Dedicated to the HATRED of all things trOJan



Oh, BOI!  —  Thanks to another frozen WITTness, Figueroa Tech’s Most KWANted is no longer on thin ice, and will probably go SCOTT free

Quick — Someone get a shovel and dig up the 50-yard line in the Coliseum — You just might find the shallow grave of the latest person to point the finger at a trOJan.  Is that why they call it the “Mausoleum?”

Yesterday, it was announced that incoming trojan Football Recruit Maurice Simmons might “escape justice” on his Armed Robbery and related charges.  Excuse the legal ignorance, but apparently, the Court had to issue a warrant to get Simmons’ victim to appear, after he was a no-show at Monday’s proceeding.

So, why the Cold Feet?  Well, the guy COULD have been lying, just trying to extort some blood money out of the deep-pocketed usc Football Machine.  Or… maybe he is recanting because he just isn’t sure who robbed him.  Or… maybe it suddenly became in his be$t intere$t$ to go AWOL.  Or… maybe it’s intimidation.  OR… maybe the guy is just, GONE.  Like Jimmy Hoffa, buried under a certain football field.

Our bet is that it was a vast Bruin conspiracy trying to besmirch the good name of Maurice Simmons, but the Actor playing the phony victim got a bit part on “Two and a Half Men” (as Alan finally comes out), so he was no longer available for the trial.

With no complaining victim, the Robbery and Armed Assault charges are toast.  Simmons SHOULD still be held accountable for the lesser infraction of allowing a loaded weapon in his vehicle, but his Lawyer says that if the Felony is History, then the Misdemeanor is gone, too.  And just like that, it’s off to Florida to hit the links with O.J., and then back to practice for Pom Pom Pete, with Simmons’ new peers.  At least he’ll feel safe walking across campus, on his way to, uh, “class” (stop snickering — maybe he’ll take Ballroom Dancing), since he’s allegedly experienced in packing heat.  That is, unless the ENTIRE story is fabricated, or a set-up, and Maurice is completely as innocent as the Court is going to deem him.  Good for Society, but it would have been interesting to see how much legal Guilt Pom Pom would have tolerated, and still welcomed Simmons to the team.  If YOU were in Carroll’s place, would you want to tell Simmons to go away?  How many alleged armed robbers do you really want as hated enemies?  More likely:  “Welcome Home, Maurice!”


And speaking of HOME, two legendary figures from UCLA Basketball are going to make L.A. their Home for a long time to come.  Bruin Head Coach Ben Howland signed a 7-year Contract to remain in Westwood, with an escalating salary around $2 Mil a year.  This deal is so Universally-approved by Bruin fans young and old, that it’s almost Non-News.  What kind of glowing thing can be said about Howland that you don’t already know?  Three straight Final Fours, a UCLA-Record 35 Wins last year, #1 Recruiting Class, NBA Draft picks flowing — 99% of you believe that Howland deserves every penny.  And when he hangs his first NCAA Championship Banner in Pauley, the other 1% will come around.

And speaking of coming around, UCLA Great Baron Davis is finally coing Home to L.A.  Baron has agreed with the Clippers, to a 5-year, $65 Million Dollar contract to be the Clippers’ New Point Guard.  Baron’s high-priced arrival means that Corey Maggette will not be returning to L.A., but apparently, Elton Brand will. 

It is hard to believe that Davis would agree to come play for Donald Sterling if Brand wasn’t coming back.  Unless he no longer cares about winning, it wouldn’t make any sense.  The Clippers without Brand would not have been nearly as successful as Golden State.  However, Baron is a Film Producer, who wants to be near Hollywood, so maybe he WAS ready to sacrifice a shot at an NBA Title, in order to be closer to The Biz.

So the Battle for Staples next year COULD see both the Lakers and Clippers Quarterbacked by Bruins, with Jordan Farmar hopefully running the Purple and Gold next season.  We will still be rooting for the Lakers, with Trevor Ariza and Kareem giving them THREE Bruins in the mix, but for the first time in decades, we will ALSO be rooting for the Clippers, expecially when they aren’t playing the Lakers.

Despite the fact that Baron Davis is coming off healthy, productive years, some people have intimated that he is “washed up.”  Nonsense.  While he COULD sustain an injury, he is still worth the risk.  He can still take over a game, as he did against Dallas in that unforgettable 8 vs. 1 series upset.  So, GO CLIPPERS — The hope is that they just make the Playoffs — that would be a triumph for Baron in itself.


One final issue:  UCLAXTC, I need your help.  Actually, anyone who ever goes to Scott Wolf’s Daily News sc blog.  For a while now, every time I go there, my computer completely freezes up, and has to be turned off manually.  I have tried another computer, and it WAS okay, until yesterday, when the same thing happened to that one.  It seems to have to do with all the damn animated ads all over the site, that slow it down so badly anyway.  The ads seem to get stuck, and then, the whole computer freezes.  Even ctrl-alt-delete doesn’t work. 

So I have a few questions:  Is anyone else having trouble with that site (using Internet Explorer)?  If so, can you please let me, or more importantly, let HIM know?  And finally, can you guys please keep track of what’s going on over there, and let me know if they reference this site, use my photos, or if there is some anti-trojan news that you think I should know, but might not see anywhere else?  Thanks.  In appreciation of your cooperation, and in honor of the Fig U SKATERS, here are nine more photos of those SCATERS’ teammates, and some beautiful Song Girl FIGURES.

 BTW — We are NOT implying that THESE trojan footballers are the actual “skaters.”

Katarina, can I have your autograph?

He’s thinking about performing a “Triple Axle.”

What ever happened to Brian Boitano?

Chad Michael Michaels would love this (and he was actually AT this event).

When they’re in the pool, you don’t have to worry about loaded weapons.

Somewhere, a Pool of Lawyers is preparing to protect this Pool of Players.

Wanna drive the Zamboni?

And that puts a cap in it for today.  SCate On!



"FIG U SKATERS" was published on July 2nd, 2008 and is listed in Blue & Gold News, News from the Dark Side, UCLA/usc/Cheerleader Photos.

Comments on "FIG U SKATERS": 7 Comments

  1. RR wrote,

    My fav’ Bruin has returned to the great city of LA. Finally a reason to cheer for the other LA team lol
    If Brand does re-sign which I’m pretty sure he will… the Staples Center battle will finally get interesting. The Clippers when healthy have a good squad, a playoff bound squad actually… injuries just always seem to get the best of them.

    With the Fav’ 5 coming in for UCLA, the Clippers having a Brand/Davis/Kaman attack, and the Lakers squad coming through with a healthy Bynum… GOT DAMN!! That is one exciting year of basketball for the city of LA. Can’t wait for it!!!

    I decided to check up Scott Wolf’s blog, not a regular but I check every now and then. I seem to not have this problem that you’re having.

    What I see is that the Trojan faithfuls, sad that they’re unable to see any pics are still raving about Oregon’s dance squad.

    Also he posted a pic of the Arizona St. Sun Devils dance team and now the readers are going as far as to say that their dance team now RIVALS the Bruins spirit squad! lol!
    Also thanks to that pic readers continue to (lightly) put down the Song Girls.
    “Damn! Is there no group left in the country these days that isn’t better than the USC Song Girls?”

  2. UCLADal wrote,

    Hey T-H, It’s looks like Mr. Girls Gone Wild is having a hard time paying his debts. Maybe he needs to get some help from Simmnon’s attorney or whatever he’s called these days. GO BRUINS! DESTROY troy!

  3. JP wrote,

    t-h, the site seems to be fine with me. Haven’t had trouble accessing it, even at work where a lot of sites are protected.

    Anyways, it’s more anti-Song Girl stuff pretty much. It’s been non-stop now for about a month. They’re VERY, VERY, VERY unhappy with the looks of their Song Girls. Honestly, I don’t blame them. I could see why they’d be so upset. We’ve been spoiled the past few years, but I can imagine what would happen if the quality of the Dance Team went down. Although I’m sure we wouldn’t ever let that happen. We’ve been on a roll and the people in charge of our program know what they’re doing.

  4. UCLAXTC wrote,

    T-H, I use Firefox, not I.E. and don’t have problems with Scott Wolf’s blog displaying properly or freezing up. There has not been any unauthorized use of your photos to my knowledge. The only thing I recall was a comment posted by a reader who cited your blog, but did not use or post any of your photos.


  5. BruinEric wrote,

    Re: Wolf’s site.

    Just set yourself up an RSS reader. Google Reader is a good one and no software needs to be installed on your PC.

    Then add Wolf’s site’s RSS feed by clicking on that little orange box you’ll see when you visit the site. The full posts come into Google Reader, so you won’t have to visit that site any more, nor endure the ads.

  6. JosephineBruin wrote,

    Welcome home BARON!

  7. Alexis wrote,


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