What’s Happenin’ Now?  Go to sc to be verbally abused;  Go to UCLA for warm fuzzies.  [If Urkel knows Football]

NOW PLAYING (at the Neu-art Theater, Rated NC-17 for language):  Wannabe trojans getting cursed out by Pete Carroll’s viral son;
  COMING SOON (to UCLA, Rated RD-R-R for getting the last laugh):  A Blockbuster Cast of Star Recruits from the A List who don’t want to be treated like Extras

Is it really “negative recruiting” if you just tell a kid to watch YouTube?  If usc wants to run their Program like amateurs, and advertise it on the Internet, what’s the big deal about telling Recruits to check it out?  Don’t the trojans want the exposure?

If you have no idea what we’re talking about:  The latest nervous trojan jab at UCLA Head Coach Rick Neuheisel is over a viral video that’s all over YouTube right now.  The video is from usc, and it shows Pete Carroll’s son, an Assistant named Brennan, berating a bunch of hopeful Walk-Ons with assorted expletives as he runs them through their drills.

And the whine about Neuheisel is that he is directing Recruits to this video, so that they will see how sc treats their student-athletes, and perhaps form the opinion that the Carrolls – Papa Pete is seen enjoying the hazing — are arrogant pr!cks.

This complaint is absurd.  Whether Neuheisel does it or not, some little video of an Assistant Coach who thinks he’s Lou Gossett in “American Gigolo” isn’t going to suddenly make an sc lean change his mind.  The consensus is that all Coaches use some sort of negative recruiting, but pointing out this video hardly qualifies.  Perhaps if Neuheisel edited in some re-created footage of O.J. murdering Ron and Nicole, then had a smash cut to a line of trojans purchasing O.J. jerseys at Official usc vending stands, and then finished up with a slow zoom-in on the giant O.J. jersey hanging proudly in the Coliseum — Now THAT would be some Emmy Award-winning Negative Recruiting.

That was one of THREE different stories which Bruins should find intriguing, but shouldn’t really celebrate, until the final results are tallied.  In Basketball, highly-regarded 6′ 10″ High School Center  J’Mison Morgan is reportedly backing out of his commitment to LSU and coming to UCLA instead.  Before you call him a Tiger Traitor, LSU had a Coaching change which heavily influenced Morgan’s apparent decision to leave. 

Supposedly, new Coach Trent Johnson, from Stanford, didn’t push the right buttons with Morgan.  J’Mison reportedly said that “it’s a better fit at UCLA,” where he could conceivably be a Starting Center in the Final Four come this April.  All reports are consistent, but we still think it would be premature to start celebrating until the ink is dry, especially seeing that this kid has already shown that he’s not afraid to change his mind.

And in another story that seems like it should be celebrated here, usc made “the list” of schools whose Graduation Rate for athletes were below minimum standards, causing the trojans to be docked two Basketball scholarships.  This is the third time in four years that the trojans fell below the line of acceptability, thereby silencing all the troy faithful who like to claim that their academic reputation (for athletes who don’t go to class) is not completely EARNED.  Apparently, the main culprits this time were Basketballers Loderick Stewart, Gabe Pruitt, and Nick Young.

However, once again, we refuse to pop any champagne over this news.  First of all, the trojans already absorbed the penalties LAST season, when they had a slew of Walk-Ons anyway.  Secondly, if Davon Jefferson and O.J. Mayo continue to attend classes, sc will be in good shape for next year.  And finally, with UCLA now attracting all the One and Done McDonald’s All-Americans, and having people transfer when faced with World Class competition, the Bruins’ Graduation Rates are bound to suffer.  It doesn’t make too much sense to gloat about sc’s poor score, when the Bruins’ might be equally as bad, in the very near future (even though the Bruins’ explanation isn’t sleazy).


And now, a shocker:

We almost never get POLITICAL around here.  It is fairly obvious that we lean more liberal than conservative, just based on our non-prude sense of humor, not to mention our disdain for Organized Religion.  But as of 5 minutes ago, we now have a dog in this 2008 Fight… but we’re not sure who it is yet.  All we can say for sure is…

We urge you now with all urgency:  VOTE AGAINST JOHN MCCAIN!!!!!!

Why?  Because his wife is a… very…proud…trojan!!!!!!

This is probably very, very old news to those of you who follow the depressing world of Politics, but we JUST FOUND OUT, on a late night rerun of the Tonight Show.  Cindy McCain came out in a bright mustard-yellow outfit, and practically the first thing out of her heavily made up mouth was that she went to the University of Southern California (not just “usc”).   And then she proudly proclaimed:  “I’m a trojan!!!”

Is she really that out of touch that she thinks saying that makes her look GOOD to the majority of viewers/voters?  Isn’t it her HUSBAND who’s been AARP-eligible for 20 years?  Most people now think that she probably BOUGHT her diploma just like the Wal-Mart Heiress, and that she’s probably artificially enhanced with plastic, botox, collagen, and whatever else is the latest Beverly Hills cosmetic health craze these days.

And anyone who understands what sc is all about has to realize that Cindy McCain doesn’t care about education, and is more interested in money, status symbols and image.  We used to like Al Gore, but the worst thing about him was his wife Tipper (and her anti-Rock and Roll mentality).  Well, we didn’t really have a major, deal-breaking complaint about McCain (besides the obvious two — age and affiliation), so the worst thing about McCain now, just like Gore, is his arrogant Wife.

Once a lying SCum, always a lying SCum?  Cindy said that she blatantly lied to McCain about her age, adding four years to make the gap seem smaller.  But she wasn’t the only one who was full of it — John SUBTRACTED four years from HIS age.  So they were both lying by four, and they didn’t find out until they applied for their Marriage License.  So not only did they both lie, but they were good at it, sustaining the charade for quite a long time.  Either that, or they were naive and gullible dupes, not being able to detect a lie, even when confronted with it point blank day after day.  For a President, that would be worse than being a good liar.  Sometimes, you have to tell people what they want to hear, just to get things done.  But if you are easily fooled, that is not going to help the Country.

Unfortunately for John, the age thing wasn’t his Wife’s biggest lie to him.  The Grand Deception occurred when she lied to everyone about BEING AN ADDICT.  Yes, the woman who had the strength of mind to choose a Ritzy (in cost) University with a Trade Tech curriculum in a Bail Bonds neighborood, was also severely addicted to painkillers.  But just ask O.J., or Todd Marinovich, or Darrell Russell, or Cole Ford, or Dwayne Jarrett:  It might have the initials “S.C.” also, but they don’t have classes in “Self-Control” at usc.

In summary:  Before you vote, you need to consider just how huge of a trojan honk she is — Do you want to see the White House festooned in Cardinal and Gold streamers after her Husband pardons O.J. and Pete Carroll, and invites the Football team to move in permanently?  That’s exactly how she came off — Like the kind of shallow trojan soccer mom/alum who never uses the turn signal on her BMW on the way to Nordstroms, and who will interrupt a State of the Union Address by waving a ketchup and mustard foam finger, and touting how tall, dark, and handsome Mark Sanchez is (like Georgia Frontiere talking about Joe Namath, Dante Pastorini, Vince Ferragamo, Bert Jones, and Deiter Brock [but not Pat Haden]).

Vote Democrat!!!!  Just to keep the White House out of enemy hands. 

P.S.  If Barack or Hillary have trojan ties, NOW is the time to inform us.  Meanwhile, please enjoy these 7 captioned photos of the UCLA Dance Team from the Spring Scrimmage pregame rally at the “Pose Bowl.”

Is Kristin looking for the hit n’ run artist who gave her that abrasion (or ketchup stain?

Didn’t really mean to stick it to Cindy over addiction.  After all, I’m a terminal UCLA Spirit Addict, with no hope (or desire) of recovery.

Just making Neuheisel, the ex-Raven Coach and reputed Dark Prince, at home, with a couple of raven-haired princesses.

I bet the Spirit Squad has an impeccable Grad Rate (knowing Mollie).

Deja Vu (to a kill)

Got Neosporin?

The difference between UCLA and usc is Kristle-clear.


6 responses to “NeuTube”

  1. Waldorf Avatar

    Did I miss something? Are you saying that O.J. and Jefferson are coming back to SUC? I thought they were long gone, so what difference does it make if they go to class or not? Maybe I’m missing the joke, or maybe this is old news. Sorry if that’s the case.

    [T-H’s Note: I was afraid my words might be taken that way. NO — What I meant was that even though Mayo and Jefferson are done playing for sc, they are still finishing their academic requirements, so the trojans are on track to lose NO FURTHER scholarships. In other words, the news NOW about them making the list won’t have any effect on anything, from this point on. But yeah, those two guys have committed their last Turnovers in ketchup and mustard. And I’m glad someone is paying attention.]

  2. BobTheBruin Avatar

    Wow, what a delightful man.

    Link to video

  3. USCSUX Avatar

    The world famous UCLA puppet thanks you for posting his picture with his new best friend.

  4. UCLADal Avatar

    I’ll forgive her.

  5. Josephine Bruin Avatar
    Josephine Bruin

    love the “shallow sc soccer mom/alum who doesn’t put her turn signal on her bmw going to nordstroms!!!!!!!!!” LOVE YOU!

  6. Mark Sullivan Avatar
    Mark Sullivan

    Hey! I want to see that video of that clown berating all of sc’s own recruits. Is there still an active link out there?

    Go Bruins.

    [T-H’s Note: Because of the negative reaction to arrogant Carroll’s arrogant Son, sc pulled the video from cyberspace. Not only that, but they FALSELY claim that the whole thing was a JOKE. Yeah, it was a joke, all right, just NOT an INTENTIONAL one. The trojans thought that the video made them look tough and cool, but in actuality, it showed them to be the obnoxious a-holes that they are. Once that sc realized how they were being perceived (as jackasses), they deleted it from their website. Typical lying trojans, can’t even admit that they screwed up and misjudged how THEY would be judged.]