Johnnie Cockring can’t help now.

No truce, as Court TV Reporters spruce up with mousse:  O.J.’s ass is still in a sling, again, as the trojan hero has been ordered to stand trial in Las Vegas for Armed Robbery and Kidnapping

As expected by legal experts but not by us, usc’s Favorite Son O.J. Simpson LOST his preliminary Hearing and now has to go to Court for his role in the Palace Station Memorabilia incident.

The experts insisted that the amount of proof needed to warrant a trial is minimal, so despite the fact that all the witnesses against O.J. have already sold their movie rights, the Judge ruled that the case can go to a Jury.

Upon hearing the word “Jury,” O.J. celebrated, saying that he has often relied on the kindness of juries.  But perhaps there won’t be any sc fans on the Nevada jury that will get to decide Simpson’s fate.

The charges COULD have him facing a LIFE SENTENCE behind bars.  And all the jury has to do to convict, is believe the testimony of the Juice’s accomplice, who says that O.J. told him prior to the Hotel Room Attack to “pack some heat.”  If they buy that story, then O.J. really could finally be facing the World’s largest dose of legal karma ever. 

Of course, the happy ending that we’re envisioning is just too good to be true (sort of like 13-9), so we do NOT expect it to end that way.  First of all, there could be a plea agreement, where he gets off with some sort of fine and probation or community service.  But the real worry is that the witnesses are a bunch of greedy, felonious stooges who would say anything for a buck — We think that the Jury will NOT buy the story, and he will beat the system again.  We really, really, hope that we are wrong, just like 13-9.

And now, a note about some tool with a gmail address indicating himself as a Dumpdorrell zealot.  After apparently getting tired of attacking a loyal Bruin alum, he has turned his attention to us.  He is writing us flaming letters, because he can’t stand the fact that we refuse to jump on his little bandwagon of classless venom.  Now why in Hell would we “approve for publication” a post that attacks us with juvenile insults?

What a joke.  Can’t he read between the lines?  We are HARDLY throwing up a gauntlet against the anti-Dorrell wave of terror.  Besides pointing out the obvious injuries, all we’re doing is asking for the KD-haters to act with Class, and be patient for the proper moment to make a change, which is NOT while the Bruins are in possession of the Victory Bell.  Basically, we have just steered clear of the nuts and bolts of that whole issue.  But apparently, that’s not good enough for everyone.

Below are 6 more Spirit photos from Tuesday night.  We hope everyone –make that ALMOST everyone –enjoys them.  

We hope that they never abandon these eye-pleasing outfits.  Well, actually…

…just kidding.  If we wanted that, we’d go to Vegas.

We hope they don’t abandon ALL of the space behind the baskets in Pauley.

Sometimes you just want to dive right into your computer screen, don’t you?

Maybe this Coyote could have caught the Roadrunner.

Hey - Maybe we’ll move to San Berdoo after all. How much for a double-wide? [Trailer, that is, not trailer trash]