Dedicated to the HATRED of all things trOJan


Don’t take the car, you’ll kill yourself! — Alabama Offensive Coordinator, Play-caller, and former alcoholic u$c Head Coach Steve Sarkisian blows Alabama’s 14-point lead by failing to convert the Crimson Tide’s LAST TWELVE 3rd Down attempts, as Clemson overcomes a late double-digit deficit to win the National Championship on a Touchdown with 1 second left, 35-31

The boozer is a loser.  The rummy is crummy.  The Sheriff is a swigger.  Alabama’s Alcoholic’s not Anonymous.

Someone call his sponsor:  Alabama’s (recovering?) alcoholic O.C. Steve Sarkisian might go on another bender tonight, to drown his sorrows, and who could blame him?  His Crimson Tide Offense couldn’t keep Clemson’s Offense off the field in the second half, as Tiger QB Deshaun Watson erased a 10-point margin, and did just enough to put Clemson over the top in a 35-31 nailbiter.

The key stat of the game?  Alabama failed to convert 12 straight 3rd Down tries in the second half.  Their LAST 12, as a matter of fact.  With all that talent, which was able to put 31 points up on one of the Country’s best Defenses, how do you possibly blow 12 consecutive 3rd Downs??  That’s all about bad play-calling, and getting blatantly OUT-COACHED.

Put a Tiger(-enabler) in your (drunk) Tank!

Now to be fair, let’s give Sark some credit:  His offense did indeed score 31 points, against a stellar Defense, and that is usually plenty for Alabama to win.  Not only that, but they did it with a Freshman QB at the helm, and more importantly, WITHOUT stud Running Back Bo Scarbrough for most of the 2nd Half.  Scarbrough was awesome in the 1st Half, tearing off two long tough TD runs, but an injury knocked him out, and the Bama Offense was never the same after that.

Even without Scarbrough, the Tide still led all the way until the 4:38 mark, when Clemson got their first lead.  But Sark’s unit put together a very impressive drive, which included a 4th Down conversion and a trick play double-pass, and culminated with QB Jalen Hurts scrambling for a 30-yard TD with 2 minutes left.

As Alabama and Sark were probably dreaming of champagne-shower celebrations, Clemson and Watson calmly marched back down the field, and scored on a 1-yard TD pass to Hunter Renfrow — his second TD catch of the night — to clinch the Title.   Two other Tiger Receivers, Mike Williams and Jordan Leggett, also had huge Receptions that contributed mightily to the victory.

Despite the 12 straight failed 3rd Down conversions, Sark really has no reason to jump off the wagon.  Considering they got the go-ahead TD with 2 minutes left, and considering that he was only in charge for a week, after Lane Kiffin was humiliatingly  given his walking papers, you gotta cut the guy some slack.  No real shame in losing in the final second to a great Clemson team.  And the Tide will be back strong next year, with Hurts returning with a year of experience under his belt.  All that being said… No one around here CRIED WHEN THE TIDE DIED.

"SHOULDA NEVER GIVEN THE KEYS TO SARKISIAN" was published on January 9th, 2017 and is listed in News from the Dark Side, Non-Rivalry News.


  1. JC wrote,

    How do we know he’s a “former” alcoholic?

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