Dedicated to the HATRED of all things trOJan


Attn: Wives (and friends) of Bruin Fans — The following iron-clad rules were written by a long-time UCLA die-hard, re-printed here for you to master and unflinchingly obey


2010 UCLA Football Schedule & Rules

Sept 4th Kansas State Manhattan ABC 12:30 pm
Sept 11th Stanford Rose Bowl ESPN 7:30 pm
Sept. 18th Houston Rose Bowl FSN 7:30 pm
Sept. 25th Texas Austin ABC 12:30/5:00
Oct. 2rd Washington St. Rose Bowl Prime Ticket 12:30 pm
Oct. 9th California Berkeley    
Oct. 21th (Thurs) Oregon Eugene ESPN 6:00 pm
Oct. 30st Arizona Rose Bowl    
Nov. 6th Oregon St. Rose Bowl    
Nov. 18th (Thurs) Washington Seattle ESPN 5:00 pm
Nov. 26st (Fri) Arizona St. Tempe FSN 12:30 pm
Dec. 4th USC Rose Bowl    

*dates are definite.  However, times are tentative and subject to change without prior notice.

HOME GAMES:  Barring an unforeseen bona-fide emergency situation, I will be attending ALL Home Games without limitation and/or exception.  “Bona-fide emergency situation” does NOT include functions such as birthday parties, weddings, religious ceremonies, most funerals, friend’s events, family celebrations, and especially, events that I “really need” to attend or events that I “really should” attend.  I require at least 3.0 hours pre-game time to prepare and 2.0 hours post-game time to return home.

AWAY GAMES:  All away games will be watched on television to the greatest extent possible and my status should be considered “generally unavailable” during those times.  I expressly reserve the right to invite any fellow UCLA fans, sober or unsober, to watch with me.  Snacks will be provided.  If, in my sole discretion, I choose to attend any “function” (see those listed above) during a televised game, I expressly reserve the right to bring a television, handheld or otherwise, or other electronic device to facilitate my unobstructed reception of the game.  I will require 45 minutes pre-gametime to prepare.  Further, I reserve exclusive use of the wireless internet bandwidth during this time as I may be involved in online “game chats” with fellow Bruin fans.

NOTES:  I expressly reserve the following personal rights on game day, home or away:

1.   To check all household DVRs to ensure there is sufficient memory available to record the entire game, and pre- and post-game analysis.  I will not be responsible for any programs I delete in this process.

2.  To watch a recording of the entire game, or any part thereof, at any time, including immediately upon my return home from said game;

3.  To be in any mood that is necessary and appropriate given the outcome of the game, including, but not limited to, ecstatic, joyous, content, frustrated or downright pissed-off; and

4.  To celebrate or commiserate in any way I see fit, including that which may be harmful or detrimental to my own overall health and well-being (but not that of any others, absent willful consent).

 Thank You In Advance For Your Anticipated Cooperation 

(Strict Adherence To This Schedule And The Foregoing Rules Will Be Generously Rewarded)

Larmz’ UCLA RULES 2010

UCLA Football 2010 Rules (in color)

UCLA Rules 2010 (Word)

2010 UCLA Rules (Corel)



The following photo is of some Bruin trading cards, just to illustrate their existence to someone on BruinZone






















"LARMZ’ RULES FOR UCLA FOOTBALL 2010" was published on August 4th, 2010 and is listed in Blue & Gold News.

Comments on "LARMZ’ RULES FOR UCLA FOOTBALL 2010": 4 Comments

  1. UCLADal wrote,

    You’re a good guy for posting this T-H. Larmz is a great Bruin and a die-hard fan that bleeds Blue and Gold with the best of them.

  2. GaryK wrote,

    Seeing no time listed for the suc game has me in a cold sweat. How is their penalty going to affect this? Tell me that the game will still be televised.

    [T-H’s Note: Yes, it WILL be televised, because u$c didn’t get the TV Ban that they so richly deserve.]

  3. Jake wrote,

    Can’t wait to see them play at Texas, tough.

  4. JoeBruin wrote,

    Wow, Larmz, I remember that name from bruinville 4 years ago. He created the most epic UCLA tribute video ever after 13-9. I just watched it and it still brings back emotions (especially since I can see myself in it for a few seconds, haha):

Copyright © 2007 All photos and stories herein are sole property of
Any commercial re-use without express written permission is strictly prohibited, and will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.