A rehab Room with a Vew?

“Yeah, you’re Crazy, ‘Vich, but your luck’s so good you’re on top of it…” — Ex-trojan and repeat-offender Todd Marijuanovich BUCKs the odds and lands a CHERRY Laguna Beach “sentence” after he pleads Guilty to Evading Police and Possession of a Syringe and methamphetamines


We have vowed to stop making fun of the mentally-defective, but if someone disables their own mind themselves, are they still off-limits?

Former trojan QB Todd Marinovich pled Guilty yesterday to charges stemming from his recent O.C. run-in with Police.  Marinovich got caught with a syringe and Methamphetamines, hidden inside a guitar case.  The 38-year-old Marinovich was Skateboarding in a no skateboarding zone in the middle of the night, when Police confronted him, and he led them on a low-speed chase, ala O.J., through the O.C., until they caught him in a public bathroom, STILL HOLDING the illegal goods.  That’s the true sign of a junkie — he couldn’t even bring himself to flush his stash as the Cops were closing in on him.

But despite his myriad arrests and at least FOUR PREVIOUS DRUG CONVICTIONS, the Paris Hilton “Justice” System has seen fit to let Todd out of Jail, after only two months.  He will now start five years PROBATION, with the first year in a luxurious Laguna Beach Rehab Center.  The photo accompanying this article is the ACTUAL VIEW from the place, which is right on South Coast Highway, at the beach.  Do you think he will “learn his lesson” this time?  Will he be “Scared Straight” after his torturous stint in “Cell Block: Pacifica?”

How many times does someone need to get busted before you throw in the towel on “rehabilitation?”  Is it still the trojan network of influence-peddlers – and Todd’s overzealous Dad –  pulling strings?  Does sc own the OC?  When do even trojan Judges decide that enough is enough, and Society would be better with 5-Time Losers locked behind bars?

And speaking of Losers, THREE other trojans offered themselves up as fodder for the Bruin joke mill, just to take the pressure off of Marinovich (and O.J.):

First, sc Athletic Director Mike Garrett showed his ignorance to the Media, when talking about the Bush and Leinart jerseys being added to the other Heisman winners in Heritage Hall (which still includes O.J.’s of course).  Garrett said that he had no clue which jerseys were in there, prior to this event.  The Head of Sports at sc doesn’t know that O.J.’s jersey is proudly on display in the Campus Shrine?

Second is Mike Williams, one of the most arrogant ex-trojans of them all – and that’s really saying something – who just got CUT again.  Before, it was the Lions, who suddenly became a quality team after his departure, and now, after two screw-ups on Sunday, including the Game-Losing Drop, it’s the woeful Raiders, and ex-trojan Lane Kiffin, who just tossed Williams aside like a… well, like a used Trojan.  And that’s why now he’s RIBBED.  But don’t expect the Raiders to improve too much — they still have Kiffin and Al Davis in charge, and cutting Williams is the only good move they’ve made all year.

Finally, and perhaps the most “trojan-y” of all the four, is WR Dwayne Jarrett, now a Rookie with Carolina.  Yesterday Jarrett was giving a Media Interview, EXPLAINING WHY HE HAS SUCKED THIS YEAR, when teammate Steve Smith (not the injured trojan jawbreaker, but the All-Pro Panther Wide Out) came over and told Jarrett that maybe the reason was that he was doing too many Interviews, and not enough studying of the Game Films.  Jarrett ignored him and kept schmoozing the Reporter, until Smith came back and said that he wasn’t joking, and that Jarrett needed to move his ass.  Move over, Mike Williams, you may have company soon.

The bottom line is that, TODD, you are not alone — Many of your troy brethren are also struggling with Reality. 

 ***Drug addiction is a serious mental disease that should not be taken lightly.  By the way, no Drugs were harmed during the production of this article.


 Added on Thursday:  This photo documents the late hit that knocked Ben Olson out of the Arizona game last year.  This is here to shut up the moronic Wildcats who are complaining about a late Bruin hit on THEIR Quarterback.

Better late than never?  Not in this case.


One response to “CRAZY ‘VICH”

  1. UCLADal Avatar

    Todd busted again. You’d figure since most of his transgressions have occurred down in Newport/Balboa where there are probably a lot of temptations, he’d find some other place to live…oh well. I wonder if he listed “unemployed artist” as his occupation like he’s done before.

    As for Jarrett, I wonder if Mr. Lienart (the dad) is still paying part of his rent. Hopefully Mike “I didn’t know going to class was so important” Williams still has some “trojan family” connections so he can get a job. He might run into RJ Soward in the unemployment line. I’m sure they’ll lots to talk about.