Anaheim Rock City — KISS has Great Expectations for the new “L.A. KISS” Arena Football team that the iconic Hard Rock band is bringing to the O.C. in 2014, but if they don’t want to feel Sweet Pain, they better Shout It Out Loud and offer free Cold Gin if they want fans to Lick It Up… and they should have named the team the “Destroyers”

Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley of the rock band “KISS” are bringing “Football” back to L.A., sort of.  First of all, it’s not “really” L.A., it’s Orange County, since the games will be played in Anaheim, and it’s not “really” Football, since it’s ARENA Football, played inside the Honda Center.  But you still can’t dis KISS on this… At least they’re trying.

Simmons, who reportedly was worth around 750 million dollars a few years back, can certainly afford to run a small-time AFL franchise, but maybe not an NFL one, which could cost a Billion.  So the “Demon” is doing what he can to bring a Pro team to the Southland.  But doesn’t Gene know that there is already a “Professional” Football team in town?  Down in South Central, they have ‘roided thugs in cleats who are paid to play (according to former team member Marc Tyler, and according to everyone who heard the evidence that disgraced Reggie Bush).  It’s not those players’ fault they don’t PLAY like Professionals — chalk that one up to Head Coach Lane Kiffin, whom not one fan of the team wants in that position.  Luckily for local Football fans, they can still attend some games in Pasadena this year, where the players are good, the team doesn’t cheat, the Coach is respected, and the Victory Bell — painted in Blue — will be on display.

There is one good thing about buying season tickets to the L.A. KISS in 2014 — The season ticket holders will get free tickets to attend a KISS concert.  And even though the musical talent level is not Hall of Fame-worthy, the showmanship certainly is.  You just gotta hope the Football team will be half as entertaining as the band.  Maybe they will get some Bruins to play for them — They better hurry, because at the rate Jim Mora is going, all the Bruin grads will be heading straight for the NFL.