Dedicated to the HATRED of all things trOJan




What a Drag — UCLA takes an offramp from the Freeway to the Playoffs, as the Offense sputters early, the Defense breaks down late, and the Special Teams idle throughout (except for Ka’imi Fairbairn’s career-long 53-yard Field Goal), leading to Arizona State pulling away 29-10 after three quarters, then surviving a furious comeback, and pulling away again, 38-23

The Bruins’ dreams are gone.  Hopes of a National Championship are dust in the wind, after a stunning HOME defeat at the hands of 13-point underdog 2-2 Arizona State.  For the fifth time in a row, the visiting team has won in this series, as this match-up against the Sun Devils proved to be the trap game that some people feared.  Just like last year, when the undefeated Bruins choked at Home against Utah, this time it was ASU to ruin a promising season.

It’s not that a team can’t overcome one loss and get back into National Title contention;  It’s more about being exposed as a pretender. Two more Defensive contributors were missing on Saturday evening, as Marcus Rios and Jayon Brown joined Myles Jack, Fabian Moreau, and Eddie Vanderdoes on the inactive list, forcing Randall Goforth to move from Safety to Cornerback, and forcing the Bruins to lose depth, and rely on more inexperienced players.  With all these problems, the Bruin Defense should have been the weakest link of the team, but in the early stages of the game, that was NOT the case.

In the first quarter, both defenses dominated play.  There were 7 punts in the first 12 minutes, and no one scored until UCLA QB Josh Rosen grounded the ball in the end zone, giving the Devils 2 points.  The Bruin Offense was manhandled at the line of scrimmage.  Paul Perkins couldn’t find any running room, and Rosen was pressured on most pass plays.  The Bruins mustered only 7 yards rushing in the first half.

After a last-second 53-yard Field Goal by Ka’imi Fairbairn — his career best —  it was 15-10 ASU at the Half, but Continue Reading »



There is a trap for that — As #7 UCLA gets ready to face 13-point underdog Arizona State and avoid a repeat of their surprise home “trap” loss to Utah last year, it’s time for me to post my last 100 shareable cheerleader photos from the BYU game

Even if the Bruins avoid the obvious trap game loss against the Sun Devils on Saturday, they are not exactly entering virgin territory.  Even though last year, the Bruins were 4-0 when they got upset by Utah in the Rose Bowl, it was only 2 years ago that they started the season 5-0, 2-0 in Conference, as they would be with a victory over ASU this weekend.  But… if they manage to get by the Devils — who were blown out by sc last week — then UCLA would face Stanford, with a chance to really go where no recent Bruin has gone before:  To a 6-0 start, and to a victory party for a win over the Cardinal.

But first things first.  ASU won here in Pasadena 2 years ago, and should be mad and fired up after getting torched by UCLA last year and by sc last week.  So, with UCLA possibly looking ahead to nemesis Stanford, this has all the makings of a trap game.  Why do I tempt fate by contemplating a possible season-ruining loss?  The answer to that is simple: Continue Reading »



No Lyin’ — Even without the “Mane” Pride of UCLA and King of the Jungle Myles Jack, the Bruins go to Arizona and lure the Wildcats out of their comfort zone, outscoring them 42-7 (after a first-drive U 0f A TD), on their way to a convincing 56-30 triumph, with the Lion’s Share of credit going to the Offense, led by Rosen, Perkins, Payton, and a dominant Offensive Line

Even though the UCLA Bruins were undefeated and ranked 9th in the Nation, some Bruins fans were NOT feeling confident before kickoff on Saturday.  For one thing, the Bruins’ three most crucial Defensive Players, Myles Jack, Eddie Vanderdoes, and Fabian Moreau, were all declared lost for the entire season.  Secondly, phenom QB Josh Rosen had gotten progressively worse in his first three games.  And finally, two of the teams the Bruins beat to rise to #9, Virginia and BYU, both got obliterated this week, a lot worse than how UCLA topped them.

So with all that in mind, the Bruins were vulnerable to an upset in Tucson.  3-point underdog Arizona had lost three straight to the Bruins, and were amped up for revenge;  The Cats had won all 3 of their games easily this year; The ESPN crew was on hand for a National “Game Day” broadcast, so the fans were raucous and plentiful; and the Cats were getting back their best player, Linebacker Scooby Wright.

But these are not your Daddy’s Bruins.  Nor are they Jerry Neuheisel’s Daddy’s Bruins.  After a quick, long opening TD drive by Arizona that gave the Cats an early 7-0 lead, UCLA erupted for 28 straight points.  Behind nifty running by Paul Perkins, pinpoint passing by Josh Rosen, clutch catches by Jordan Payton, who was battling an injured ankle, and most importantly, a powerful performance of Run Blocking and Pass Blocking by the Offensive Line, UCLA was unstoppable, finally firing on all cylinders.

The Bruins didn’t really need any help, but they got LOTS of it from the Wildcats.  Zona had a snap go over the QB’s head (recovered by Deon Hollins, who actually recovered TWO fumbles), several other high snaps that disrupted plays, an Interception (by Ishmael Adams), and a fumble caused by a Running Back knocking the ball away from the Quarterback.  The Bruins capitalized Continue Reading »


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Lowered Expectations — Myles Jack injures his knee in practice and is out for the year.  That makes the THREE BEST, most crucial Defensive Starters all lost for the season

The news couldn’t be any more tragic without someone dying.  The UCLA Bruins were devastated today by the news that All-American Superstar Linebacker/Running Back Myles Jack has gone down with a knee injury, and will not return this year.  Jack is already NFL-ready, so he may never put on a Bruin uniform again.

Sure the Bruins had depth this season, but losing Eddie Vanderdoes, Fabian Moreau, and Myles Jack would have knocked ANY team out of the Playoff picture.  It is simply impossible to replace that kind of immense talent.

The Wildcats should no longer be a 4-point underdog at home against the Walking Wounded from Westwood.  Ironic that Arizona is welcoming the return of Scooby Wright this Saturday — Wright is the only Linebacker West of the Mississippi that compares with Jack.

Just when the Bruins looked like true National Title contenders… With SC looking lousy last week in their loss to Stanford, and Alabama getting spanked, and Ohio State looking mortal against an unranked team… and now THIS.

There are no words to describe this feeling of despair.  The 7 stages of grief will now afflict many Bruin fans who were starting to think that this year could be magical.

Yogi Berra died today, and his most famous quote (of so many) was “It ain’t over ’til it’s over.”  The Bruin Optimists need to embrace this quote, because on paper, it sure looks to be over right now.  :-(




Happy Returns –UCLA’s Ishmael Adams is re-instated; Meanwhile it’s a black week for u$c, which is in the news for some very dark reasons

 This past week, the Bruins’ Devin Fuller had some Kick Returns that helped UCLA achieve a miraculous victory over BYU.  Fuller as a Returner is like a 9 on a scale of 1 to 10 — but the Bruins just got back a 10.  Ishmael Adams has been cleared of serious charges in his kerfuffle with a very green Uber driver, and has been re-instated to the UCLA Football Team.  Some haters will claim that the timing is suspicious, because “Ish,” in addition to being a Return Man, is also a capable Cornerback, and the Bruins just lost Starting CB Fabian Moreau to a season-ending injury.  But nothing could be further from the truth — Adams was re-instated as soon as the bogus charges were tossed.  Jim Mora is not a trojan.  He has shown nothing but pure integrity since coming to Westwood, and would not let a lack of DB depth affect his judgment on a disciplinary matter.

I don’t know if Adams will be playing this week in Arizona, but I hope so.  The Wildcats will be a tough match-up on the road, so Adams’ explosiveness could be crucial.  And he has already missed 3 games for what looks more like a misunderstanding than a crime, so I hope he is allowed to be a full participant in the contest on Saturday — the discipline of missing a quarter of the season has already been more than what was probably deserved.

Speaking of discipline, it looks like discipline is still severely lacking on the campus of Southern Cal.  Now let me stress that the following IS NO LAUGHING MATTER, and even though this is supposed to be a comedic, SATIRE site, this is a very serious issue that I am reporting here:

The Association of American Universities just released findings from an intensive, nationwide investigation of SEXUAL ASSAULT AND MISCONDUCT, and those findings state that of ALL the more than two dozen schools surveyed, including Ohio State, Wisconsin, Michigan, Michigan State, Texas, Texas A&M, Florida, and Oregon, NO ONE DID WORSE THAN U$C.

The good old University of Southern Califorrrrrrrnia is #1 in percentage of co-eds who have been victimized at the school by trojan sexual assault and misconduct.  In fact, a whopping 30% of female USC students reported that they have been attacked or otherwise abused in some sexual way.

Again, I have no desire to make light of this heinous situation.  A lot of schools Continue Reading »


byu15fb_0075aRevolution #9 — For the moment, #9 UCLA can look down their noses at the Red-nosed Sarkisian and his Red-nosed Clown College trojans, who are the Nation’s Biggest Losers, dropping 13 spots to #19 after getting upset by an unranked Stanford squad; The Bruins also passed Florida State and Alabama (!) in the AP Poll

If you had been told in August that UCLA and their True Freshman Quarterback would soon be ranked above u$c, Florida State, and Alabama, you would have been skeptical at the least.  Even after QB Josh Rosen had a mega-auspicious debut against Virginia, the Bruins still had a way to go before being considered in Alabama’s class.

Well, after the Bruins’ 3rd straight win on Saturday night, over a ranked BYU team, the Bruins are in the Playoff discussion, while Alabama and their Offensive Coordinator Lane Kiffin dropped 10 spots to #12 after losing AT HOME to Ole Miss.  That’s a huge drop, but not as big as sc’s 13-place freefall after losing AT HOME by 10 to 10-point Underdog Stanford.  In addition to passing those two Saturday losers, the Bruins also leapfrogged Florida State, who won their game 14-0.

So if UCLA passed three teams after starting the week at #10, why aren’t they #7?  Because they were themselves leapfrogged, by two SEC teams.  The Bruins can’t complain, since they barely squeaked by 17-point underdog BYU, AT HOME.  That allowed poll voters to place both Ole Miss and LSU (who whipped Auburn) above the Bruins.

Not to worry — If the Bruins keep on winning, the Polls will sort themselves out, and the Bruins will make the Playoffs.  But they will have to play much, much better than they did on Saturday. Converting only about 11% of their 3rd Downs will not Continue Reading »




Brigham Young is stunned by a double-digit 4th Quarter Comeback, achieved mostly on the legs of Paul Perkins and Nathan Starks (when the Cougars expected the Bruins to pass the ball to catch up), as #10 UCLA nips #19 BYU 24-23; Meanwhile, u$c loses to Stanford to go to 0-1 in the Pac-12, and fall out of the Top 10, behind the Bruins

What a night!!  First, the 10-point Underdog Stanford Cardinal goes into the Coliseum, and overcomes an 11-point deficit to upset (formerly) #6 u$c, 41-31.  Then, as if that wasn’t enough to make it a glorious night, UCLA overcomes the ejection of their leading tackler, an injury to their best Cover Cornerback, a recovered Onside Kick, three 1st Half Josh Rosen Interceptions, and a 10-point 4th Quarter deficit, to pull out a miracle 24-23 victory over #19 BYU.

The game at the Rose Bowl started out shaky for the Bruins, as they started with a 3-and-out.  Then their Defense, who is playing without former leading tackler, injured Eddie Vanderdoes, who had surgery last week, lost their NEW leading tackler, Kenny Young, on an ejection.  Referees ruled that Young targeted the BYU Quarterback.  The QB went down to the ground, and then it looked like Young tried to AVOID hitting him, but apparently brushed the QB’s helmet with his shoulder or arm while sliding past him.  Then All-Conference-level Cornerback Fabian Moreau got hurt, and didn’t come back until the last drive of the game.

Although the replacements played formidably (Isaako Savaiinaea for Young, and Denzel Fisher for Moreau), Continue Reading »


vir15fb_0087 2bThe Next Generation — Everyone is impressed by the latest batch of Bruin Cheerleaders, whose superpowers include SUPER-SPEED (racing into our hearts faster than a speeding bullet), and SUPER-STRENGTH (lifting the spirits of 80,000 people at a time)

As #10 UCLA gets ready to face off with #19 BYU at the Rose Bowl, it’s time to share one more batch of photographs of the Bruin Spirit Squad from the Week 1 game against Virginia.  With the 43 I share today, that leaves about 187 that are still worth sharing, and that some day, might re-surface, maybe during a bye week, perhaps.  But I’m hoping I get some better, A and B shots, this Saturday, that will preempt the sharing of the C+ shots from Week 1 that go on the back burner now.

Of course just about ANY shots of these lovely specimens of femininity and grace are worthy of publication, but I prefer to do everything I can to Continue Reading »


With quick clicks in six ticks, Harold Mansfield’s tricks kick out the pricks and find the fix that sticks, for my sick mix of chick pics. Hit the bricks, trojan dicks, you’ve been licked, so help me Skip Hicks!

Gene(ius) Hackman!

It took “only” TWO YEARS, but I finally found the genius (if not the droids) I was looking for.  Like a Jedi Knight with a Light Saber, SITE SAVER Harold Mansfield came to my rescue.

As I mentioned in an article earlier this month, this website has been having major technical malfunctions for over two years, and I had tried everything to fix it.  I hired experts, I scoured the internet for solutions, I reached out to WordPress, and I implored my hosting company to solve the issues.  But no one could even figure out what was CAUSING the trouble, let alone ascertain a SOLUTION.  That is, until I found the Gandalf of Programming, Harold Mansfield.  Yes, I know I am mixing cinema references now, but I don’t care:  I am so happy with the result, I might even mash up Star Wars and Star TREK!

After the constant headaches of my website randomly switching to the wrong format and theme and colors, and then after weeks of it just randomly going blank, and more importantly, after two years of so-called experts and technical support gurus stumbling around in the dark for two freaking years, Mr. Mansfield looked at the problem for about ten seconds, and knew exactly what to do.  And in a New York minute, he eradicated all the bogus programming bugs, and got the site up and running perfectly.

So I just want to profusely THANK Mr. Harold Mansfield (who has no dog in the UCLA/u$c Rivalry fight as far as I know, so trojans reading this should NOT hold any animus towards him), and show my appreciation for his genius, by promoting his remarkable and affordable services here.

Harold Mansfield • Web Consultant
(504)-264-2248 • M-F • 9-5 PST

If you have any computer/website-related issue, I highly recommend his services.  He is generous with his time, friendly, nice, easy to talk to, responsive to all concerns, and he breaks down complicated programming issues into terms that a layman like me can understand.  He is patient, and tolerant (of my ignorance), and is simply a wizard at problem-solving.  All for a very reasonable, more-than-competitive price.  For me, his value was priceless.

So give him a call, or check out his website.  You will not be disappointed.


[P.S.  Please nobody be offended by my use of the word “chicks.”  It was solely for the sake of the rhyming scheme.  I certainly don’t mean to demean the gorgeous and talented subjects of my photography.  If you’ve ever read any of my writing, you know I thoroughly respect them, and hold them in the utmost, highest esteem.  Thank you.]



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Who ya gonna call? — Super Louse Pete Carroll’s Super Bowl Super-Blunder comes back to haunt him in his very next game, as this time, down by 3 in Overtime, he louses it up by calling Marshawn Lynch’s number on 4th and 1, but EVERYONE knows it’s coming, and Seattle wasn’t dominating the line of scrimmage, so Lynch is stopped and the Seahawks are upset by the Rams

In February, disgraced ex-trojan coach Pete Carroll made arguably the Worst Call in the History of Sports, when he called a pass instead of giving the ball to Marshawn Lynch when the Seattle Seahawks were 1 yard away from winning Super Bowl 49.  A Patriot intercepted the pass, and New England became World Champions, while Carroll became a National laughingstock, the butt of jokes, and the subject of so many memes that it almost broke the internet.

It was the kind of monumental screw-up that you never live down, and can never get out of your mind.  So the whole World KNEW that the next time Carroll had to make a similar decision, there was NO WAY that he would not give the ball to Lynch.  It’s just that no one knew that the situation would come up in Carroll’s very next game.

Carroll’s Seahawks went into St. Louis as heavy favorites yesterday, but Continue Reading »


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Better Call Paul — When the (blue) chip is down in Vegas, Perkins is the Cooler, rushing for 151 yards and 2 TD’s, including a 56-yarder, picking up a mortal Rosen and the Bruins in a 37-3 shellacking of UNLV

Last week, the big Bruin story was the stunning debut of True Freshman QB Josh Rosen, who, in his very first game as a collegian, won National Player of the Week honors, and had people knee-jerking to premature Heisman talk.  But yesterday, in Week 2 against UNLV, in his first-ever ROAD game, Rosen came back down to Earth.  He had as many incompletions (7) in the first quarter as he did all game in Week 1, and later in the game he threw his first Interception, as he was hit hard before releasing the pass.

Rosen kept his poise, and was still accurate on short passes and slant patterns, but was routinely overthrowing his deep targets.  Some of those can be blamed on Receivers who sort of quit on their routes, and more often, had their route-progress impeded by tight, physical coverage, as the referees were letting a lot of contact go.  But there were still several where Rosen just didn’t have the same touch as he did against Virginia.

Perhaps the overthrows can be blamed on the thin dry Vegas air, as the temperature was measured at 96 degrees at kickoff.  Regardless of the reason, the Offense suffered, because Continue Reading »


Laundry List — Add another name to the lengthy scroll of ex-trojan Football players who’ve gotten busted:  This time it is former Tight End Owen Hanson, picked up in relation to International Drug Smuggling, Money Laundering, and Perverting Justice

Usually when you hear a form of the word “pervert” in relation to U$C, you think about the trojan professor who was molesting little boys in his house under the guise of “karate lessons,” or maybe the guy who got busted in Asia for soliciting underaged boys for sex, or the Girls Gone Wild guy who was accused of exploiting minors, or maybe even the rape allegations against so many prominent trojan players.

But this time, the word is all about perverting Justice, in a grand scheme to smuggle huge amounts of drugs, and to launder a shipload of dirty money.  Of course, 33-year old Owen Hanson is INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY, having at this point only been arrested, not convicted.  So please infer the word ALLEGED into any headline I write, or joke I make.

That being said… Hanson’s apparent connection to Chinese Crime Figures doesn’t bode well for his future.  Maybe he can wind up as O.J.’s cellmate, and they can decorate the cell in cardinal and gold. Continue Reading »

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