A familiar ring:  Bruins will find out if Kahlil is irreplacea-BELL, as his suffering of a knee injury rings up his season, has Dorrell caught in the wringer, and has fans wringing their hands

Go ahead and keep believing that injuries shouldn’t change a team’s overall performance.

Bruin Starting Running Back Kahlil Bell is having season-ending surgery, to repair a ligament in his knee.  UCLA will now have to rely on Chris Markey, who ran on Saturday like he had ligament damage too.  Actually, Chris is battling a toe injury, that has him whittled down to a shadow of his former self.  That leaves Chane Moline and Christian Ramirez, to lead a team that HAS to rush the ball to be successful.

They HAVE to take the pressure off of Pat Cowan, who can’t scramble due to HIS injuries, and can’t throw downfield, due to his lack of talent.  And after the WSU joke, no one is claiming that the team plays hard whenever Cowan is in, so now, they HAVE to gain yards on the ground and shorten the game.

This week they are playing in Arizona, against the team whose late hit put Ben Olson on the shelf last year.  Arizona’s QB passed for over 500 yards against Washington last week, so we aren’t kidding when we say that the Bruins HAVE to establish the Run, in order to keep Tuitama off the field.  And with Brandon Breazell as 50-50 to play, it will be that much harder to get the Wildcats to respect the Pass.  Karl might have to resort to a few gadget plays to loosen up the Arizona Defense.  With all the criticism of Karl, at least we know that he is NOT adverse to throwing some trick plays into the mix.

If you are looking for more in-depth debating over Karl’s job, and OUR (lack of) position on the subject, check out the “Comments” sections of the past few articles — There are mini-novellas there explaining where we (don’t) stand (and why).


A few quick trojan notes worth sharing:  Disgraced sc QB Mark Sanchez, whose two INT’s  lost his Starting job in the loss at Oregon, said that he “went from Hero to Zero.”  Truer words have never been spoken by a trojan.  The only question is, will be be changing his jersey number from 6 to 0, to reflect his status as the World’s quickest “has-been?”  Word is that Mitch Mustain will keep Sanchez from seeing the field next year, except during mop-up time — like when Oregon has them down by 4 TD’s.

And speaking of Zeroes, ex-trojan loser Mike Williams dropped a 4th Down pass at the end of Oakland’s game in Tennessee, costing Lane Kiffin’s Raiders the victory.  The Raiders’ Defense was so bad, that they made LenDale White ook like he isn’t the NFL bust that he has appeared to be thus far in his Pro Career.  And ex-trojan Carson Palmer led the Bengals to yet another loss, basically eliminating them from the Playoffs, ALREADY.  Cinci Receiver T.J. Houshmenzadeh said that good teams score TD’s, but the Bengals kick Field Goals.  That sounds like a shot at the hapless QB, who is apparently playing so bad, that he is destroying team chemistry, as well as their Playoff chances.  Meanwhile, Jon Kitna, the man that Cinci blew off – AGAINST OUR ADVICE – in favor of Palmer, is leading the Detroit Lions to their best season in YEARS!!  Nice thinking Cinci.  We said it at the time, and it still rings true today:  There is a REASON why Cinci is almost always on the outside looking in at Playoff time, and their confidence in Cornhole Carson is just another example.    


Below are a few photos inspired by this rash of injuries that has hamstrung the playcalling, and snowballed into an epidemic, which the Depth that Karl has on hand is not enough to overcome.

 Olson limps off the field (for the last time this year?)

This could be the exact moment when Dorrell’s career fate was sealed.

This injury was Taylor-made for Dorrell-haters.

The injuries are so abundant, even the Refs took one on the shin.  Usually for them, it’s a BRAIN cramp, not a LEG cramp.



4 responses to “BELL’S HELL”

  1. Betty Bruin Avatar
    Betty Bruin

    I am a very disappointed Bruin fan, but I have a question rather than a comment. Could it be that the problem is Dorrell’s stubborn adherence to the “west coast offense”? Could it be that “it” is responsible for the revolving door for offensive coordinators, for the mediocre play by talented quarterbacks, for the multitude of injuries to these talented, hard working young players, for the fact that the team seems to get worse rather than better as the season goes on? I love all things Bruin. My heart goes out to these young men who have worked so hard to get where they are and they are put in a box that doesn’t allow them to grow as players. I admit that I have limited knowledge of “football science”, but I love to see these players succeed and this system doesn’t seem to be the way. What’s your opinion?

  2. admin Avatar

    Dear Betty,

    It simply isn’t fair to blame EVERYTHING on the WCO. Yes, its complexity has created some unwanted boundaries, but you CANNOT discount all the CRUCIAL injuries that have thrown players in who didn’t have the proper experience to execute the plan properly.

    If you want, you can say the WCO is RISKY, because you can’t afford to lose your top 2 QB’s, top 4 RB’s, top 2 WR’s, and top Lineman, and still expect the WCO to work.

    We are not married to the WCO like Karl is, and would prefer a simpler system, because it seems like the Bruins lose their QB to injury every single year. But we will never forget Drew Olson’s spectacular Senior year, where he led the Country in efficiency, and the Bruins’ Offense was unstoppable when the game was on the line.

    Maurice Jones-Drew and Marcedes Lewis notwithstanding, it appears that Ben Olson and Pat Cowan do not have the same intangibles that Drew Olson had, which allowed him to execute the WCO perfectly. While it’s no fun WAITING for the next QB who can handle it, you can’t ignore the fact that the SYSTEM WORKS, when run correctly. The question remains: Can the system work with a NON-Senior QB? We say YES, if you recruit the right personnel, and perhaps with THE FALL OF TROY upon us, it will get a little easier to find the right pieces to plug right into the WCO puzzle.

    Thanks for your intellligent and mature approach to this issue. You should see some of the juvenile crap we receive!

  3. BruinFan1 Avatar

    It looks like your website is more than just a parody. You just gave an analysis based on the WCO and our current injuries. Seeing that this site is not just a parody, I ask you this question –

    Based on everything you know, should UCLA beat Arizona? If so, what score would be acceptable? If not, what would be an unacceptable loss?

  4. admin Avatar

    Dear B-F,

    Your question is not answer-able the way you want. It also shows that some people still think that you can judge a book by its cover. The final score of a game is NOT the determining factor of what is or isn’t “acceptable.” We could win 99-0, but if UCLA incurs 25 Personal Foul Penalties, the game would not be “acceptable.”

    Effort, attitude, and preparation are what’s important, and UNFORTUNATELY, the scoreboard doesn’t always hold true to that.

    SHOULD they win? Sure, of course they should. But if Cowan goes down in the 1st Quarter and Mac can’t shake off his life-long rust, it wouldn’t make the loss “unacceptable,” at least not in the terms that you are implying. In other words, you are trying to get us to say under what circumstances should the Coach be fired, and we are insisting that the result of any ONE game (other than an sc game) should not make or break a career. There are too many mitigating factors that could cause an unsavory result of any one game. When the season is over, you can look at the whole year, and make judgements that are much more valid.

    By the way, that Arizona QB – Tuitama – is a budding superstar (500+ yards vs. Washington), who will rack up some yards against the Bruin D, so it certainly wouldn’t shock anyone if Arizona won at home. Of course if the Bruins appear to QUIT, then your agenda picks up steam.

    And finally, as to this site being “more than a parody,” just because we include some actual data, it doesn’t mean that the MAIN OBJECTIVE of the site isn’t ENTERTAINMENT AND HUMOR. For all you know, we could be MAKING UP STATISTICS, and even QUOTES. That’s part of the freedom of Parody — We don’t guarantee the veracity of anything here, and we keep asking people to stop taking it so seriously.

    Does “The Daily Show” become “News” and not “Satire,” just because they now interview the Real candidates, and sometimes offer stories that actually took place?

    So just relax, stop trying to put the Program in more turmoil than ever with a Mid-season termination, and then… don’t be shocked to see us next year, hailing the arrival of a new Savior, if one really does come.