Month: May 2009

  • TORRE, TORII, TORI, (HIS-)TORY

    The “Tories” are the Toast of the Town, but King James is just Toast:  Joe knows, Hunter crows, Tori glows, but LeBron blows “Amazing Tories” A long time ago, the California Angels had a great Color Commentator named Joe Torre.  Joe was a former ballplayer who knew the game inside…

  • SKIPPER & LITTLE BUDDY SHISHKA-BOB DENVER

    All Hale Kobe Bryant, Trevor Ariza, and the Lakers’ fearless crew, as they cast away the Nuggets 119-92, and look to avoid a re-run of last season’s un-comedic NBA Finals Series Finale The next one’s for the Whole Ma-gilla(gan).  Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Gilles? The Lakers’ tiny ship was tossed, but not only does…

  • ALL HAIL HALO’S AND HELIO

    Just Another Halo (& Helio) Victory:  Castroneves dodges Dan & Danica, then burns rubber on a seriously wide-open Freeway to win his 3rd Indy 500, while Angels burn Dodgers, winning 3rd & rubber game of Freeway Series He-men of the World can breathe easy:  Despite getting a scare from Danica…

  • KOBE SUCKS… THE LIFE OUT OF DENVER

    As Nugget fans chant “Kobe sucks,” Kobe sucks all the air out of the arena, by dominating the final minutes in the Lakers’ 103- 97 Game 3 win;  Trevor Ariza hits 2 big 4th quarter 3’s and snatches a game-changing, last-minute steal (again!) to help Bryant give the homecourt advantage back to L.A.…

  • FILET-O-FISH

    Not-So-Happy Meal:  Instead of frying Nuggets, Derek Fisher’s hotly-contested, last-second airball guts the Lakers’ home court advantage Don’t blame Derek Fisher.  It wasn’t Derek’s fault that he got nothing but air on his desperation 3-pointer at the end of Game 2.  Nene, a very tall Nugget defender, was flying in his…

  • CARMELO’S NUGGETS DRAINED BY ARIZA’S SNATCH

    Bruin/Laker Trevor Ariza’s huge steal with 30 seconds left helps L.A. sack the Nuggets 105-103, despite trailing for most of the game Another Laker Playoff Victory, another double-Bruin 4th quarter contribution, and this time, the contribution included the game-saving Play of the Night. The Denver Nuggets came into town fired up,…

  • BRUINS BOLDLY GO WHERE NO TROJAN WILL GO THIS YEAR

    As the prosperous new Star Trek warps past $100 Million, Ariza, Farmar, and the Lakers topple the Rockets to land in the Conference Finals, while Scalabrine, Pruitt, and the Celtics are beamed away Prime Directive #1:  Eliminate all trojans. That’s exactly what Orlando did last night — They knocked out…

  • The SCums of Beverly Hills

    Beverly Hills, 9021-ho:  usc Head Coach Tim Floyd is accused of giving $1000 to Mayo on Rodeo O.J. Mayo’s local fans may pronounce it “ROE-dio,” but Mayo knew exactly what Ro-DAY-o Drive is all about, and that’s BIG, BIG dollars (not cattle-roping).  And according to Mayo-insider Louis Johnson, big money is exactly what…

  • NICE

    Pauley renovation, Laker renovation, and another UCLA NCAA Title — All that and two National Championships taken away from the trojans BY Bruins — a lot of nice things have been going down lately Three times more bathrooms.  That alone is worth $180 Million. For anyone who has ever tried to go to the Rest…

  • SURVIVAL OF THE TWITTEST

    Tweet Emotion — Now you can follow Trojan-Hater on “TWITTER” You can’t go one normal day without hearing about Twitter.com.  From Jimmy Fallon to Derek Fisher, everyone is doing it, as the phenomenon sweeps across the Country.  So, instead of waiting the usual two years until it’s yesterday’s news and I’d have…

  • HE’S HALF THE MANNY USED TO BE

    Manny Being Womanny:  Suspended 50 games for taking female fertility drugs commonly used after steroids, Ramirez has everyone changing their minds about his Hall of Famer status Manny Ramirez just went from being mentioned in the same breath with legendary athlete (and Bruin) Jackie Robinson, to being forever associated with  presumed steroid abuser…

  • AUDS & ENDS

    Lately, from the Hills of Westwood to the moral sinkhole across town, there’s been no end of stuff to audit It’s been a mini-event filled week around here — Lots of little things have happened, but no ONE thing worthy of celebrating or cursing all by itself.  So today it’s time to roll…