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USC BATHROOMS: WHERE YOUNG GAY SENATORS ARE MADE

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Every time a celebrity gets busted (i.e. Vick, Sen. Craig), the resulting scrutiny exposes more trojan crimes; This time it’s Gay trojan men doing each other in campus restrooms

When Michael Vick got in trouble for Dog-Fighting, the public was up in ar Every time a celebrity gets busted (i.e. Vick, Sen. Craig), the resulting scrutiny exposes more trojan crimes; This time it’s Gay trojan men doing each other in campus restrooms When Michael Vick got in trouble for Dog-Fighting, the public was up in arms, and every famous Dog Fighting guy was vulnerable to new attacks. And lo and behold, the guy who is taking the most heat (and rightfully so) is trojan Assistant Football Coach Todd McNair, who was convicted of between 17 and 22 counts (depending on your source) “related” to Dog-Fighting.

Now Vick’s mess is being pushed off the front page by the absolutely-no-doubt-about-it GAY Senator Craig’s guilty plea to trying to have sex with a male stranger in a Minnesota Airport Bathroom. Craig is denying everything, just like O.J. and Todd McNair. And we MEAN: “JUST LIKE.” In other words, you’d have to be 3/4 brain dead to buy any of the bullcrap that the three of them are still pitching.


Craig claims that he only touched the guy in the next stall because of having a “wide stance.” And if he didn’t get caught until he was giving the guy a hummer, he could have blamed that on having a wide mouth.

There is no doubt that these “anti-Gay” dinosaur Politicians have a lot in common with the infamous Catholic Priests. The more a person hates Homosexuality, the more likely that person is to wind up stroking a penis in the neighboring stall.

And according to CBS (not some amateur blog, but the actual CBS Television Network), that’s exactly what’s going on at usc.

Apparently, trojans and non-trojans alike are CRUISING FOR GAY SEX, by meeting up in sc campus bathrooms, and doing it in the stalls. It is becoming a “growth” industry, as now there are ads all over “Craig’s List,” recruiting more men to take part in the trojan merriment.

The trojan cops are saying that CBS is BLOWING the story out of proportion. Well, SOMETHING is definitely getting blown.

Like that disgusting campus wasn’t already a dangerous place — Now you can’t even take a leak without worrying about some trojan eyeballing your package and then making you an offer.

Around campus, this perverted, PUBLIC WANG-DIDDLING behavior is being called, in honor of Pete Carroll, “GIVING PETER A HIGH FIVE.”

Now, before the trojan-sympathizers get their panties in a bunch (if they are wearing any, since they only “get in the way” of a blind tug-job from a stranger), we realize that this sort of aberrant behavior occurs at all schools, even in Westwood. The difference is that when it happens anywhere else, they DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, whereas at sc, it just runs rampant. And while the unchecked escalation spreads across the whole campus, turning it into an epidemic, the campus police say that it’s not as big of a deal as people are making it, especially since it could happen anywhere.

Okay, so sex in the bathrooms is okay? In that case, can they hang a neck tie on the door knob so normal people and their CHILDREN can be spared the sights and sounds of two dudes sharing explosive simultaneous orgasms?

This “position,” that what’s going on is no big deal, is eerily similar to Pete Carroll’s statements this week, that Todd McNair’s DOG NEGLECT was also no big deal, and not at all a reason for McNair to not have been hired.

Yesterday we said that if Carroll feels that way, we’d like to see HIM or his Dog subjected to the exact same mistreatment. Well, anyone who thinks that the public bathroom sex is not a problem — We hope those people are sitting in a stall tomorrow, when the door flies open, and a young trojan Senator gets down on his knees and starts fellating them.

FROM THE DOG-HOUSE TO THE OUT-HOUSE, FROM THE PENT-HOUSE, TO THE DOG-HOUSE —

Remember when Bruin Freddie Mitchell of the Eagles was about to play in the Super Bowl against New England, and the Pats Coach and one of his Players bad-mouthed Freddie?

Coach Bill Belichick proved his total lack of class by taking some uncalled-for pot shots at Mitchell. But it was Patriot D-Back Rodney Harrison that really shot his mouth off. He said that Freddie sucked, and that he wouldn’t do anything against Harrison.

Well, today, we have just found out where Harrison gets all his trojan-like arrogance: From a bottle of HUMAN GROWTH HORMONES. Yup, Harrison admitted to Federal Investigators today that he took the illegal STEROIDS, and he was immediately suspended for the first four games of this season.

Well, well, well. Look who’s the Loser NOW! So, Harrison DISRESPECTED a Bruin, and now Harrison is thoroughly disrespected by the entire World of Sports. What a coward: He couldn’t handle the NFL on his own, so he turned to anabolic cheating. Well, we KNEW he was a scumbag way back when, but NOW, everyone else knows it too.

Look for Pete Carroll to CONDONE the cheating, and offer Harrison a positon on his staff. And speaking of a POSITION on his STAFF, someone better tell Harrison to avoid the bathrooms when he gets to campus, because steroids shrink the testes, and Harrison might get depressed when he DOESN’T get a good offer, from the other side of the hole, in the wall of his stall.

Below is a fark for mantis.  Please ignore.


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"USC BATHROOMS: WHERE YOUNG GAY SENATORS ARE MADE" was published on September 1st, 2007 and is listed in News from the Dark Side.

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