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Archive for November, 2007

  • STARCH OF THE PENGUINS

    UCLA’s Emperor Love puts game against Chilly Willies in Fridge and Mata-Real ices it, 83-52 “Penguin” — Great Batman villian, good frozen-lake swimmers, bad frozen yogurt sellers, and even worse frozen-rope shooters.  The Youngstown State Penguins laid an egg in Pauley on Monday night, getting blown away by a Bruin team still missing Darren Collison, Mike Roll, and […]

  • SITE FOR SORE EYES

    Wake up, wake up!  You’re having a dream — Karl’s not packing his bags just yet. It’s not fair to blame a guy for an epidemic of injuries… however… The problem is APPEARANCES.  If the whole Country thinks that Karl Dorrell is about to be fired, then Karl’s hottest Recruits might be thinking that too.  So now, […]

  • SLATERS OF THE LOST MARK

    Hellacious Kickoff Return TD resurrects Bruins, but Devils suck out UCLA’s soul with tough 24-20 win How mad can you be when your Scout Team comes within a whisker of beating the #9 team in the Country? New QB Osaar Rasshan gave his all, but even his VinceYoung-like scrambling ability couldn’t get the Bruins’ Offense in gear.  […]

  • BRUINS BEGIN A LOVEDRIVE

         There’s No One Like You…CLA’s Kevin Love, whose Dynamite debut in The Zoo Stings the Vikings, as the Bruins Rock Portland State Like a Hurricane, 69-48     This is not the Los Angeles Times, so don’t expect to see a full recap of every UCLA game this season.   But last night’s Official Opening Night […]

  • BUSH 86’S WRONG AGENT

    Two days after his wannabe Agent spills Bush’s Baked Beans to the NCAA, Reggie says “Nein, nein!” to his CHIEF Marketing Rep. First it was Vince Young who stole his thunder, now it’s Adrian Peterson. In response to the annointing of Rookie Sensation Adrian Peterson as the new official Media Darling, ex-trojan Reggie Bush has […]

  • In-line SCating

    Double JeoParty:  The Juice oozes back into Court today for the ultimate “do-over,” two days after overflowing Lake spills toxic evidence all over Bush, but hold the celebration — Trojan Tailbacks are harder to bring down OFF the field than on ODE TO O.J. & REGGIE [Emphasis on underlined syllables] If you’re hating That they’re skating […]

  • BEST WIZARD PARTY THIS SIDE OF HOGWARTS

    You’re invited, but your trojan friends can’t come In 10 days, there will be another installment of “Woodenstock,” an all-day celebration of the greatest Dynasty in the History of Sports.  The best part of all is, you are invited, it’s local, and it’s FREE.  A local superfan hosts a recurring party, where he shows extremely […]

  • BULL VIKE

    YIKES!  VIKES’ TYKE STRIKES:  Adrian Peterson’s 296-yard gi-Norv-ous performance breaks all-time NFL Rushing Record A couple of years ago, when UCLA whipped Oklahoma in the Rose Bowl, Bruin fans got to see some special College players in Blue and Gold, like Drew Olson, Marcedes Lewis, and Maurice Jones-Drew.  But they also got to eyewitness someone in red […]

  • BRING ON ANAHEIM AND CUC…AMONGA!

    UCLA derails AZUSA-Pacific with 111-61 rout, as fans start to board the Love Train The Basketball Bruins opened their Exhibition season last night, with a FIFTY-point thrashing of the Cougars from Azusa-Pacific in Pauley Pavilion.  The game marked the debut of last year’s High School Player of the Year, Kevin Love, and of course, since Love […]

  • DIRTY LAUNDRY

    Desperate Peter pulls a Siegfried & Roy, turning Zebras into (SCape)goats, but fails to WISK away Stain-ford, or SHOUT out ALL his rivals’ CHEERs over the turning TIDE It takes unmitigated gall to blame the fall of troy on bad officiating. Enter Pete Carroll. Carroll has apparently filed a formal complaint with the Pac-10 Officials, officially whining about the […]

  • CRAZY ‘VICH

    “Yeah, you’re Crazy, ‘Vich, but your luck’s so good you’re on top of it…” — Ex-trojan and repeat-offender Todd Marijuanovich BUCKs the odds and lands a CHERRY Laguna Beach “sentence” after he pleads Guilty to Evading Police and Possession of a Syringe and methamphetamines “THE WICKED (SAND) ‘VICH OF THE WEST?  We have vowed to stop […]

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