Dedicated to the HATRED of all things trOJan


GRAND THEFT VATO:  These Girls could steal away ANY hombre they wanted to.

Is there anybunny left in the hot tubs of Airbrush Land now that UCLA has a monopoly on the best “Girls Next Door?”

Just call it “Hugh-C-L-A.”

Back in the day, every kid knew that the best-looking Girls in the World resided under their Dads’ beds, and I don’t mean aldulterous Mistresses hiding from Moms).  In the pioneering days of the photographic touch-up, long before regular people knew about airbrushing, young boys (of all ages) flocked to the “Girls Next Door” on the pages of Hugh Hefner’s personal paradise, to see perfection personified, and get some crucial education.

Nowadays, the most beautiful and attractive Girls have even more to offer than the hottest Girls of Yesteryear, adding brains and athletic talent to the mix.  Not that the Playmates didn’t have talent:  After all, it’s not easy to appear wholesome while sprawled out naked on a pool table without ripping the felt with a stiletto heel.  But now that the Best of the Best have the WHOLE package, they are finding their way to UCLA.  It’s a great evolution, since everyone knows that brains are sexy, too.

Below are a lucky 13 more photos (from the last BYU pre-game rally), because it’s just TIME for a jolt of adrenalin.  And one serious note:  I hope no one is offended by a perceived comparison, connection, or relationship between the Spirit Squad and the aforementioned models.  The only implication was that the Spirit Squad Girls are not just wholesome-LOOKING, and that they don’t need airbrushing to achieve the look of perfection.

By the way…

My Turn-offs are:  Wasabe, ungrateful people, cilantro, injustice, and trojans.

Favorite New TV jingle:  Free Credit Report dot com — The Pirate in the Restaurant, serving chowder and iced tea to tourists in t-shirts (coming at you like an atom bomb).

Favorite Movie:  Raiders of the Lost Ark (Hopefully, May 22nd won’t provide a major let-down like Lucas’ last trilogy-following endeavor).

Favorite Cartoon:  Speed Racer  (Honorable Mention:  The Devlins).

Movie most likely to be a letdown:  Speed Racer (based solely on others’ REVIEWS). 

Least Favorite guy to wake up twice in a row:  Robert Iron Man Downey, jr.  The IRONy is equisite:  During his time on “Ally McBeal,” he was a great actor, and a really nice guy, but hardly Cal Ripken-reliable.

Turn-ons:  You’re kidding, right?  (Please see below)

 Just call me The Prince of Darkness, because it’s that added darkness that allows this photo to be shared

  Maybe she’ll see another “bended knee” in the near future?

Proof that they aren’t Playmates?  No Cade McNown hanging around.

“What’s all this fuss about ‘Super Delicates?’  They look pretty durable to me.”

Had to black out the “tourists in t-shirts.”  Shoulda gone to: FREEEE credit, report dot com…


The poor, under-appreciated Cheer Squad, in their only appearance today (sorry).

If life were like a video game, I’d stay in this level forever.

You can’t “unfold” this pic, but you CAN enlarge it — Just click here.

Our unabashed dictionary defines “Foreplay” as UCLA’s… Quarterback rotation in the first two games.

Most people’s favorite LINE is a line from a movie.  Not mine.

Girls of the Pac-10 All-Stars, stepping out of line.

Hope this one gave you closure, because THAT’S IT for tonight.

"GRAND THEFT GROTTO IV" was published on May 10th, 2008 and is listed in UCLA/usc/Cheerleader Photos.

Comments on "GRAND THEFT GROTTO IV": 2 Comments

  1. Waldorf wrote,

    Nice homage. And remember, one of Hef’s favorites – and ours – Barbie Benton, is a UCLA product. Hooray for our team!

  2. Rick wrote,

    [Speed Racer?!]

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