Jumping Jiminy!  Judge Jackie the Jokewoman Jettisons The Juice from Jail

Instead of DENYING bail, O.J.’s Judge just doubles it, while complaining about his “arrogance and ignorance” (“Everyone please rise for Judge Obvious”)

Did you know that the the World-reknowned Captian Obvious was married, and that his wife was a District Court Judge in Nevada?

Judge Jackie Glass just announced to the World that the #1 Hero of USC is arrogant and ignorant.  Well, DUH!!  How else could he become the Poster Boy for trOJan nation?  The trojans are nothing if they aren’t arrogant, and their ignorance (i.e. turning a blind eye to Bushgate; claiming Championships that they never earned) is legendary.  So of course O.J. is both of the above.  HIS arrogance is displayed over and over for the public to view, best exemplified by his “If I Did It” confession book;  His ignorance is apparent when you ask him what the general public thinks of him — He thinks that he is beloved by all, but it is only trojans and a few people still grasping at the race card who don’t think he’s murderous scum. 

Which brings us to this Judge.  The other day, trOJan Point Guard Daniel Hackett PROJECTED his team’s dirty-play mentality onto the Bruins (implying that they would try to hit his injury), and now it looks like Judge Glass is needlessly projecting HER arrogance and ignorance onto O.J., who already has plenty of his own.

Has Jackie been living in a cave?  Why in the World would she EXPECT Simpson to obey her court orders?  He and his trojan disciples never follow the rules.  In fact, they make a point of saying things like “We own the Police,” and O.J. himself has thwarted attempts at Justice for over a decade.  So the Judge’s SURPRISE at O.J.’s illegal behavior indicates only one thing:  The Judge’s OWN arrogance and ignorance.  Apparently, she overestimated the power of her own authority.

And what makes matters worse, all she did to punish O.J. for breaking her specific orders (by trying to send a message to a co-defendant) was double his bail to $250,000… which he has already covered.  So, once again the Judge has proven completely impotent.  If she had any balls, and if the law allowed (which it probably doesn’t, so it’s not really her fault), she would have completely REVOKED his Bail, and remanded him to custody until the April 7th trial.    But instead, at 11pm last night, he hopped in a White Mercedes and left jail, once again escaping Justice.   If “remand” WAS within Judge Glass’ power but she didn’t use it, then we bet that she’s one of those few people who think that he really went looking for the Real Killers.

Below are 5 photos of UCLA Spirit, in response to “Darren’s” complaint, made “relevant” with O.J.-related captions.  Enjoy, Big D!  Don’t forget to mouse over, to reveal the hidden captions, and to click on them to enlarge them to 1200 pixels across.

O.J.’s an expert on “line-ups.”

O.J.’s also familiar with the phrase “Put your hands up!”

O.J. is also familiar with “profiles,” as in the one that the FBI has on him.

O.J. and his lawyers are working on a new song & dance right now

All we ever want is a happy ending, and “20-to-Life for Kidnapping” would do the trick.




  1. James Avatar

    The one half-asian girl on the dance team who is always front and center is the new “Chelsey” this year. My God she is gorgeous.

  2. t-h Avatar

    It appears that you are referring to Katie (the Captain of the Dance Team), who, we agree whole-heartedly, definitely helps make up for the loss of Chelsey