A REY OF STUNSHINE

This strike is his third — Ex-trojan Rey Maualuga gets arrested for a 3rd time, after allegedly stunning a bar employee by striking him in the face

It’s a THIRD Degree Burn.  Former U$C Linebacker Rey Maualuga was busted this week — bringing his personal total up to three arrests — for allegedly bloodying the nose of a worker in a bar who –with unmitigated gall — DARED to ask Maualuga to leave because the bar was closing.

The NERVE of some of these bartenders!  Actually requesting for patrons to exit, when the bar was closed.  Did he invoke the classic “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here?”  Whatever he said, it must have offended the oft-troubled Maualuga, who apparently felt the compulsion to deck the guy.  Could alcohol have been involved?  At a bar?  Maualuga is a veteran of Alcoholics Anonymous, and has received counseling for substance-abuse-type issues.  Did he ever quit, and then fall off the wagon, or did he just never take the problem seriously?

Apparently, getting busted for DRUNK DRIVING in 2010 didn’t convince him to change his habits.  He got in big trouble with the NFL for that incident, in which he crashed his Pontiac, while reportedly getting tested at TWICE the legal limit for blood alcohol. It cost him a big chunk of his salary, so you would think that it might get his attention, but it looks like it didn’t sink in.

Anger Management, anyone?  Rey Rey has had the reputation of being a thug long before his NFL days.  His vicious and illegal late hit while at SC against Bruin QB Pat Cowan — and celebrating it afterwards — is still commonly re-broadcasted on TV, glorifying his criminal lack of class.  So of course he relishes his violent image, and is prone to resort to physical aggression when anything in life doesn’t go his way.  His FIRST arrest, for BATTERY back in 2005, was also for getting in a fight.  This is what they teach at O.J. University — Don’t solve your problems with words — Use your fists (or a knife) first, and let the lawyers sort it out later.

And, just like his first offense in ’05, his trojan-loving army of lawyers will probably get the whole case thrown out of court.  How much could it possibly cost the Bengals or trojan alumni network, to bribe a lowly bartender to forget the whole incident?  The Bengals certainly don’t want their star Linebacker to miss any more games due to a suspension.

With this latest arrest, Maualuga’s jersey sales will probably spike, as it only increases his Street Cred in today’s world.  And of course, all trojan fans will still idolize him.  Maybe they can hang a giant version of his jersey next to the one of O.J., that STILL graces the Coliseum at every trojan game.

“FIGHT On,” indeed.