an epidemic?  Is the answer on a knee-to-know basis?

When getting “posterized” is a good thing.

Extra Kristin, glowing Ember.

Poor, lonely “3rd Wheel” Bri, who obviously couldn’t get a date to the Prom. (Yeah, right.)

Let’s here it for all the guys working hard on Staff Maintenance.

Get your stinking hands off her, you damned dirty ape!  (C.H. — RIP)

“South Beach” shirt, but “North Beach” guy?  Or a young Howie Mandel?  Squeal, or no squeal?