Month: October 2015
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WHO GIVES? A FLYING DUCK!
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Duck-Aid of the Decade — Thanks to a controversial call, Oregon knocks off ASU in Triple Overtime, lifting UCLA back into a position where the Bruins control their own destiny in terms of winning the Pac-12 Championship Quacked up! Well, that didn’t take long. Just a couple of weeks after…
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LIVING IN A FANTASY (FOOTBALL) WORLD
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Daft Kings and Fan Drool — I love Fantasy Football and hope it stays legal, but WHAT the “F” are the two big companies thinking, by (allegedly) rigging things, WHO the “F” is claiming that it isn’t really “gambling,” and WHY the “F” did they discuss it at the Republican…
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EXPECTING TO SMOKE COLORADO IN A LAUGHER
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Can’t let the season go to Pot — UCLA is installed as a 21-point favorite over 4-4 Colorado, who will be fired up, because, to be blunt, their pipe dream is to bogart the ball, and burn the Bruins in UCLA’s own joint (on the Rose Bowl grass), and only…
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TROJAN’S “JEM” FLOPS, BUT BRUIN GEMS ARE TOPS
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Trojan Completes a Bomb — Highly-decorated u$c film school graduate Jon Chu delivers the biggest box office flop in the history of Universal Pictures, as his live-action movie version of the beloved 80’s cartoon Jem & the Holograms gets “Universally” panned by critics and fans, and finishes FIFTEENTH on its…
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THE LACK-OF-JACK BLACK-SACK-ATTACK GETS THE BRUINS BACK ON TRACK IN THE PAC
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No longer out of whack, and that’s no smack, so cut them some slack — UCLA snaps out of their funk to destroy the Cal Foldin’ Bears 40-24, as the Bruins notch 5 Sacks, Josh Rosen throws a UCLA Record 34 completions for 399 yards and 3 TD’s, and Ka’imi…
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ABOUT FACE
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Jump around! Jump Around! — Can the Bruins get it together and beat Cal tonight, to salvage their season and get back on the right track? With just a little bit of help, maybe even from u$c, UCLA could still attain success this year. They won’t be going to the…
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PRO BRUINS PROS, ANTI TROJANS CONS
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A League That We Own — Two UCLA players are instrumental in their NFL Teams’ victories this weekend, while several ex-trojan heroes are goats in their teams’ unexpected losses It’s probably just a coincidence, but after a week where trojan pride was at an all time low, a bunch of…
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TROJANS CAN GO TO HEL…TON
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Clay Nation — After u$c chokes away a 4th quarter lead against Notre Dame due to bad play calling and poor game management, Bruin fans should start a campaign to get woozy Haden to lift Head Coach Clay Helton’s “interim” tag What a fortnight for the trojans. First they lose…
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ALL-AMERICAN HORROR STORY
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Involuntary Stan-slaughter — With UCLA missing 3 All-American level Defenders, Stanford beats the Bruins to a bloody pulp, behind an All-American assault by Running Back Christian McCaffrey, who amasses 369 Total Yards and 4 Touchdowns in a 56-35 massacre It was no contest. For the 8th straight time, Stanford has…
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“SHUNNING-RUNNING” CUNNING, GUNNING 4 STUNNING
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Not Funning –The last 3 Bruin games have turned out drastically different than I expected, and tonight it will take clever, creative coaching by Jim Mora and staff to break their losing streak to Stanford, thereby shocking me for the 4th time in a row After UCLA’s first two games…
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ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FORCED FIRES (BUT NOT IF YOU GO 3-2)
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Build a better souse trap — Trojans show no sympathy to disease-ridden Sarkisian, firing him on the very day he enters rehab for his alcoholism Sympathy from the Devils? Not quite. Just one day after expressing sorrow and concern for Head trojan Football Coach Steve Sarkisian, U$C Athletic Director Pat…
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LUSH HOUR 2
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Absolut Krusty — Just several weeks after drunkenly humiliating himself and his “school” at a rally, Clown College Coach Steve Sarkisian “allegedly” shows up drunk to practice, is escorted off campus, and forced to take an indefinite leave of absence from his beleaguered u$c Football team After the trojans’ embarrassing…