Month: January 2011
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LAZERIC JONES & THE TEMPE OF DOOM
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Bruins of the Lost (& Found) Arc — The snake-bit Sun Devils go on a crusade in the desert and dig out of a 15-point hole to force OT, but Jones and the Bruins suddenly become arc-heologists, whipping up a holy trilogy of three’s to excavate lost treasure And just when…
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JUNK MAYO
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Stamp of disapproval — Yet ANOTHER cheating ex-trojan gets labelled as a Steroid Abuser, as the NBA delivers a $400,000, 10-game suspension to Memphis’ O. J. Mayo, while in a nearby Zip Code, the Titans mark ex-trojan Jeff Fisher “Return to Sender” O.J. Mayo is a Juicer? Well, that explains why he…
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LITTLE GOLD MAN FOR BLUE & GOLD MAN?
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UCLA grad James Franco gets nominated for the Best Actor Oscar, for his disarming performance in “127 Hours” Maybe no Bruin will win the Heisman Trophy any time soon, but a Bruin may win the Academy Award for Best Actor, in about 777 hours. James Franco — yes, the frenemy from “Spiderman”…
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PLEASE DON’T HIRE CARRIER… OF S.C.-LIOSIS
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Neuheisel is reportedly considering ex-trojan Mark Carrier for Defensive Coordinator — What part of “Rivalry” doesn’t Rick understand? To borrow a line from “King of the Hill” — I’M TRYING TO STOP AN OUTBREAK, AND NEUHEISEL IS DRIVING THE MONKEY TO THE AIRPORT!!!!!! And in this case, the “monkey” is…
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MARK SANCHEZ: THE SHERIFF OF SNOTTINGHAM
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The Epickome of Trojan Class: Before getting wiped out of the Playoffs in Picksburgh, ex-trojan Mark Sanchez gets caught on TV picking his nose, and wiping the snot on his back-up, Mark Brunell It’s either Trojan Class, or it’s snot. Not since “Caddyshack” has there been a louder “snot heard ’round…
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UCLA WINS, TROJANS LOSE, SC SPINS, STAFON SUES
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The Blue & Gold beat the Cardinal; The Golden Bears beat the Cardinal & Gold; Haden & Co. beg for Mercy, and Johnson wants some reimburse-y Talk about “Connect Four”… Four things happened yesterday that might be of interest to fans of The Rivalry, starting with the Bruins stringing together their fourth…
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ESCAPE CLAWS
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Bears claw back from 15 down with 9 minutes left (and 14 down with 4 minutes left, and 8 down with 1 minute left) to tie game with 10 seconds left, but Nelson’s right claw tips in game-winner with 2 seconds left, as Bruins barely escape with grisly 86-84 victory…
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‘SON GASSES AT KNIGHT
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Shades of Hart — After UCLA falls down by 12, Jerime Anderson hits the gas, and he and Malcolm Lee smoke the Ducks in Matthew Knight Arena, 67-59 The difference between the usual Jerime Anderson, and the Jerime Anderson who played against Oregon, was Knight & Day. The NEW Jerime…
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NO CIALIS IN CORVALLIS
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Bruins start out solid, but dysfunction and go limp against the Beavers, before coming back big to squeeze out a 62-57 victory, with Smith and Jones rising to the occasion to make the money shots If UCLA’s effort ever lasts for the entire 40 minutes, call a Doctor. At first,…
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LIVE AND LET DYER
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Auburn survives the SPECTRE of defeat and Cam Newton’s mis-Q’s to snip Oregon 22-19 for the BCS Title, thanks to Michael Dyer’s 134 yards rushing and last-minute heroic stunt For those of you who hate Heisman Trophy winner Cam Newton, take heart — The suspected cheater and thief did more…
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GOING TO “L” IN A H(OWL)ANDBASKET
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“L” Foldo: Lazeric, Lee, Lamb and Lane are Lame, as UCLA Loses Lead, to Log their 4th “L” in a row against $C — It’s time for Howland to change his approach of downplaying the Rivalry At least Lazeric Jones has an excuse: He really was “lame,” with his mangled finger. But Malcolm Lee, Tyler…
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UP THE DOWN STEROID
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Hall of Justice: Admitted cheating trojan Mark McGwire, infamous for getting shots in his ass, gets a shot in the mouth from Hall of Fame voters, who deny his Induction by 348 votes, an even larger amount than last year Roberto Alomar — a guy who spit on an Umpire — got in, but lying,…