KATIE BAR THE DOOR

Is there ANY way to keep the Bruin Stars in Westwood, short of locking them in Pauley?

The buzz is not good at UCLA right now.  Not only are SEVERAL of the Bruins’ best Basketballers allegedly about to declare early for the NBA Draft, but also the Football Team’s serious injuries and struggling Offensive Line are dampening the spirits that were so high two weeks ago.

If you believe Daily News blogger Brian Dohn, Kevin Love and Darren Collison are 100% GONE, with Russell Westbrook probably on their tails.  Also, he says that it is less than 50-50 that Alfred Aboya will be back.  We don’t know why he is being so cocky about Kevin and Darren having decided to bail months ago, because he is in effect accusing the pair of blatantly lying to the Media and thus, the Public. Is he saying that there is absolutely NO discussion going on this weekend, in either the Love or Collison household?  These students are not machines.  They have the natural emotions of Teenagers, and it just can’t be stated with certainty that a last-minute decision to stay in school is impossible.  Do WE think that they are staying?  Nope, not at all.  We just resent people who state their opinions as facts, even when we SHARE those opinions, and even still, when those opinions turn out to be correct.

If he can PROVE that it is indeed fact, then he should.  If he can’t, for whatever legitimate Journalistic reason, then he should qualify his comments as speculation (even if they are more than that).

Dohn also says that James Keefe will not be able to play full-time Center for the post-Love Bruins because he’s not big and strong enough.  If Aboya leaves, and Keefe can’t do it, and the incoming Drew Gordon is only 6′ 8″, we’re not sure who is going to fill the void.

In the face of all this impending Basketball doom, there are now some comments out there by the UCLA Football Coaching Staff that make it sound like the Offensive Line is getting abused in Spring Practice.  They are talking about the severe lack of experience and the shifting of positions as the reason for the slow start.   Apparently, the Defense has been teeing off, and the only thing that Norm Chow and Rick Neuheisel can tell about the QB’s is how fast they can react to the lack of protection.

Well, well, well.  That would certainly explain why Pat Cowan has been seeing so much time with the 1st Team.  We have been holding out for the man with the mechanics – Ben Olson – to win the competition, for the third straight year, HOWEVER — It’s just like before the last sc game:  If the O-Line is not going to afford the Bruin QB any time in the Pocket, than suddenly, Cowan becomes a much better option than Olson.  Cowan’s superior mobility (assuming his rehab went well), toughness, and penchant for improvisation would put Pat in the Driver’s Seat.

But Olson doesn’t need to transfer — A weak Offensive Line leads to QB injuries, so Olson, Kevin Craft, and maybe both the others will all take some snaps before the season is over.  Olson will still get his chance to prove that all the Recruiting Buzz about him was more than just hype.  But he’ll have to master Chow’s system, to compensate for his Line losing the battle of the trenches in front of him.

That will be the true test:  You know that Chow could take a good team to the top, but will his Offensive Genius be able to overcome a unit that can’t control the line of scrimmage?  If the QB is constantly bolting to avoid pressure, there are certain plays that you can call to diffuse the problem.  If anyone knows how to do that, it’s Chow, but it’s still a very tall order.

If the Coaches don’t succeed immediately, it seems like they will get cut more slack than their predecessor.  If you remember last year, even the injuries were blamed on the Coaching Staff.  This year, two guys are already done — TB Ryen Carew, for the Year, and LB Shawn Oatis, for EVER.  However, NO ONE is blaming the new regime for these two (personally) devastating injuries.  Of course, they don’t DESERVE blame, but neither did the last guy.

And speaking of fans having idiotic kneejerk reactions, there has been a bunch of whining over something that we think is a major COUP for the UCLA-usc Rivalry:

AOL is reporting that an agreement is near that could see the Bruins and trojans BOTH wearing Home (dark-colored) jerseys in their upcoming game at the Rose Bowl this year.  The whiners are complaining that sc shouldn’t get to go “first,” by getting treated as a Home team (or an “equal”) in UCLA’s Home Stadium, and that if it has to happen, it should start at – or happen only at – the Coliseum, where the Tradition took flight.  They don’t think the idea of Dual Home jerseys makes sense, since the teams no longer share a Home.  They are also bemoaning the meaningless fact that each team will get one less Time Out in the First Half.  “What if we lose out on a TD at the end of the Half, because we were short that Time Out?”  It takes an utter idiot to come up with something so completely illogical that it would force Leonard Nimoy’s head to explode.  BOTH teams lose a Time Out.  What would make you think that UCLA will be the team to need it?  Does Neuheisel have a History of wasting Time Outs and poor Clock Management?  We tend to shy away from denigrating the previous Coach, but Clock Management was definitely NOT one of his strong suits.  Not so with a savvy, experienced, quick-thinker like Neuheisel in charge, and with Chow overseeing things on top of that.  In fact, we’re just guessing, but based on Time of Possession statistics covering the last decade, we bet that it is much more likely that sc will have the ball as the Half is coming to a close.

But that’s not the point.  There is MUCH to be gained by pulling off this Technicolor feat, and we think that all the naysayers are just too young or too dumb to understand, that their position is total BULLSH!T.  And here are SEVEN reasons why:

1) This unorthodox approach to uniforms will ELEVATE this game to an even more prominent National position. Everyone will be talking about it, and everyone will show it in photos, videos, and broadcasts.

2) It puts sc on notice that UCLA is going to compete with them, is not afraid of them, and is going to re-establish this Rivalry as a Real Rivalry.

3) It shows Class that UCLA will be FIRST in allowing the visiting team to wear darks.

4) From a purely visual aesthetic, it is the coolest-looking sporting event in the World.

5) Do you guys hate when the MLB or MBA rolls out Throwback jerseys? The nostalgia factor (for people over 30) is palpable, and will drive up interest in the game.

6) There is famous artwork depicting the classic Blue vs. Red Showdown, and it is famous only because of the dark uniforms. This plan will lead to more of it, which will continue to bring UCLA into the National consciousness as a Football power. It would be nice for a new piece to eclipse the one of “Mr. If I Did It” slicing through the Bruin Defense.

7) Because of the MISGUIDED respect that Carroll is reaping right now, it is not unwise to share/steal some of his spotlight, by jointly tackling this unique endeavor.

If you agree, please chime in.  If you don’t, we’d say that you must be color blind, and that you should keep your opinions to yourself.  ALMOST the same thing applies to these 7 photos below.  If you like them, we’d love to hear from you.  If NOT, you should be declared legally blind, not allowed to drive, and have your computer keyboard taken away so you can’t ever send us a comment.