Month: June 2010

  • THE YEAR OF THE ‘COCK COMES TOO SOON FOR UCLA

    The Bruins pull several boners, including another self-inflicted injury, as they go down to the Gamecocks 2-1 in 11 innings, ending the College World Series prematurely, instead of forcing a climactic Rubber Game Roosters don’t lay eggs. The South Carolina Gamecocks are the College Baseball National Champions for the first time ever, after…

  • BAGELS, BUT NO LOCKS

    Smoked:  Bruins melt down and get toasted 7-1, as USC Starter Blake Cooper brings the (cream) cheese, to bagel UCLA for 8 innings;  But don’t give the ‘Cocks Rings just yet — Game 1 was served up to them on a silver platter Something’s Fishy.  Those were NOT the real…

  • ALUMINUM BATS, WOODEN SPIRIT

    While John Wooden is Memorialized, the “JW”-clad Baseball Bruins rise above TCU 10-3 to Success-fully reach the top of the Pyramid, alongside the REAL “USC” (South Carolina, not South Central) — UCLA now has to only “BeatSC” in a Best-of-3 Series to bring the second NCAA Title to Westwood since the Wizard went behind the…

  • HOOKED ON A-PPEALING

    From Wheeling, Dealing, and Stealing, to Reeling, Kneeling, and Appealing:  The trojans drop to their knees and beg for Mercy, because although they finally accept responsibility for the wrongdoing, they still deny doing anything wrong Is there a ceiling to the squealing about feeling unappealing?  The u$c football team is quickly…

  • DEALER CHOICE

    Dealer, or no Dealer:  Pete Carroll scores ex-trojan Kevin Ellison for the Seahawks, despite Ellison’s recent arrest for Speeding through a School Zone with a bag of 100 Vicodin “Character Counts,” unless you are a trojan.  Go ahead — Break the law, do drugs, sell drugs, endanger little kids’ lives……

  • UCLA HITS THE DE-FROGGER

                Increased visibility:  Bruins lean on the Horned Frogs 6-3, and drive to within 1 win of the Championship Round  UCLA Baseball can see clearly now the Frogs are gone:  After beating TCU 6-3 in the Winner’s Bracket, the Bruins are now only 1 victory…

  • BRICKTORY!

    Cold Lakers Cold-Cock Cocky Celtics:  L.A. Sucks… then sucks it up and makes arrogant Boston hit the bricks, as the Lakers Ring up their 2nd straight NBA Title, much sweeter than ’09 because it’s over their hated Rival (the 2nd hated Rival to get slapped this month… but this time there won’t…

  • CARROLL O’CONNER

    Gee, Our Old LenDale Ran Great:  There’s no Stifling Dingbat Conman Pete Carroll, whose Meatheaded denials from the safety of his Seattle Bunker Stretch the limits of believability Pete Carroll is learning that you can’t always have your cake and Edith too.  Lear-ing at the NCAA is his Norm, now…

  • MOTIVATION DOMINATION

    Lakers play with sense of urgency to blow out listless Celtics by 22, setting up only the third Finals Game 7 in 21 years (take that, Conspiracy Theorists) The 2010 NBA Finals is now a Best-of-1 Series.  And the Referees did not make it so.  Once again, “wanting it more” was…

  • “MARILYN ALICE” DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

    Burstyn out:  Gritty ex-UCLA Dance-Teamer’s all-girl group “Marilyn Alice” is going places [ARTICLE EDITED ON 6/17/10]  UCLA Dance-Teamer Update:  Kelly is a former UCLA Dance Team Member from the 2005-6 era, when the Dance Team was starting to be widely recognized as the Nation’s Hottest, and she is in an all-girl band called…

  • ZENYATTA, THEN SLAUGHTA’

    Whipped Titan runs down rivals to make World History, then run-down Bruins whip rival Titans to make World Series In big time College Basketball, there is “88 STRAIGHT.”  In big time Pro Basketball, there is “33 Straight.”  In big time Baseball, there is “56 Straight.”  In the big-time Rivalry, there’s…

  • got t-shirts?

    http://www.cafepress.com/beatsc Sanction one up today, and if anyone asks, tell ’em:  “I’m with the Ban!” —————————————————————————————-