JERRY’S JUBILEE

September 13th, 2014
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Jerry is the Master of his Domain!

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ALL TIME ‘HEIS!!!! — After Brett Hundley goes down early with an injury, Jerry Neuheisel steps in and leads UCLA to a 20-17 comeback victory in Texas, highlighted by a 33-yard game-winning Touchdown pass to Jordan Payton with 3 minutes left; Meanwhile, the trojans choke in Boston College 37-31, getting out-gained on the ground, 452-20.

NEUHEISEL FOR HEISMAN!

30 years ago, a UCLA former Walk-On Quarterback named Rick Neuheisel  replaced an injured Bruin QB and led UCLA to a Pac-10 Championship.  He then went 25-for-27 Passing in the 1984 Rose Bowl, to earn the game’s MVP Award in a 45-9 upset victory over #4 Illinois.  Fast-forward to 2014,  and you could see Neuheisel watching on TV, as his son Jerry became an unexpected UCLA hero just like he was.

On Saturday night, the Bruins faced Texas in AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas — also known as “Jerry World,” after Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones — and no one on the planet could have predicted that JERRY Neuheisel would be the hero on this night.  Neuheisel plays behind Heisman candidate Brett Hundley, and according to some depth charts, was actually THIRD STRING behind Asantii Woulard as well.  But when Hundley hurt his left elbow while bracing his fall after a first-down scamper, it was Neuheisel to whom Coach Mora turned.

Neuheisel had never played in a big game, on a big stage, in a meaningful situation.  As soon as Neuheisel entered the game, the Longhorns were no longer the 8-point underdogs that they were at Kickoff.  Very few people felt that the Bruins could win without their Star QB.  But Mora and his team had confidence in Neuheisel, and they rallied around the popular back-up.

After he came in, Read the rest of this entry »

HADEN’S FOLLY, AND MAIDENS OF MOLLIE

September 8th, 2014

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King of the Clowns, Queens of the Town — This past Saturday, Southern Cal Clown College Athletic Director Pat Haden made a fool of himself, responding to a rule-violating text from the trojans’ Head Coach by bolting from the Press Box down to the field where he confronted game Officials during the u$c-Stanford game, an act which, for an A.D., is an egregious, unheard of violation of ethics and protocol;  At the same time, UCLA’s new Spirit Squad was making their debut at the Rose Bowl with all the CLASS that Haden lacks

Just about a week after u$c was called out on ESPN for being a “Clown College,” the leader of their Athletic Department pulled a shameless stunt that will prolong the school’s current status as a National laughingstock.  During the trojans’ game at Stanford, sc Head Coach Steve Sarkissian got into trouble with the Referees, drawing a penalty for arguing.  In fear of being ejected, he TEXTED his boss, Athletic Director Pat Haden, who was in the Press Box.  Of course it is blatantly AGAINST THE RULES for a Coach to send a text to the Press Box during a game, but as you know, trojans don’t think the rules apply to them.  In the text, Sarkissian requested Pat to come down and fight his battle with the Refs for him.

When questioned about this unethical, arrogant display, Haden did not show any remorse, or admit fault.  All he did was blame Sarkissian for imploring him to help the beleaguered Coach.  Hours later, several journalists and bloggers insisted that Haden face serious ramifications for his actions.  Some called for him to resign from the 13-person Playoff Selection Committee, due to Haden’s total lack of Integrity.  Then the Pac-12 announced that they would investigate the situation, which suggests a reprimand or punishment is imminent.  Only THEN did Pat change his tune.  Haden quickly released a statement of apology, trying to avoid the errors of arrogance made by his predecessor Mike Garrett when HE and HIS Program got caught red-handed breaking the rules.

UPDATE:  On Monday, the Pac-12 fined Haden $25,000 for his inappropriate actions, and reprimanded both him and Sarkissian.

So in the last two weeks or so, the trojan tally includes a player suspended for lying to the Country by claiming he saved a child from drowning when really he was probably involved in a burglary and was eluding Police; Then another player quit the team and claimed that Sarkissian was a Racist who treats Black players like SLAVES;  Then Haden pulls this outlandish stunt during a game and draws a $25K fine; and then another playing gets ejected, for targeting, i.e. using his helmet as a weapon to injure a Stanford player.  Calling u$c a “Clown College” may actually be too complimentary.

Meanwhile across town in Westwood, the only clown is the one you order into at the Drive-Thru, and Read the rest of this entry »

NOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES

September 7th, 2014

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D-LUSIONS OF GRANDEUR — The Defense that looked so good last week while bailing out the Offense gives up 469 yards to lowly Memphis, as the Bruins once again struggle to escape an unranked foe, leaving many doubts as to whether UCLA is as good as they thought they were coming into the season;  Meanwhile, the UCLA Spirit Squad lives up to their lofty expectations in the Bruins’ home debut

Half of the UCLA Football team is all that’s needed to beat the likes of Virginia and Memphis, but it will take the whole team to compete in the Pac-12.  On a day where u$c upset #13 Stanford in Palo Alto — thereby sending Fair Warning to the Bruins that UCLA’s ownership of L.A. could be in severe jeopardy — UCLA countered by barely surviving powderpuff Memphis, 42-35 in a game that was still in doubt all the way to the final gun.

The Bruins failed to dominate the Tigers because the UCLA Defense did not come close to playing as well as they did in Virginia.  Maybe they got a little complacent after their stellar performance a week ago, or maybe they REALLY missed Safety Randall Goforth, who injured his shoulder on Saturday night, left the game, and never returned.  The Coaches said that the Defensive players were not giving 100% on every play.  Whatever the reason, the Tigers torched them for 469 yards.

But just like last week, the weak half of the team was picked up by the other half.  The better half this time was the Offense, as Brett Hundley passed for 396 yards and 3 TD’s: a 62-yard bomb to Kenny Walker and 2 to Thomas Duarte; Paul Perkins ran for 2 TD’s and Myles Jack ran for another.  The Bruins were up 28-21 at the Half, and 35-21 in the 4th quarter.  But the Tigers came back with a drive to cut the lead in half, and then Read the rest of this entry »

AT LEAST TWO BRUINS STILL VYING TO BE BEST IN COUNTRY

September 6th, 2014

While Brett Hundley’s Heisman hopes got off to a slow start last week and the Bruins dropped from #7 to #11, Linebacker Eric Kendricks was named National Defensive Player of the Week, and UCLA Mascot Joe Bruin remained in the thick of things in the Capital One Mascot Challenge

Even during a week where the Bruins played poorly and dropped four spots in the rankings, there are still some bright spots.  Two individual Bruins are in the National spotlight, as Inside Linebacker Eric Kendricks earned major recognition, and Joe Bruin garnered major votes in the Mascot competition.  Kendricks made 16 tackles during the Week 1 victory over Virginia, 2 of which stopped the Cavaliers from converting on 3rd Downs.  That in itself would be enough, but it wasn’t close to all that he did.  Kendricks also intercepted a pass and returned it 37 yards for a Touchdown, AND forced a fumble that was returned 75 yards for another Touchdown.  This dominating performance earned Kendricks the Pac-12 Defensive Player of the Week award, the Walter Camp National Defensive Player of the Week award, and the Bronco Nagurski National Defensive Player of the Week award.  Not a bad start for an All-American candidate who was expected to be living in the shadow of Read the rest of this entry »

NO RED AND GOLD… NOT EVEN IN THE TOMATO GARDEN

September 5th, 2014

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YES, We Have No Red Tomatoes — A loyal Bruin fan and his family refused to have u$c colors on their property, so they planted only blue and gold tomatoes this year, and crushed the old red ones

Inspired by a Trojan-Hater photo of a menorah with only blue and gold candles (with all the red candles piled up unused), a die-hard UCLA fan has followed suit, by adorning his vegetable garden with blue and gold tomatoes only, and smashing the red ones that were previously growing there.  I love this level of dedication to the Rivalry.  Some might think it’s silly or over-the-top, but not me.  When you truly believe in what UCLA stands for, and you truly abhor what u$c stands for, you don’t WEAR red & gold, you don’t date trojans, you never root for any of their sports teams, you laugh hysterically when trojans falsely pretend to be heroes, and… Read the rest of this entry »

VIRGINIA FLIMS(Y)

August 30th, 2014

You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby (but you still have a long way to go) —  “#7″ UCLA wins their opener 28-20, but the Offense’s growth has been stunted, and it takes a smoking-hot 3-Touchdown 2nd quarter spurt BY THE DEFENSE to vaporize the Cavaliers

 When your Defense scores more points than your Offense, you know you’ve got issues.  When they score THREE TIMES AS MANY, your Offensive Coordinator better get to work.  The vaunted Bruin Offense and Heisman Hopeful QB Brett Hundley looked anything but explosive on Saturday in Charlottesville, getting shut out until late in the 3rd quarter, managing only 1 TD (a short QB Draw) for the whole game, and being unable to move the chains in crunch time to put the game on ice.  The Receivers dropped 5 balls, the Field Goal Kicker missed a 42-yard try, the Running Backs couldn’t break free, and the Offensive Line couldn’t open holes or protect Hundley in the pocket.  If not for a flurry of 3 straight TD’s by the Defense in the 2nd quarter, and a Defensive stop highlighted by a Myles Jack coverage play, the Bruins would have gotten upset (or at least taken to OT) by a 21-point underdog, and might have relinquished their spot in the National Rankings’ Top Ten.

The excuse will be that the Bruins are missing their Starting Center Jake Brendel with an injury.  Ok, but there was supposed to be enough depth this year to absorb that loss.  Apparently, there wasn’t.  Hundley was pressured all day by extra rushers, and Starting Bruin Running Back Jordon James gained a total of THREE YARDS on 5 carries.  He was replaced by Steven Manfro who promptly dropped two passes.  He was replaced by Paul Perkins, who may have earned an ascension up the depth chart by amassing 80 yards on 16 carries.  It is possible that the Coaching Staff made adjustments, as there WAS a little more running room later in the game.  But when the Bruins had the lead with time running out, they failed to run for the First Downs that would have put the game out of reach.

Despite pressure, Hundley still managed to pass for 242 yards, going 20/33, and don’t forget the 5 drops.  But when you consider the Bruins also amassed 12 penalties for 87 yards — more than 4 times more penalty yards than Virginia — Hundley’s numbers were not good enough to put the Cavaliers away.  Instead, Read the rest of this entry »

CLOWN COLLEGE COACH DEVELOPING “STERLING” REPUTATION

August 29th, 2014

U$C Head Coach Steve Sarkissian gets called out by one of his Black players for being a Racist and treating him like a slave

Excuse me… Coach Sarkissian — Is it okay if I bring a Black person to one of your games?

Okay, so let me get this straight — ESPN announces that u$c is a “clown college,” and THEN, AFTER THAT, a trojan Football player Tweets that his Head Coach is a Racist?  Wow.  I don’t know what is lower than “clown college,” but whatever it is, it is now defined by the University of Southern Cal.

Recently trojan Running Back Anthony Brown, who is Black, took a meeting with his Head Coach Steve Sarkissian.  Alledgedly, Sark jumped all over Brown, hurling F-bombs at him, and calling him a F*cking Coward just for entering the Coach’s office.  Brown has now QUIT THE TEAM, claiming that Sarkissian treated him like a slave, even disparaging his parents with racial overtones.  Brown Tweeted that he refuses to play for a Racist.

After this Tweet made it to National Media prominence, Sarkissian quickly went into full damage control mode.  Sark insists that he is not a Racist (just like Donald Sterling does), and that Brown’s claim is ridiculous.  Sark challenged the Media to come to campus and ask anyone in the Athletic Department whether Sarkissian is actually a Racist.  Oh Lord… If I could play some music here, it would be that classic  circus clown  theme song Read the rest of this entry »

TROJAN IS FROWNING AFTER CROWNING, CUZ HE WAS CLOWNING ABOUT DROWNING

August 28th, 2014

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Joshing about sloshing — Recently annointed “hero” and trojan Football player Josh Shaw is exposed for lying about diving off a balcony to save a 7-year old from drowning, prompting ESPN to declare u$c a “clown college”

Well, well, well… I believe it is time for all you soft-hearted trojan apologists who openly and publicly commended Josh Shaw for being a hero, to take one step forward and choke on some crow.  I got physically sick as so many so-called Bruins posted comments saluting the heroic efforts of trojan Footballer Josh Shaw, based on nothing more than HIS OWN CLAIMS that he sprained both his ankles when jumping off a second-story balcony to save his 7-year old nephew from drowning in a swimming pool.  How could you all be as gullible as trojan Head Coach Steve Sarkissian?

Ha!  New u$c mascot:  The Trojan Hoax.

After all these years of arrogant, selfish, inconsiderate, egotistical, narcissistic trojan players, coaches and fans always acting only in their OWN self-interest, why would you suddenly believe that one of them risked his own safety to save someone else?  Wasn’t it much more likely that he was FABRICATING the entire incident from scratch, just to earn publicity and glory?  Well, that’s exactly what this case turned out to be.

As soon as the story hit the National Media — because u$c fed the story to ESPN, etc. — calls came rolling in disputing and contradicting Shaw’s version of events.  So what happens then?  Does Shaw admit his disgusting lie?  Of course not.  SC never admits fault or shows remorse until backed completely into a corner, so help me O.J.  Instead of fessing up immediately, Shaw gets his sister Asia — the Mother of the 7-year old — to corroborate his story, adamantly insisting to the Press that Josh’s story is 100% accurate.  And this testimony was in spite of the fact that Asia was not even at the scene of the alleged incident.  So now we have TWO bald-faced liars… because today, the truth has come out, and Shaw has finally admitted to the World that his story was total bullish!t.

Maybe someone talked to the 7-year old?  What’s wrong, trojans — Couldn’t you COACH the kid to be convincing under cross-examination?

Or was it because of the OTHER SIDE of this still-developing story…

First of all, in Shaw’s confession, he refused to mention how he REALLY sprained both his ankles. He said it happened in a fall.  That’s it.  No circumstances revealed.  That secrecy, along with Shaw’s hiring of a prominent Defense Attorney, is making everyone wonder if the new allegations — of Shaw fleeing the scene of a burglary — are accurate.

At the same time when the injury occurred, a man fitting Shaw’s description — according to Shaw’s very own girlfriend — was seen shimmying down a pipe on the side of a building, forcing the Police to initiate a Burglary investigation. Read the rest of this entry »

THE PETER PATTERN OF LITTLE CHEATS

August 27th, 2014

Still Cheaty After All These Years — Pete Carroll adds another sanction to his growing family of violations, as he and his Seahawks are fined over $300,000 for being REPEAT OFFENDERS in the utilization of contact in offseason practice

As if anyone still needs for evidence to convince them of Pete Carroll’s complicity in U$C’s institutionalized climate of total disregard for the rules.

The Seattle Seahawks and specifically their Head Coach Pete Carroll have been busted yet again, this time to the tune of over $300,000, for repeating an NFL violation for which they had already been busted over a year ago.  The transgression involves having CONTACT in practices in the month of June.  Due to the abuse that NFL bodies are subjected to during the season, the NFL PLAYERS Association came to a collective bargaining agreement to ban contact in the off-season.  But does Pete Carroll give a f*ck about the health of his players, or the rules that are in place to protect them?  Of course not.  All he cares about is gaining a competitive advantage over the rest of the league, regardless of the rules he has to break to get it.

Obviously, Carroll has zero faith in his actual coaching ability to achieve success.  In his first stint in the NFL, his record was abysmal.  Then he was demoted to u$c, where he sucked until he started paying his players to attend, and started pumping them up with illegal steroids.  Then when his trojans were caught red-handed for having an institutional lack of compliance, he scurried back to the NFL, where he sucked again, until his Seahawks started breaking the rules and utilizing Carroll’s best friend, illegal steroids.  Seattle easily led the league in Steroid suspensions before they ever started winning.

The first time Carroll was busted for using contact during offseason practices, he feigned ignorance of the rules, just like he feigned ignorance about all his trojans receiving illegal benefits, illegal drugs, get-out-of-jail-free cards for legal issues, and get-out-of-class-free cards for all his academically-challenged non-student athletes.  What will he say THIS time — That he STILL didn’t know that contact in June was against the rules?

He just doesn’t care.  He has NEVER thought that the rules applied to him.  He is so arrogant that he blatantly defies the rules, and smiles smarmily when interrogated about it.  He never admitted fault at sc, and never showed remorse for the sorry state he left the program in when he bailed, just days before the NCAA delivered the death knell.  He will never change, because the public will continue to glorify him for his ill-gotten wins.  Too many people are just like him:  All they care about is the final score.  It’s all about who wins, and never about the slimy, BUSH-league way the wins are achieved.

This sad state of the Sports World is a shame, but it will make it THAT MUCH sweeter when Jim Mora wins, while doing it with Integrity.

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Speaking of integrity, Read the rest of this entry »

THE STAR’LETTE LAKER

August 26th, 2014

wsh09fb (21)p-twoThe Laker Girls double their dominance by adding UCLA Dance Team Star Nicolette to their squad, which already boasts UCLA Dance Team Star Lizzi

[NOTE:  This article includes 47 brand new UCLA Cheerleader photos following the brief text.]

Sincere congratulations go out today to former Bruin Dance-Teamer Nicolette, who has just been added to the prestigious Laker Girls.  As you probably know, hundreds of girls try out every year for the honor of donning the iconic Purple and Gold, so it is quite an accomplishment for our Blue and Gold Nicolette to have made it through this grueling competition.  But as you also probably know, Nicolette is entirely worthy, and raises the overall quality of the Laker Girls, with her striking looks and flawless dancing, just as Lizzi did when SHE succeeded in passing the audition previously.

Now here’s my only problem:  I’ve been a Laker fan since the 60’s, but I can’t force myself to root for ex-trojan and current Laker Nick Young, who is now one of the scoring leaders of the Lakers, and often gets to take (and usually miss) the clutch shots in crunch time.  I’m guessing the Coach calls a play for someone else to shoot, but Young chucks it up there himself anyway.  Clank.  Once a gunner, always a gunner.  Even with Kobe returning to health this season, I’m sure Young will remain a crucial element to the Lakers’ attack, and it will be almost impossible to root for the Lakers while hoping that Young is not involved in the outcome.  Alas… If only the Lakers had traded him away in a package deal for Kevin Love.  Instead, Read the rest of this entry »

THE STARLET GETTER

July 16th, 2014

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 “A” is for Awesome — On All-Star night, it’s time to celebrate stars and starlets, and as your friendly neighborhood starlet-getter, I went and got you 45 more never-before-seen shots of some of the starlets from the UCLA Spirit Squad

On Tuesday night in Minnesota, the 85th Annual Major League Baseball Game was played, bringing out our National Pasttime’s Best in the World.  And when you’re talking “World’s Best” anything, that usually means more Bruins than trojans.  This event was no exception to that rule.  There were more than ten times more Bruins than trojans, because 10 x 0 = 0 and 1 > 0.  That’s right, not a single trojan was voted by fans onto either All-Star Team starting line-up, nor was any trojan selected by the Managers as a Reserve.  But the Bruins had 1 participant:  Future Hall of Famer Chase Utley of Philadelphia.  The former Bruin Star was voted in as the National League’s Starting 2nd Baseman.  This was Utley’s SIXTH trip to play in the All-Star Game.  Utley has also won a World Championship (in 2008), and he won the Silver Slugger Award 4 times in a row, including in 2007, when he hit a remarkable .332.  And of course, unlike trojan Mark McGwire, Utley never took steroids! The National League fans were NOT disappointed in their selection for Starting 2nd Baseman, as Utley delivered with an RBI Double in the 2nd Inning, and then got on base again in the 4th before being pulled for a pinch runner.  Unfortunately for Utley and the NL, his production was not enough to overcome Mike Trout and the American League, who ultimately prevailed 5-3, earning home field advantage for the American League team in the World Series  The L.A. Angels’ Trout was named MVP, after hitting an RBI Triple, and later an RBI Double that broke a tie, giving the AL the lead for good.  Trout also made a nice catch in Left Field. Meanwhile, Trout’s local counterpart — the Dodgers’ Yasiel Puig, stunk the place up.  After totally choking in the Home Run Derby the night before, not hitting a single Tater, Puig continued his pathetic streak on Tuesday night.  He batted three times, and STRUCK OUT ALL THREE TIMES.  Not only that, but he Read the rest of this entry »

THEY CHOSE… WISELY

June 27th, 2014

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LaVine, Adams, and Anderson reach the Holy Grail, as THREE Bruins get drafted in the FIRST ROUND of the NBA Draft, for the first time since 1979

They aren’t ready for the Pro’s.  They could have come back, and worked on their bodies and their games.  They could have had an epic, unforgettable, life-altering year challenging for a National Championship at UCLA this upcoming season.  They could have left a legacy, bringing UCLA back to Nationally Elite status.  Despite all of that, Zach LaVine, Jordan Adams, and Kyle Anderson decided to quit on UCLA and bail prematurely for the NBA… and it looks like that mutual decision was NOT as insane as I’d like to think.  All three of them did indeed get selected in the first round, somewhat validating their decisions.

Of course I have mixed emotions about them leaving.  I am angry, and wished they stayed.  However, it is best for UCLA if these Bruins are successful in The League, so I have no choice but to wish them well.  I have very little trouble rooting for Anderson, as he actually played for UCLA a year longer than anticipated. He could have left after last year if he wanted, but he came back and played with heart, coming closer to averaging a triple-double than anyone else in the entire nation.  And it looks like he earned some good karma, because he got picked with the last pick of the first round, by the World Champion San Antonio Spurs, who return the nucleus of their Title-Winning Team.  Only Boris Diaw is departing, and that opens up a perfect slot for Anderson to fill.  We may just be watching Kyle in next year’s Finals.

I’m a little less happy about Read the rest of this entry »