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Archive for January, 2017

  • CURED HAM

    Hamilton Be Scoreville — Isaac Hamilton purées his slump, tying the UCLA record with 9 Three-Pointers and scoring 33, as the #3 Bruins Honeybake the Sun Devils 102-80 to ascend to 19-1 Last week, Isaac Hamilton showed signs of breaking out of his deep shooting funk.  On Thursday night, like a Hamilton Beach Scovill electric blender, he […]

  • BEDTIME FOR LONZO

    No one can resist our Sweaty Ball — Wooden Award Favorite Lonzo Ball plays all 40 minutes, leads UCLA with 17 Points, 8 Assists, and FIVE Steals, and carries the Bruins back from a 9-Point, 2nd Half deficit to boot the Utes, 83-82, along with crucial contributions from determined Aaron Holiday, “perfect” Thomas Welsh, and […]

  • THREE MIND BRYCE

    Three mined Bryce; Three NINED Bryce; See how they fall; See how we ball — Bryce Alford hits NINE of UCLA’s all-time high NINETEEN Three-pointers on his way to 37 Points, as the Bruins make Colorado look like “THREE stooges,” carving out a 104-89 victory.  Have you ever seen such a sight in your life? […]

  • SHOULDA NEVER GIVEN THE KEYS TO SARKISIAN

    Don’t take the car, you’ll kill yourself! — Alabama Offensive Coordinator, Play-caller, and former alcoholic u$c Head Coach Steve Sarkisian blows Alabama’s 14-point lead by failing to convert the Crimson Tide’s LAST TWELVE 3rd Down attempts, as Clemson overcomes a late double-digit deficit to win the National Championship on a Touchdown with 1 second left, […]

  • BALL THREE’S MAUL TREES

    “Hey you kids:  Get offa my Lonzo!”  — The sound of people criticizing Lonzo Ball’s unconventional shooting mechanics continues to fade, as he goes 4-for-5 from downtown and scores a team-high 21 points in UCLA’s 89-75 rout of Stanford Once again, UCLA blows out a Pac-12 opponent in the first half behind Lonzo Ball, T.J. […]

  • “…CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR”

    Panic in the Pavilion — Disco may have died, but the Golden Bears refused to, after a Bruin barrage led by Lonzo, Leaf, and Lil-ford had Cal down 24 points, as they cut the lead to 5 before #4 UCLA finally slams the door in the 81-71 victory Wanted:  Killer Instinct.  Will pay top dollar. […]

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