CLOSER — by NINE INCH (thumb)NAILS

We bring you Closer to God:  Why buck a Trent?  Here’s another batch of hi-Rez(nor), heavenly, from-the-inside “Closer-Ups” (“Help me — I’ve got no soul to sell.”)

Why do birds, suddenly appear, every time, you are near?  Just like me, they long to be, Close to You(CLA).

From “Nine Inch Nails” to their polar opposites “The Carpenters,” everyone knows that “closer is better.”  That’s why the UCLA Scrimmage at the Rose Bowl was fun — Because lots of fans could get close to the action — before, during, and after the game.

Prior to the game, contingents from the Football Team (Kahlil Bell and Joshua Edwards, to name two), Cheer Squad, and the Dance Team were all mingling with the crowd, and especially with little kids in the kids’ activity area.  They were all imparting advice, signing autographs, and most importantly, POSING FOR PHOTOS… tirelessly.  You have to admire the relentless ability to keep smiling in 100 degree heat with so many people desperately vying for your attention. 

And naturally, the Girls draw a certain element, of non-Bruins, tourists, and first-time fans who haven’t left the trailer park since NASCAR was in town, so it’s a miracle that no Girl has ever “snapped,” and kneed an obnoxious drunk right in the velvet Crown Royal sack.  It would certainly be Justifiable Groinicide.  But they wouldn’t have become Cheerleaders if they were bothered by adulation… and no one adulates them more than we do.  We are VERY happy with the shots we got on Saturday, and we’d like to know if you have found ANY BETTER coverage of these lovely Girls, ANYWHERE.  Does anyone get you CLOSER? 

And while we’re on the soapbox, we want to remind our frequent commenters that we appreciate the feedback and enthusiasm, but please don’t forget that all the Girls of the Squad could and probably will hear about — or see for themselves — your remarks.  And when there is a gorgeous spread of a group, and the comments just lament about who is missing  —  How do you think that would make them feel?  We understand that you like these Girls too, and don’t mean to slight them, but in reality, that’s exactly what you’re doing.  So lighten up, compliment certain shots that you like of OTHER Girls, and in the long run, you’ll feel better about yourselves for doing the right thing.  We’ll still “GET” the idea, of who you guys like the best.

Hey — It feels pretty good up here on this soapbox, so while we’re at it:  What the F*** is up with these raving lunatics who don’t think Darren Collison’s return is an event to celebrate?  Some guy, probably from bruin nation, came on to Bruin Zone, trashed Collison, and then backed himself up under a different screen name.  How absolutely clueless do you have to be to think it’s a bad thing to retain an All-American?  At least this guy was smart enough to realize that he would need to cyber-clone himself, so that he’d have at least one voice in his corner.

Do we REALLY need to go into detail about what Collison brings to the table?  It doesn’t matter who else stays or goes, or who is coming in, or how many scholarships there are;  Darren Collison is undeniably one of the BEST Players at ANY Position, in the entire Country.  For much of last Season, he was being called the best Point Guard in the Nation, for his equally-impressive Offensive and Defensive skills.  His ability to beat defenders off the dribble complements perfectly his uncanny knack for tossing up floaters in the lane.  Add to that his remarkable Three-Point Shooting percentage, not to mention his automatic-ness at the Line, and he would be the MVP of almost every team in the NCAA next year, whether he is running the Point or not.

If Russell Westbrook returns, which we doubt, that will NOT create a logjam at Guard.  Jrue Holiday will still get his minutes, as Ben Howland will end up with a Three-Guard line-up, in terms of minutes played.  And if Westbrook goes, Collison will be the best Defensive Guard, possibly, on the entire West Coast.  His quick hands and feet have been thoroughly frustrating opponents for years, and tends to push the foes out, and out of their Offensive rhythm.  With all the high-flying talent on next year’s Bruin team, Collison’s pressure D and ability to create turnovers will lead to an untold amount of fast-break dunks, making them a more exciting Bruin team to watch than any of the three Final Four teams that preceded them.

The bottom line is Senior Leadership.  Darren will teach the Humble Howland-Style Work Ethic to the incoming Superstars, and he will be the guy whose hands you’ll WANT on the ball, as time winds down in each close game this Season.

And the Bruins will need everything they can get, just to remain the best team in town:  Taj Gibson of usc has just announced that he is returning for next Season.  With Davon Jefferson probably coming back too, and with Demar Derozan coming in, sc will be tough, especially underneath, where the Bruins will be the most vulnerable.  By the way, UCLA’s Josh Shipp just declared for the Draft, but will NOT hire an Agent, so he is expected to return for one more crack at the Title, and another crack at playing a full year as a big time College Star. 

Speaking of vulnerable, several Football Bruins got picked up by NFL teams yesterday.  A few were Drafted, and a few signed Free Agent contracts.  We don’t want to get too excited, as their footholds in the NFL are not exactly solid, but we do want to share the List:

Bruce Davis was Drafted in the Third Round by the Pittsburgh Steelers,  Special Teams Stud and NFL Legacy Matthew Slater was spied by the New England Video Pirates in the Fifth Round, and Chris Horton went in the Seventh Round to the Washington Redskins.

After the Draft, three other Bruins reached agreements with Teams, and two more were invited to Teams’ try-out camps.  Dennis Keyes signed with Arizona, Brandon Breazell with Kansas City, and Trey Brown with Chicago, where  Chris Markey will also be getting a chance, and Kevin Brown will try his luck working out for Seattle.  The funny thing is that the overall result of how these guys fare will be turned into a screw you to Karl Dorrell, EITHER WAY.  If a bunch of them flourish, critics will say that he did horribly, despite having loads of talent.  If they DON’T do well as a group, the same critics will say that Dorrell couldn’t Recruit or develop talent worth a damn.  Sometimes, you just can’t win for losing.  As every rational person knows, the truth is somewhere in the middle, and is not worthy of all the venom that was spewed.

Speaking of venom, here are some more Cheer and Player photos from the Brianna-less Scrimmage.  If SHE is the only reason you are here, then you can just skip it, and wait, and hope that the vote goes your way on Wednesday.