Dedicated to the HATRED of all things trOJan

“All we need is one P.I.N., Rodney!”

O.J. Lite:  Tastes great!  Less killing!

O.J. Mayo will NOT be charged, even if he cashed in on Rodney Guillory’s Sickle Cell Credit Card

Another day, another skating trOJan.

The California Attorney General announced this week that ex-trojan O.J. Mayo is not a target of their investigation into the fraudulent use of a bogus charity credit card.  The A.G.’s case is aimed at O.J.’s mentor Rodney Guillory, and Guillory’s felon-buddy who once pretended to be the Red Cross, and their purported Charity, but not the RECIPIENT of the allegedly-illegal funds. 

So, just like the whole usc program, another trojan will get off due to ignorance.  Apparently, there is no way to prove that O.J. KNEW that the card he was using to buy himself bling was being used in violation of State and Federal Tax and Charity Laws (Louis Johnson’s eyewitness testimony notwithstanding).  Just because the card said Sickle Cell Anemia on it, and O.J. doesn’t have Sickle Cell Anemia, doesn’t mean that he could put 2 and 2 together.  After all, he wasn’t a Math major at Figueroa Tech, where the Hallowed Halls are more famous for Meth than Math, anyway.

On TV Crime shows, they always say that it doesn’t matter if they KNOW whether something is stolen or not — If you are caught with “hot” goods, you are Guilty.  But that’s TV, and this is USC. 

If O.J. is complicit in this crime, he is not only thumbing his nose at the NCAA, but at every African-American on the planet.  Stealing from a Charity is one of the scuzziest greed-crimes out there, along with robbing the Church collection plate, stealing candy from babies, and bilking old people out of their life savings with phony real estate scams.  But when you do it to “your own people,” that has got to sting a little bit more.

But as far as the Attorney General is concerned, O.J. is completely innocent, even if his new Porsche was bought with the Sickle Cell credit card.  Apparently, it’s not Mayo’s responsibility to verify whether or not he is a charity case.  Perhaps Mayo thought that since he is indeed Black, and therefore in the higher-risk group for getting the disease, that he was entitled to some preventative measures.  Everyone knows that Plasma is a medical necessity that is known to ward off Sickle Cell.  [Disclaimer:  We don’t really think that his widescreen was purchased with the credit card in question.   But if the A.G. is any good, we’ll soon find out what WAS.]

And speaking of disease, another one is Addiction, and it appears that Tatum O’Neal may or may not have that affliction.

Tatum was busted Sunday in a sting, for buying Crack Cocaine.  But she has a completely viable explanation:  She was doing research for an upcoming role.  Of course — Paramount Pictures instructed the Oscar-winning Actress to hit the streets looking for Blow, in order to get her SECOND Oscar, only 34 years after her first one.

O’Neal has been claiming to be “clean,” having long ago kicked her addiction to Heroin, which cost her custody of her kids, after her divorce from John McEnroe.  But even after all those years of first-hand knowledge of being a junkie, she felt it necessary to experience the rush of buying some Crack from an Undercover Cop?  Sure, why not?  Crack is a much different experience from Heroin, and when you’re an Oscar-winner, you have to master every nuance.

IF, and that’s a very big IF, IF she is indeed a junkie and HAS been amped up on Coke all this time, it would certainly explain a few things we heard from some crewmembers from a show she did a couple of years ago in San Diego.  They said that her nickname is “Tantrum O’Neal,” because she was a holy terror on set.  Supposedly during a rehearsal, she saw two crewpeople hugging offstage.  It was a “long time, no see” GREETING hug, but since it distracted her, Tantrum decreed that there will be no more hugging on set.  Sounds more like an excuse for forgetting her lines, but FINE, we’ll let her have that one…but not THIS one: 

Apparently, she won’t do a scene if there are any Extras (background artists) moving in her eyeline.  For those of you who have no idea why that is so unprofessional:  Sometimes a camera moves, or the Actors move, and in order to achieve continuity across the different “takes,” the Extras have to continue their actions, even in her view.  To demand that they don’t is absolutely unheard of, which is why these reports are credible — because they are too INcredible to make up.

But we never wish the horrible disease of Addiction on anyone, so we hope that — just like Pete Townshend and his “special” Porn research — Tatum really was just doing research, and that she is back on a Set soon, banning public displays of affection however she sees fit, in order to elicit another Oscar-worthy performance from the little girl that was so good as an apprentice “guillory” in “Paper Moon.”

There’s a reason why we are sympathetic (sort of) to Addiction:  And that brings us to our next subject:  Our daily discussion of important Supreme Court decisions (yeah, right).   Actually… The U.S. Court yesterday decided to LET FANTASY FOOTBALL LIVE.

That’s not really the deal, but that’s how it has meaning to US.  We are addicted to our Fantasy Football League, thanks in part to Maurice Jones-Drew continuing to dramatically out-score Reggie Bush (who we REALLY wanted to Draft but didn’t have an early draft pick, thank God).  And the Court ruling says that ANYONE can run a Fantasy Baseball League, without EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.  The ruling states that using real MLB Stats — which are freely available to the public — does not require a license from the MLB.  It’s considered a First Amendment right, to gamble on public information.   The MLB has got a lot of balls to try to say that Rotisserie Leagues are unfairly profiting off the names of their Players, so we’d say that the Supreme Court hit this one out of the Park.

And speaking of a nice walk in the Park spoiled (for usc), the UCLA Men’s Golf Team beat Stanford and BeatSC this weekend to take home the Bruins’ Nation-leading 103rd NCAA National Title.  This avenges the Women’s team’s loss to the hated rivals, and sends more than one trojan Male to go back and work on his putts.  Just hope he doesn’t do it in one of those infamous yet helpful sc campus restrooms, or he might get lucky enough to stroke a hole in one.  [Sorry for ruining a perfectly nice article about Tantum’s Crack with that tasteless crack crack.  Blame it on our crack staff.] 

"“All we need is one P.I.N., Rodney!”" was published on June 2nd, 2008 and is listed in Blue & Gold News, News from the Dark Side, Non-Rivalry News.

Comments on "“All we need is one P.I.N., Rodney!”": 1 Comment

  1. UCLADal wrote,

    Not surprised about Tatum. The O’Neals are a pretty screwed up bunch just like some of our famous trojans. Maybe she wanted to do a documentary about the Marinovich’s (I think Todd, the “unemployed artist” is still in the clink). That would be one for the ages. The Girls Gone Wild guy could be the producer. I’m sure they’d find a part for The Juice too. Oh well. Never a dull moment these days.

    P.S. I know the world is now going to hell. It just cost me $59.27 to fill up my ’86 Toyota pick up. Good thing I’m starting to ride my bike to work. I’ll at least have some beer money for the end of the week. GO BRUINS!

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