Dedicated to the HATRED of all things trOJan


UCLA rings up two more Top Ten Rankings, for producing Professional athletes, and for being Extreme Sports-friendly

Before the advent of *69, kids used to make prank phone calls, like calling a bowling alley clerk, confirming he has 10-pound balls, and then asking him how the Hell he can walk.  Other classics were asking a store if they had Prince Albert in a can (“Then let him out!”), and asking someone if their refrigerator was running (“Then you better go catch it.”).  Since then, Bart Simpson has made millions chortle for 21 years, over his repeated calls to Moe’s Tavern, asking for people like “Homer Sexual” to be called to the phone (Moe:  “Hey everyone, I’m looking for a Homer Sexual!”)

But sooner or later, kids grow up, and have to pick a college to attend.  One way to help make that decision is to look at the various rankings of the Nation’s Universities.  UCLA is perennially around the top of the lists for all-around Best School, Best Medical School, Best All-Around Sports School, and of course, Most Applied-to School.  Recently, UCLA added two more Top Ten honors to their already-distinguished resume:  4th-most Professional Athletes Produced, and 10th Best School for Extreme Sports Enthusiasts.

According to a Top Five poll published by [ ], UCLA currently has FIFTY-NINE Bruins succeeding as Professional athletes in the major Sports.  And even without the benefit of an Ice Hockey program, UCLA still placed 4th, behind only Michigan, Ohio State, and Miami.  Tied for 5th were Florida State and Notre Dame, with U$C nowhere to be found.  Of course, the trojans have the most Professional athletes of any school, but none of them have graduated — they just get paid to play at $C.

And in a brand new Poll at [ ], UCLA came in 10th for being great for Extreme Sports fans.  The University of Hawaii came in 1st, thanks to their access to some of the best surfing in the World, as well as hiking, snorkeling, SCUBA diving, rock climbing, zip lining, mountain biking, and windsurfing.

But UCLA just squeaked onto the list, due to the campus’ proximity to the beach, for surfing and windsurfing, as well as to the mountains, for hiking and mountain biking.  They don’t even mention the nearby ski resorts.  But they do give UCLA credit for having several clubs that support Sports like Kayaking.  Finally, UCLA gets bonus points because the X-games have been held in L.A. for the last 8 years.

Once again, usc was nowhere to be found.  And no one else from the Pro Athletes list made the Extreme Sports list, so overall, across the two Rankings, UCLA is the Grand Prize winner.



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"RANK CALLS" was published on August 12th, 2011 and is listed in Blue & Gold News.

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