All Natural (Too bad she’s not “au naturale”).

Ex-trojan didn’t REALLY come clean in his Steroid confession:  His Dealer says McGwire injected NOT to recuperate from injuries as he claims;  On the contrary, the “recipe” was specifically designed to make him bigger, stronger, and faster

“If Paris Hilton was to take that array, she could run over Dick Butkus.”

That is what ESPN has been told by lab rat Curtis Wenzlaff, the convicted Steroid Dealer who was ex-trojan Mark McGwire’s supplier while McGwire was cheating his way through his Major League career.  Wenzlaff chuckled when he heard McGwire’s recent confession.  Wenzlaff, who also juiced up Jose Canseco, says that the confession was bogus and insincere, containing a blatant lie that invalidates the whole confession.

McGwire claims that he only took the ‘roids for his HEALTH, to help get over some nagging injuries.  He says that he never took any drugs to enhance his performance or increase mass.  He went on to say that he would have broken all the records even without the drugs, because of his hand-to-eye coordination.

Wenzlaff calls “Bullsh*t” on all of that.

Wenzlaff says that he — by McGwire’s request — designed a specific ass-injection regimen of several different steroids, with the combined goal of making Mark bigger, stronger, and faster, in order to improve his performance on the field.  Wenzlaff says that steroids CAN be used for the purposes of health maintenance/injury recuperation, but NOT the recipe that McGwire was taking.  In addition, Wenzlaff insists that this particular combination of scrotum-shriveling toxins actually HELPS hand-to-eye coordination too.

As of this posting, McGwire nor his new employer the St. Louis Cardinals have responded to these new allegations.  What could they possibly say?  They must KNOW that McGwire is full of it, and any rebuttal he gives will just dig him a deeper hole in the court of public opinion.  Wenzlaff is the one guy who would absolutely know better, so his DENIAL is already going to put a huge dent in McGwire’s run at the Hall of Fame, a run which motivated the confession in the first place.

So, as always for trojans, SILENCE may be the best option.  In fact, a great many trojans are specifically told that they have the RIGHT to remain silent.  And most of them, like Reggie Bush and O.J. Mayo, exercise that right every time the NCAA comes knocking at their doors (like McGwire did in front of Congress).

The bottom line is that if you believe Wenzlaff, McGwire’s attempt to turn over a new leaf of honesty was chock full of lies.  Classic trojan:  Make a tearful confession of cheating in Baseball and deceiving Congress, but lie through your teeth DURING that very confession.


A little note:  If you are wondering why I didn’t mention the Cooper reprimand, the Lane Kiffin Waste Treatment Plant, or Kiffin kyping another Assistant, go back and look at the hidden captions on the Cheerleader photos following yesterday’s article (about the Abdul-Hamid/Washington game).

Below are three more muscle-flexing shots of my steroid-free little friend.

   Snooki Lite?

    I repeat:  This little hardbody has never been injected.

And finally: She’s a Gymnast, too (and I give her a 10.0).



  1. SVCATOSCMO Avatar

    Being an L.A. area transplant now living in the St. Louis area, who drives to work everyday on the Mark McRoider freeway, please allow me to indulge myself about this topic.

    Every year the Cardinals hold an event called the “Winter Warmup” Many current and ex-Cardinals show up to sign autographs (unfortunately at a price), and there is paraphernalia sold and other events that occur.

    Some of you may have heard about the 2010 version of the event held last weekend. Unfortunately, when McRoider showed up, he got a standing ovation, while Jack Clark (remember him Dodger fans?), who’s on the post game shows here on TV, was booed at his appearance because he said critical things about McRoider. To me it’s very embarrassing that Cardinal fans represented themselves this way, but I’m sure the same thing would happen in most, if not all, other major league cities.

    Let me assure you all that most Cardinal fans and St. Louis media do not feel the same as the “homers” at the winter warmup. The media here is rightly concerned about how McRoider has become a bigger-than-ever distraction because of his delusional comments, and will adversely affect the Cardinals all year long.

    And who is to blame the most for this current fiasco? Possibly the biggest enabler in the history of sports – Tony LaRussa. The Cardinal owners seem to have given a lifetime pass to LaRussa, and he takes advantage. It seems obvious that his urging the Cardinal brass to offer McRoider the batting coach position is mainly designed to increase McRoider’s chances at the HOF. However, in true condom fashion, McRoider proved that denial is not just a river in Egypt, and likely lessened his HOF chances in the process.

    McRoider is just another of LaRussa’s “untouchable” players who can do no wrong (others include Albert Pujols who, despite his greatness, rarely hustles out a ground ball, with no consequences, Yadier Molina (ditto), and the recently departed Rick Ankiel).

    I don’t think that Pujols does steroids, but if he did, he couldn’t pick a better manager to have his back.

  2. Breann Garcia Avatar
    Breann Garcia

    i like this!!

  3. Breann Garcia Avatar
    Breann Garcia

    also forgot to mention, nice pic! lol